Need help with S/O' low sex drive

TLDR: I still have a fairly high sex drive, wife doesn't seem interested in sex anymore or foreplay when we do have sex. We are down to once every 2 months at best. Everything else is good but I need more physically in the relationship and want to explore more sexually. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks

My wife(30) and I(35) have been married for 8 years. In the begining we were having sex regularly and doing different things that were fun and exciting. Over the last few years our sex life has dwindled to once every couple months at best. I still have quite a high sex drive but she has next to no sex drive.

Even when we do have sex I am the one that initiates it (I never force anything) it is the most boring sex ever. Quite often than not I will get a comment like “fine but you have to do all the work.” At first that started as a joke and the first couple times it was kinda fun to have her lay there and just have my way with her but she was still into it. Now it’s not so funny as it seems she really has lost interest. When we do have sex, she doesn’t want to do a lot of fore play. She doesn’t let me rub, finger or even go down on her. Which is stuff that not only do I like to do for her but it turns me on as well. If she does go down on me I almost have to beg for it and it's only for a few minutes. The kissing is just very light not heavy and no tongue like it used to be. Most of the time she wants me to cum as quickly as I can and get it over with while she just lays there. I honestly can’t remember the last time I made her orgasm. It kind of feels like I’m having sex with a sex doll, which isn't a turn on for me. We’ve tried toys to spice things up, she liked that but quickly lost interest.

I need there to be more intimacy and passion, I need her to be into it, I need it to be more often and I need her to initiate once in awhile. I want to explore more sexually.

I know alot of you are going to say I need to talk to her and I know this, I have tried. I have brought all of this up to her. But whenever I bring it up she shuts down and it’s almost impossible to gets her to talk about sex or her feelings, fantasies/desires. The last time we talked about it it took almost an hour of me spilling my guts and telling her mine and with alot of her tearing up to finally open up even a bit.

I really don’t know what to do anymore or how to express my frustrations and feelings. Im still satisfied in every other part of the relationship and love her. She is my absolute best friend but physically my needs aren’t being met. I hope I don't come off like I am a sex crazed animal but I need more than flavourless vanilla sex every 2 months.

Thanks for reading I needed to get that out. Any advice would be appreciated.

Submitted May 06, 2020 at 12:03AM

TLDR: I still have a fairly high sex drive, wife doesn't seem interested in sex anymore or foreplay when we do have sex. We are down to once every 2 months at best. Everything else is good but I need more physically in the relationship and want to explore more sexually. Any advice will be appreciated. ThanksMy wife(30) and I(35) have been married for 8 years. In the begining we were having sex regularly and doing different things that were fun and exciting. Over the last few years our sex life has dwindled to once every couple months at best. I still have quite a high sex drive but she has next to no sex drive.Even when we do have sex I am the one that initiates it (I never force anything) it is the most boring sex ever. Quite often than not I will get a comment like “fine but you have to do all the work.” At first that started as a joke and the first couple times it was kinda fun to have her lay there and just have my way with her but she was still into it. Now it’s not so funny as it seems she really has lost interest. When we do have sex, she doesn’t want to do a lot of fore play. She doesn’t let me rub, finger or even go down on her. Which is stuff that not only do I like to do for her but it turns me on as well. If she does go down on me I almost have to beg for it and it's only for a few minutes. The kissing is just very light not heavy and no tongue like it used to be. Most of the time she wants me to cum as quickly as I can and get it over with while she just lays there. I honestly can’t remember the last time I made her orgasm. It kind of feels like I’m having sex with a sex doll, which isn't a turn on for me. We’ve tried toys to spice things up, she liked that but quickly lost interest.I need there to be more intimacy and passion, I need her to be into it, I need it to be more often and I need her to initiate once in awhile. I want to explore more sexually.I know alot of you are going to say I need to talk to her and I know this, I have tried. I have brought all of this up to her. But whenever I bring it up she shuts down and it’s almost impossible to gets her to talk about sex or her feelings, fantasies/desires. The last time we talked about it it took almost an hour of me spilling my guts and telling her mine and with alot of her tearing up to finally open up even a bit.I really don’t know what to do anymore or how to express my frustrations and feelings. Im still satisfied in every other part of the relationship and love her. She is my absolute best friend but physically my needs aren’t being met. I hope I don't come off like I am a sex crazed animal but I need more than flavourless vanilla sex every 2 months.Thanks for reading I needed to get that out. Any advice would be appreciated.