To my crush

You probably forgot about me in this quarantine, but I've been thinking of you the whole period, even without seeing you, I experienced happiness, sadness, surprise, regret, fear, concern, relief, hope, horniness, excitement, anxiety, delusion, pride, shame, madness, all of this just thinking about you and your implications with me, I dont remember feeling so much, I even dreamt of you three times.

We had very few interactions, mostly trivial ones, but you aways was sympathic to me, when I made a scene in front of every one, you didnt go mad, you were laughing in secret to not shame me more, when I apologised, you said "It's fine" in such nice way. You aways seen to have good vibes, trying to stay positive and laugh at funny situations without taking it too seriously. You dont look like most of my colleagues, you look colourful, full of life dont fearing what people might think of you.

You look more closed to strangers, maybe feeling insecure or being shy, but you really show more of yourself to your friends. I have difficulty in talk to you, but you may be open to new people.

You are gorgeous, one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, blonde with long hair, perfect face and a very light skin, you are attractive, beautiful, cute and can be very hot. You look sociable, with many friends, aways having someone by your side, you probably has experienced many adventures for looking outgoing.

You look alike to me, similar tastes, similar way to talk, similar energy, there is so few people I feel a bit of myself in them, I still dont believe how you look so perfect to me.

You probably doesnt know this, but I probably met you 7 years ago in the 6th grade in an English course, same name, similar appearance, similar voice, similar personality, you was also attractive at that time, and you was almost a child, now you evolved so much. Imagine the connections and nostalgia you will feel when you remember me.

One of my biggest fears is that if my vision of you ends up being totally wrong and you end up being someone obnoxious and controversial, aways talking about politics and complaining all the time. If you arent like that, you are the ideal girl to me.

This may sound a bit obsessive and creepy, but you are my priority, I may look like you arent, but you really are, you are everything I've ever wanted, I cant let this slip away, I am too fucked up, and you are the key to deal with this. Having a strong female presence over me, giving me more people to talk, more oportunities to do something cool. You have a great package of emotions for me, which is my only hope in life.

I sometimes feel that you are out of my league, too good for a depressed outcast like me, but I remember that there is no problem if I do everything right, it just depends on me.

On the last day, I asked your number and you refused, when I said "maybe next time", I thought you would be cold and distant, but you openly said that there are many oportunities for us to do lessons together. I leaved with hope, hope that we might get closer in the future, you probably observed me and realized I looked a cool dude, you dont feel indifferent to me, I aways thought you werent interested in me and were just being nice, but now I realized that you may be a little interested in me, I made progress.

It's been a long time since I last had a crush, since I last had a purpose, and I didnt do anything, but now I am making effort, overcoming shyness because I know it is worth it.

In two weeks, I am gonna make you remember of me and we will continue in this chapter together.

Submitted May 06, 2020 at 12:00AM

You probably forgot about me in this quarantine, but I've been thinking of you the whole period, even without seeing you, I experienced happiness, sadness, surprise, regret, fear, concern, relief, hope, horniness, excitement, anxiety, delusion, pride, shame, madness, all of this just thinking about you and your implications with me, I dont remember feeling so much, I even dreamt of you three times.We had very few interactions, mostly trivial ones, but you aways was sympathic to me, when I made a scene in front of every one, you didnt go mad, you were laughing in secret to not shame me more, when I apologised, you said "It's fine" in such nice way. You aways seen to have good vibes, trying to stay positive and laugh at funny situations without taking it too seriously. You dont look like most of my colleagues, you look colourful, full of life dont fearing what people might think of you.You look more closed to strangers, maybe feeling insecure or being shy, but you really show more of yourself to your friends. I have difficulty in talk to you, but you may be open to new people.You are gorgeous, one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, blonde with long hair, perfect face and a very light skin, you are attractive, beautiful, cute and can be very hot. You look sociable, with many friends, aways having someone by your side, you probably has experienced many adventures for looking outgoing.You look alike to me, similar tastes, similar way to talk, similar energy, there is so few people I feel a bit of myself in them, I still dont believe how you look so perfect to me.You probably doesnt know this, but I probably met you 7 years ago in the 6th grade in an English course, same name, similar appearance, similar voice, similar personality, you was also attractive at that time, and you was almost a child, now you evolved so much. Imagine the connections and nostalgia you will feel when you remember me.One of my biggest fears is that if my vision of you ends up being totally wrong and you end up being someone obnoxious and controversial, aways talking about politics and complaining all the time. If you arent like that, you are the ideal girl to me.This may sound a bit obsessive and creepy, but you are my priority, I may look like you arent, but you really are, you are everything I've ever wanted, I cant let this slip away, I am too fucked up, and you are the key to deal with this. Having a strong female presence over me, giving me more people to talk, more oportunities to do something cool. You have a great package of emotions for me, which is my only hope in life.I sometimes feel that you are out of my league, too good for a depressed outcast like me, but I remember that there is no problem if I do everything right, it just depends on me.On the last day, I asked your number and you refused, when I said "maybe next time", I thought you would be cold and distant, but you openly said that there are many oportunities for us to do lessons together. I leaved with hope, hope that we might get closer in the future, you probably observed me and realized I looked a cool dude, you dont feel indifferent to me, I aways thought you werent interested in me and were just being nice, but now I realized that you may be a little interested in me, I made progress.It's been a long time since I last had a crush, since I last had a purpose, and I didnt do anything, but now I am making effort, overcoming shyness because I know it is worth it.In two weeks, I am gonna make you remember of me and we will continue in this chapter together.