How can I be a better partner when I'm struggling with mental health?

Hi I'm looking for advice - I (20f) have been a relationship with my BF (21m) for 2-3 years now, and he's my best friend, I love him to pieces and I'm so grateful to him. (Apologies in advance for a slightly longer post - I'm new to Reddit. Apparently I should also state that I'm on a mobile)

I've struggled with mental health, general anxiety and sadness for years, and while I have come a long, long way from where I used to be, it's still an issue for me. My BF has been great through all this - he hasn't always known how to deal with it, but he's learnt ways to care for me, especially in the last 6 months, and most importantly has been incredibly patient with me through everything. Despite how patient he's been, I do know (and have encouraged him to be honest about) how difficult it can be to deal with the sadness, irritability, negativity, and anxiety that I'm sometimes exhibiting. When I'm in the thick of it, I know I must not be very fun to be around. He reminds me that he loves me but I find it hard to be secure and often feel like he must resent me.

I really want to work on my part ( the mental health side) and I'm seeing a councilor etc. However in the meantime, how can I be paying him back for his patience and love? I feel a lot better when I do things to make him happy as I know that way there's good along with the bad. (To clarify, he has never made me feel guilty at all. This is just to help me know know that I'm a positive presence in his life rather than a negative one.)

TL;DR: I want ideas for nice things to do or tips on how to pay my partner back for his support.



Submitted September 05, 2020 at 12:20AM

Hi I'm looking for advice - I (20f) have been a relationship with my BF (21m) for 2-3 years now, and he's my best friend, I love him to pieces and I'm so grateful to him. (Apologies in advance for a slightly longer post - I'm new to Reddit. Apparently I should also state that I'm on a mobile)I've struggled with mental health, general anxiety and sadness for years, and while I have come a long, long way from where I used to be, it's still an issue for me. My BF has been great through all this - he hasn't always known how to deal with it, but he's learnt ways to care for me, especially in the last 6 months, and most importantly has been incredibly patient with me through everything. Despite how patient he's been, I do know (and have encouraged him to be honest about) how difficult it can be to deal with the sadness, irritability, negativity, and anxiety that I'm sometimes exhibiting. When I'm in the thick of it, I know I must not be very fun to be around. He reminds me that he loves me but I find it hard to be secure and often feel like he must resent me.I really want to work on my part ( the mental health side) and I'm seeing a councilor etc. However in the meantime, how can I be paying him back for his patience and love? I feel a lot better when I do things to make him happy as I know that way there's good along with the bad. (To clarify, he has never made me feel guilty at all. This is just to help me know know that I'm a positive presence in his life rather than a negative one.)TL;DR: I want ideas for nice things to do or tips on how to pay my partner back for his support.
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