Bless my soul for I shall try again ... Any last minute words of advice? Survival tips? Or am I dead already and these are the words of the dead?

My heart mind and body have been broken over and over again every time I make a new profile. It's been a few years since the last one. Here's what I'm going to do.

1) Take a lot of medication to remain calm (I'm pretty loaded up right now).

2) Get my hair cut to the ideal shape (i have it extra rock star long for fun right now but I know it's not appealing and looks better shorter).

3) Dye out my grey hair (yeah I'm in my 30s now that's a thing).

4) Take some pictures. Target ideas:

- 1 standing smiling outdoors chest and up with trees/nature.

- 1 playing an instrument, not looking at camera.

- 1 wearing a stethoscope and smiling looking like a doctor in my office but hopefully not looking like a "Linked in" picture.

- 1 skydiving.

I wanted to have one of my torso and abs but I'm still 5 lb of fat loss and 10 lb of muscle gain away from looking impressive there so this will have to be good enough. That will be for next try in 3 months.

Clothing - I like simple clothing. Jeans and a plain grey v neck shirt. Should I go buy some flashily branded designer clothes? I don't fear gold diggers. I fear zero matches. I can afford it. Maybe? I find button up dress shirts just make you look stuffy even if they're nice unless you could pass for James Bond which I can't.

Then I'm going to throw myself on the mercy of the mob. Most likely outcome - further total destruction of my semi-regenerated fragile self esteem. Leading to some drastic surgeries improve my face and get better looking. Best case scenario - maybe I'm good enough as I am. One can dream.

What do you think? Anything else I should be doing/thinking? I want to take a slim girl to a nice Italian restaurant (or invite her over with delivery) and talk.

Submitted September 05, 2020 at 12:20AM

My heart mind and body have been broken over and over again every time I make a new profile. It's been a few years since the last one. Here's what I'm going to do.1) Take a lot of medication to remain calm (I'm pretty loaded up right now).2) Get my hair cut to the ideal shape (i have it extra rock star long for fun right now but I know it's not appealing and looks better shorter).3) Dye out my grey hair (yeah I'm in my 30s now that's a thing).4) Take some pictures. Target ideas:- 1 standing smiling outdoors chest and up with trees/nature.- 1 playing an instrument, not looking at camera.- 1 wearing a stethoscope and smiling looking like a doctor in my office but hopefully not looking like a "Linked in" picture.- 1 skydiving.I wanted to have one of my torso and abs but I'm still 5 lb of fat loss and 10 lb of muscle gain away from looking impressive there so this will have to be good enough. That will be for next try in 3 months.Clothing - I like simple clothing. Jeans and a plain grey v neck shirt. Should I go buy some flashily branded designer clothes? I don't fear gold diggers. I fear zero matches. I can afford it. Maybe? I find button up dress shirts just make you look stuffy even if they're nice unless you could pass for James Bond which I can't.Then I'm going to throw myself on the mercy of the mob. Most likely outcome - further total destruction of my semi-regenerated fragile self esteem. Leading to some drastic surgeries improve my face and get better looking. Best case scenario - maybe I'm good enough as I am. One can dream.What do you think? Anything else I should be doing/thinking? I want to take a slim girl to a nice Italian restaurant (or invite her over with delivery) and talk.