My roommate (20F) has her boyfriend (21M) over most of the time/sleeps over every night.

I’m on mobile, sorry.

So school obviously is online and students are home, but at my school they let a select number stay, and I happened to be one of them as well as my friend Jen. We got assigned to a new dorm so we moved into the new place together (in building A), her boyfriend Jason moved to a dorm in building B, and we have a roommate Nicole (neither of us knew her before so we don’t interact that much). Before we moved here, they made a rule that we couldn’t have visitors over. This rule is still in effect, and it includes students at the school and people who don’t go to the school. Basically, they just don’t want people together. His building is strictly a school building and our’s is combined with the public in an apartment complex. They (supposedly) have security guards at his building that make sure whoever is coming in actually lives there, so she told me he would be coming over sometimes. We don’t have security guards at our building.

So, he’s slept over every single freaking night in a row for the past 5-6 days. I’ve lost count. She moved her whole mattress into the living room (it’s a living room/kitchen with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Jen and I share a room technically and Nicole is by herself.) The mattress is in front of the dining table and sofa so I can’t use those things.

They cook often and leave little messes around. I am too afraid (gotta work on my confrontation skills) to basically just ask them to clean up after themselves. I’ve done their dishes and cleaned after them because I cannot stand living in a messy place. They didn’t thank me, obviously, and I think it’s because I didn’t really express discomfort with having to do it for them. They’ve also used some seasoning of mine which I let slide because it’s a big bottle.

The other day I texted her and basically asked how long she planned on having him over. I told her I didn’t like the idea of him sleeping over every night because it had been 4 in a row. I asked if she could limit it because sometimes he’s here ALL DAY (other days he’s not because he still has to go home to take his classes) and it’s just getting to be too much. I like him a lot - he’s a great guy, very funny and nice - but I think he’s overstayed his welcome.

She basically just said “well I’m still gonna have him over, he’s not here all day actually, I told you he’d be over because this is the only way we can hang out” etc. I understand. But he’s really not supposed to be coming over ANYWAYS, and I explained that I felt like it was safer that he limit how often he’s over because I do work still and I have 3 confirmed coworkers with COVID so I am exposed/I need to distance. Her reply to that was “that’s not my responsibility, it’s yours to be safe and sanitary and we don’t go anywhere so don’t worry about us.”

I dunno Reddit. He stayed the next two nights and now we’re at 5-6 or whatever. He was here this morning when I left to work, it’s 6pm now and he’s here. He has a whole toothbrush and hygiene supplies that belong to him here. I feel like I have a fourth roommate. Oh, and speaking of the other roommate, she hasn’t said anything and she doesn’t come out of her room ever and I believe it may be because he’s always here.

They will consistently sleep in til as late as 2pm and I don’t want to have to tiptoe around anymore. I have started being louder because it’s my house too, and it’s ridiculous, but I still at other times feel awkward leaving my room because I’m scared of walking in on something.

Should I be the asshole and snitch on them? Or ask them face to face? I really hate to be the mean person in this situation but I need to not feel so crowded. And I am so non-confrontational but so anxious and it’s driving me crazy. Thanks!

TL;DR - roommates bf has slept over 5-6 nights in a row, they leave mess and I clean up after them, I asked to limit the time they spent together and she basically said no sorry.

Submitted April 09, 2020 at 11:58PM

I’m on mobile, sorry.So school obviously is online and students are home, but at my school they let a select number stay, and I happened to be one of them as well as my friend Jen. We got assigned to a new dorm so we moved into the new place together (in building A), her boyfriend Jason moved to a dorm in building B, and we have a roommate Nicole (neither of us knew her before so we don’t interact that much). Before we moved here, they made a rule that we couldn’t have visitors over. This rule is still in effect, and it includes students at the school and people who don’t go to the school. Basically, they just don’t want people together. His building is strictly a school building and our’s is combined with the public in an apartment complex. They (supposedly) have security guards at his building that make sure whoever is coming in actually lives there, so she told me he would be coming over sometimes. We don’t have security guards at our building.So, he’s slept over every single freaking night in a row for the past 5-6 days. I’ve lost count. She moved her whole mattress into the living room (it’s a living room/kitchen with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Jen and I share a room technically and Nicole is by herself.) The mattress is in front of the dining table and sofa so I can’t use those things.They cook often and leave little messes around. I am too afraid (gotta work on my confrontation skills) to basically just ask them to clean up after themselves. I’ve done their dishes and cleaned after them because I cannot stand living in a messy place. They didn’t thank me, obviously, and I think it’s because I didn’t really express discomfort with having to do it for them. They’ve also used some seasoning of mine which I let slide because it’s a big bottle.The other day I texted her and basically asked how long she planned on having him over. I told her I didn’t like the idea of him sleeping over every night because it had been 4 in a row. I asked if she could limit it because sometimes he’s here ALL DAY (other days he’s not because he still has to go home to take his classes) and it’s just getting to be too much. I like him a lot - he’s a great guy, very funny and nice - but I think he’s overstayed his welcome.She basically just said “well I’m still gonna have him over, he’s not here all day actually, I told you he’d be over because this is the only way we can hang out” etc. I understand. But he’s really not supposed to be coming over ANYWAYS, and I explained that I felt like it was safer that he limit how often he’s over because I do work still and I have 3 confirmed coworkers with COVID so I am exposed/I need to distance. Her reply to that was “that’s not my responsibility, it’s yours to be safe and sanitary and we don’t go anywhere so don’t worry about us.”I dunno Reddit. He stayed the next two nights and now we’re at 5-6 or whatever. He was here this morning when I left to work, it’s 6pm now and he’s here. He has a whole toothbrush and hygiene supplies that belong to him here. I feel like I have a fourth roommate. Oh, and speaking of the other roommate, she hasn’t said anything and she doesn’t come out of her room ever and I believe it may be because he’s always here.They will consistently sleep in til as late as 2pm and I don’t want to have to tiptoe around anymore. I have started being louder because it’s my house too, and it’s ridiculous, but I still at other times feel awkward leaving my room because I’m scared of walking in on something.Should I be the asshole and snitch on them? Or ask them face to face? I really hate to be the mean person in this situation but I need to not feel so crowded. And I am so non-confrontational but so anxious and it’s driving me crazy. Thanks!TL;DR - roommates bf has slept over 5-6 nights in a row, they leave mess and I clean up after them, I asked to limit the time they spent together and she basically said no sorry.