Gfs Dad Is A Miserable Ass - Am I In The Wrong?

Hey, basically looking for advice here to see if I'm in the wrong or if I'm overthinking any thoughts or advice you have would be very much appreciated..

Basically myself (27 m) and my girlfriend (28 f) of nearly 3 years are currently living in a newly renovated bungalow and have been for just over a year. Her Dad basically built the bungalow from scratch and when it was done needed someone to live in there look after it etc. We currently live there rent free, however we both pay all the bills (utilities, council tax, phone/internet line rental, insurance), and I basically keep it spotlessly clean, furnished the whole place and make sure everything is running well and looked after.

I work for the police in digital forensics and my gf is a nurse, both working full time. I thought I had a pretty decent relationship with my girlfriends dad - we went out drinking together on holidays and pretty much just shot the breeze. I'm not a big DIY guy and I'm more into my computers and geeky things while he likes to be hands on - still, I always offer to help him out when he comes over to finish up bits and pieces of the bungalow.

A few days ago he blew up over plants not being watered at my girlfriend. There is a pretty expensive olive tree in the garden which I admit I don't water daily, only when I remember too, maybe every few days or so. And a few small Yukka plants, that's it. All the plants are alive and healthy. There is also a small patch of soil out the back of the house that last year he grew vegetables on. I weeded about half of the soil myself a few weeks ago, however the same time he blew up about the plants, he made a big deal about the soil not being weeded sort of passively, not outrightly saying it, but basically shaking his head at the unweeded soil and making sure I noticed.

I let his drama about the unwatered plants and unweeded soil go.

Yesterday I just finished a 70 hour working week across 6 days in a row in a particularly stressful murder case where I have been called in the middle of the early hours of the morning to get into work asap, and I have been totally exhausted - physically and mentally - and just looking forward to my 3 days off work to just relax and get prepared for the next week of inevitable heavy work.

Today he came over and basically ignored me and my girlfriend to make a point of digging the garden - then her mother rang and told us we need to take more responsibility. I pretty much lost it and stormed off. I earn significantly more than my girlfriend, and the only reason we can afford to live there and pay the bills etc is because I pay for pretty much everything out of my pay check - utilities, food bills, takeaways, holidays etc. It just got really under my skin that they would say that considering I basically make it a point to ensure the house is well taken care of and all the bills are paid.

A few plants went unwatered for a day or two because I was working my ass off on a stressful case really late all week, and some soil went unweeded for the same reason.

Am I being unreasonable here? To speak the truth I'm only living here as a favour to her family to take care of the place, and would be just as happy and financially better of living my folks. I suddenly feel really unwelcome in this house and genuinely don't know where this sudden bad attitude towards me has come from.

To best honest I've always thought her dad a sulky and miserable arsehole who I have tolerated and humoured for her sake - never clashed with him and laughed and smiled at his lame jokes usually involving belittling someone else. I'm a pretty laid back and chilled out person for the record.

Would appreciate some feedback, good or bad - I'm just totally out of ideas of what I've done wrong here. Thanks all!

Tldr - Didn't water plants for 2 days because of heavy murder case at work - gf's dad decided to be an asshole to me about it, despite me paying and taking care of his second home we're living at rent free.

Submitted April 25, 2020 at 12:16AM

Hey, basically looking for advice here to see if I'm in the wrong or if I'm overthinking any thoughts or advice you have would be very much appreciated..Basically myself (27 m) and my girlfriend (28 f) of nearly 3 years are currently living in a newly renovated bungalow and have been for just over a year. Her Dad basically built the bungalow from scratch and when it was done needed someone to live in there look after it etc. We currently live there rent free, however we both pay all the bills (utilities, council tax, phone/internet line rental, insurance), and I basically keep it spotlessly clean, furnished the whole place and make sure everything is running well and looked after.I work for the police in digital forensics and my gf is a nurse, both working full time. I thought I had a pretty decent relationship with my girlfriends dad - we went out drinking together on holidays and pretty much just shot the breeze. I'm not a big DIY guy and I'm more into my computers and geeky things while he likes to be hands on - still, I always offer to help him out when he comes over to finish up bits and pieces of the bungalow.A few days ago he blew up over plants not being watered at my girlfriend. There is a pretty expensive olive tree in the garden which I admit I don't water daily, only when I remember too, maybe every few days or so. And a few small Yukka plants, that's it. All the plants are alive and healthy. There is also a small patch of soil out the back of the house that last year he grew vegetables on. I weeded about half of the soil myself a few weeks ago, however the same time he blew up about the plants, he made a big deal about the soil not being weeded sort of passively, not outrightly saying it, but basically shaking his head at the unweeded soil and making sure I noticed.I let his drama about the unwatered plants and unweeded soil go.Yesterday I just finished a 70 hour working week across 6 days in a row in a particularly stressful murder case where I have been called in the middle of the early hours of the morning to get into work asap, and I have been totally exhausted - physically and mentally - and just looking forward to my 3 days off work to just relax and get prepared for the next week of inevitable heavy work.Today he came over and basically ignored me and my girlfriend to make a point of digging the garden - then her mother rang and told us we need to take more responsibility. I pretty much lost it and stormed off. I earn significantly more than my girlfriend, and the only reason we can afford to live there and pay the bills etc is because I pay for pretty much everything out of my pay check - utilities, food bills, takeaways, holidays etc. It just got really under my skin that they would say that considering I basically make it a point to ensure the house is well taken care of and all the bills are paid.A few plants went unwatered for a day or two because I was working my ass off on a stressful case really late all week, and some soil went unweeded for the same reason.Am I being unreasonable here? To speak the truth I'm only living here as a favour to her family to take care of the place, and would be just as happy and financially better of living my folks. I suddenly feel really unwelcome in this house and genuinely don't know where this sudden bad attitude towards me has come from.To best honest I've always thought her dad a sulky and miserable arsehole who I have tolerated and humoured for her sake - never clashed with him and laughed and smiled at his lame jokes usually involving belittling someone else. I'm a pretty laid back and chilled out person for the record.Would appreciate some feedback, good or bad - I'm just totally out of ideas of what I've done wrong here. Thanks all!Tldr - Didn't water plants for 2 days because of heavy murder case at work - gf's dad decided to be an asshole to me about it, despite me paying and taking care of his second home we're living at rent free.