Is being comfortable more important than being fulfilled?

Tl;dr we’re realised we have fundamental differences but have a lot of love for each other, should we make it work or continue on in comfort?

It’s something I’m currently struggling with. I got married really young (22F he was 31M) and my perspective has changed a lot in the nearly 3 years we’ve been married. He’s a creative, and I work in an offshoot of engineering , I am really passionate about my work and am very determined to climb the ladder for my own goals (non-financial).

We’ve been arguing over the same things for the last two years or so, he believes he’s passed his peak in his field but wants to just work at it full time (don’t want to say exactly what field), but financially we’ve been surviving solely off my income for the past two years. For context my role is an apprenticeship so I study PT and work FT, more and more lately I’m finding myself really satisfied with my work life and the personal aspects of my life gym, sport (which he chooses not to engage with me in) and I’m finding us less and less drawn to each other.

I guess I’m feeling unfulfilled in the relationship, being married, I want to make it work as much as possible but he is a dreamer, a bit of scatter brain, whereas I’m borderline neurotic (I have bipolar so patterns and stability is important for me) and I’m finding we’re clashing more and more over little things but with those differences at the basis of the issues. I’ve not been drawn to other people but it’s certainly made me wonder if I was with someone who was more likeminded and driven would I be more overall fulfilled? What are your thoughts, comfortable living or potential fulfillment?



Submitted September 05, 2020 at 12:05AM

Tl;dr we’re realised we have fundamental differences but have a lot of love for each other, should we make it work or continue on in comfort?It’s something I’m currently struggling with. I got married really young (22F he was 31M) and my perspective has changed a lot in the nearly 3 years we’ve been married. He’s a creative, and I work in an offshoot of engineering , I am really passionate about my work and am very determined to climb the ladder for my own goals (non-financial).We’ve been arguing over the same things for the last two years or so, he believes he’s passed his peak in his field but wants to just work at it full time (don’t want to say exactly what field), but financially we’ve been surviving solely off my income for the past two years. For context my role is an apprenticeship so I study PT and work FT, more and more lately I’m finding myself really satisfied with my work life and the personal aspects of my life gym, sport (which he chooses not to engage with me in) and I’m finding us less and less drawn to each other.I guess I’m feeling unfulfilled in the relationship, being married, I want to make it work as much as possible but he is a dreamer, a bit of scatter brain, whereas I’m borderline neurotic (I have bipolar so patterns and stability is important for me) and I’m finding we’re clashing more and more over little things but with those differences at the basis of the issues. I’ve not been drawn to other people but it’s certainly made me wonder if I was with someone who was more likeminded and driven would I be more overall fulfilled? What are your thoughts, comfortable living or potential fulfillment?
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