(24F 23M) Boyfriend misspells and makes incessant typos - how to make him stop / am I being petty

I've always been very good at spelling and highly value accuracy in language, including proper spelling. I think when someone doesn't spell correctly, it makes them look foolish and careless. Exceptions made obviously with later English learning or learning disabilities, but neither of those apply here. My boyfriend of 3 years consistently writes "alot," "didint," "wouldent," etc. When I started dating him I thought "it's okay, I will grow to accept it because everyone is smart in different ways." And it's true, he has a lot of the "emotional intelligence." So I didn't really notice it for a while but now it's really starting to piss me off.

I know he knows how to spell the words. I've asked him. He just doesn't care. That's what turns me off - it's one thing to be unfamiliar with an uncommon word, I know he doesn't enjoy reading like I do (that's its own disappointment), but why would you willingly look like a dumbass? He excessively values freedom, until recently he barely brushed his teeth because he was still "rebelling" against his parents for making him brush his teeth. I talked him into being better about that, because it's not only fucking disgusting but also dangerous, and I'm wondering if this has a similar cause. But I'm not sure how to go about asking about it, because I don't want to blow my chance to express that it seriously bothers me, and I predict he'll resist very heavily because he doesn't like being told what to do even if he has no reason to do it his way beyond comfort.

It's compounded by the fact that he makes more typos than literally anyone I've ever seen. He mostly writes to me on a smartphone, and doesn't use autocorrect because he doesn't like it changing his words, but he also doesn't go back and correct typos, which are in almost every sentence above 3 words. I already had to ask him a few months ago to correct illegible words, because it was at the point where I'd have to decipher something where most of the letters were wrong and I was sick of having to decode shit just to talk to my partner. But still, I'm just tired of it. I keep thinking about what a luxury it would be to have a partner who uses clear English. I don't want to break up with him for fucking typos and misspellings, but it feels like the difference between walking in snow vs on pavement, you know? It's tiring. I want to have a nicely flowing conversation for once instead of constantly tripping over the misplaced letters that muddy up the whole message. Is that unreasonable? He's already explained to me that the typo thing is a comfort thing. I don't want him to feel less comfortable by having to clean up his text, but it makes me uncomfortable to read it. Again, mind you, this isn't just an occasional typo.

So what I'm asking is: How would you go about bringing up that your partner's janky English is seriously bothering you, and/or ask him to turn on autocorrect or at least start spelling "alot" right? In the case where your partner is very sensitive to being corrected. Alternatively, should I just suck it up and deal with it? I can still understand what he's saying most of the time. That should be all that matters. But it's fucking annoying to have clean text be the exception rather than the rule.

TL;DR: My boyfriend makes an egregious amount of typos and misspellings of common words. He's aware of it, but doesn't care. I want to ask him to change, but he's very resistant to change and I feel like I don't have a good argument beyond "it annoys me deeply." How can I / should I ask him to change?

Submitted May 06, 2020 at 12:02AM

I've always been very good at spelling and highly value accuracy in language, including proper spelling. I think when someone doesn't spell correctly, it makes them look foolish and careless. Exceptions made obviously with later English learning or learning disabilities, but neither of those apply here. My boyfriend of 3 years consistently writes "alot," "didint," "wouldent," etc. When I started dating him I thought "it's okay, I will grow to accept it because everyone is smart in different ways." And it's true, he has a lot of the "emotional intelligence." So I didn't really notice it for a while but now it's really starting to piss me off.I know he knows how to spell the words. I've asked him. He just doesn't care. That's what turns me off - it's one thing to be unfamiliar with an uncommon word, I know he doesn't enjoy reading like I do (that's its own disappointment), but why would you willingly look like a dumbass? He excessively values freedom, until recently he barely brushed his teeth because he was still "rebelling" against his parents for making him brush his teeth. I talked him into being better about that, because it's not only fucking disgusting but also dangerous, and I'm wondering if this has a similar cause. But I'm not sure how to go about asking about it, because I don't want to blow my chance to express that it seriously bothers me, and I predict he'll resist very heavily because he doesn't like being told what to do even if he has no reason to do it his way beyond comfort.It's compounded by the fact that he makes more typos than literally anyone I've ever seen. He mostly writes to me on a smartphone, and doesn't use autocorrect because he doesn't like it changing his words, but he also doesn't go back and correct typos, which are in almost every sentence above 3 words. I already had to ask him a few months ago to correct illegible words, because it was at the point where I'd have to decipher something where most of the letters were wrong and I was sick of having to decode shit just to talk to my partner. But still, I'm just tired of it. I keep thinking about what a luxury it would be to have a partner who uses clear English. I don't want to break up with him for fucking typos and misspellings, but it feels like the difference between walking in snow vs on pavement, you know? It's tiring. I want to have a nicely flowing conversation for once instead of constantly tripping over the misplaced letters that muddy up the whole message. Is that unreasonable? He's already explained to me that the typo thing is a comfort thing. I don't want him to feel less comfortable by having to clean up his text, but it makes me uncomfortable to read it. Again, mind you, this isn't just an occasional typo.So what I'm asking is: How would you go about bringing up that your partner's janky English is seriously bothering you, and/or ask him to turn on autocorrect or at least start spelling "alot" right? In the case where your partner is very sensitive to being corrected. Alternatively, should I just suck it up and deal with it? I can still understand what he's saying most of the time. That should be all that matters. But it's fucking annoying to have clean text be the exception rather than the rule.TL;DR: My boyfriend makes an egregious amount of typos and misspellings of common words. He's aware of it, but doesn't care. I want to ask him to change, but he's very resistant to change and I feel like I don't have a good argument beyond "it annoys me deeply." How can I / should I ask him to change?