My girlfriend (20F) thinks that I (20M) say misogynistic/sexist/gross things when I don’t mean that at all.

My girlfriend (20F) thinks that I (20M) say/mean misogynistic or sexist things when I don’t.

For example, maybe 2 weeks ago, she said that the quarantine was gonna make her go crazy and buy new clothes. My response to her, who I believe is the most beautiful human being, was “Can’t wait to see you in them babe”. Now the meaning behind this response in my mind was that she is a beautiful girl whom I love and adore, and I enjoy seeing her beauty and admiring it, therefore I would obviously be excited to be able to admire that more. However, she is a feminist and full-on liberal (nothing wrong with that, I’m just giving context. You guys don’t know her and I do, ya know?). Anyways, she immediately replied upset, telling me that she doesn’t buy clothes for me to see her in, but for herself. Now I got upset because I felt like she accused me and assumed of me that I believed some misogynistic thing like “the only reason girls should buy nice clothes is to please their man,” which I don’t. And I have tried on multiple occasions to explain that to her. But it seems like I can’t get that point across. This is only one instance, but it just seems like her feminist views instantly make her take something I say, and see it as something that might be threatening her independence/femininity. Has anyone else experienced this/could anyone give some unbiased insight?

TLDR: my girlfriend thinks I say misogynistic things and I can’t get her to see that I’m not that person/I don’t mean those things ever.



Submitted April 24, 2020 at 11:33PM

My girlfriend (20F) thinks that I (20M) say/mean misogynistic or sexist things when I don’t.For example, maybe 2 weeks ago, she said that the quarantine was gonna make her go crazy and buy new clothes. My response to her, who I believe is the most beautiful human being, was “Can’t wait to see you in them babe”. Now the meaning behind this response in my mind was that she is a beautiful girl whom I love and adore, and I enjoy seeing her beauty and admiring it, therefore I would obviously be excited to be able to admire that more. However, she is a feminist and full-on liberal (nothing wrong with that, I’m just giving context. You guys don’t know her and I do, ya know?). Anyways, she immediately replied upset, telling me that she doesn’t buy clothes for me to see her in, but for herself. Now I got upset because I felt like she accused me and assumed of me that I believed some misogynistic thing like “the only reason girls should buy nice clothes is to please their man,” which I don’t. And I have tried on multiple occasions to explain that to her. But it seems like I can’t get that point across. This is only one instance, but it just seems like her feminist views instantly make her take something I say, and see it as something that might be threatening her independence/femininity. Has anyone else experienced this/could anyone give some unbiased insight?TLDR: my girlfriend thinks I say misogynistic things and I can’t get her to see that I’m not that person/I don’t mean those things ever.
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