Still in love with my ex, but I have a new boyfriend

Okay guys. Throw-away account for obvious reasons. Me (F23) and my boyfriend (M22) were together for 7 years. We had a great relationship, were super close with each other’s families, had a future planned together after university... but we broke up in August 2019. There was some communication problems due to having different views about certain recreational activities. We talked through everything and got back together for a couple of months until October, we were communicating amazingly, however my boyfriend started to suffer with anxiety and depression during this time because of everything that happened. We broke up in October. It was a very mutual decision and was handled very maturely. We just wanted to give each other space so that we could both be happy.

I felt that I was over my ex and I got a new boyfriend (M21) in December (in hindsight, I should have given myself more time alone). We are still together, we have fun, and I do love him. But I’ve just stared to think about my ex boyfriend a lot recently - since lockdown (about 6/7 weeks ago). For context - I’m finishing my university degree, my boyfriend is in his hometown and I haven’t seen him since lockdown, and my ex is in his hometown (I haven’t seen him since October when we broke up).

I keep finding myself comparing my current boyfriend with my ex, and getting very upset knowing that our plans for after uni, of living together, travelling together etc are now not going to happen.

I’m trying to figure out whether I am having these thoughts because of lockdown/corona/finishing uni and the unknown, or whether I am having these thoughts because, really, I want to be with my ex. I still love him so much. What are your guys thoughts? Is it unfair to be with my current boyfriend when I’m having these thoughts?

TL;DR: still in love with my ex boyfriend but I have a new boyfriend. I’m not sure whether I’m having these thoughts because of lockdown/corona/finishing uni or because I really want to be with my ex.



Submitted April 25, 2020 at 12:11AM

Okay guys. Throw-away account for obvious reasons. Me (F23) and my boyfriend (M22) were together for 7 years. We had a great relationship, were super close with each other’s families, had a future planned together after university... but we broke up in August 2019. There was some communication problems due to having different views about certain recreational activities. We talked through everything and got back together for a couple of months until October, we were communicating amazingly, however my boyfriend started to suffer with anxiety and depression during this time because of everything that happened. We broke up in October. It was a very mutual decision and was handled very maturely. We just wanted to give each other space so that we could both be happy.I felt that I was over my ex and I got a new boyfriend (M21) in December (in hindsight, I should have given myself more time alone). We are still together, we have fun, and I do love him. But I’ve just stared to think about my ex boyfriend a lot recently - since lockdown (about 6/7 weeks ago). For context - I’m finishing my university degree, my boyfriend is in his hometown and I haven’t seen him since lockdown, and my ex is in his hometown (I haven’t seen him since October when we broke up).I keep finding myself comparing my current boyfriend with my ex, and getting very upset knowing that our plans for after uni, of living together, travelling together etc are now not going to happen.I’m trying to figure out whether I am having these thoughts because of lockdown/corona/finishing uni and the unknown, or whether I am having these thoughts because, really, I want to be with my ex. I still love him so much. What are your guys thoughts? Is it unfair to be with my current boyfriend when I’m having these thoughts?TL;DR: still in love with my ex boyfriend but I have a new boyfriend. I’m not sure whether I’m having these thoughts because of lockdown/corona/finishing uni or because I really want to be with my ex.
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