I'm [21F] worried these might be dealbreakers for him [24M]

I dated him a few years ago but we reconnected last year before I went on study abroad and we had been texting a lot since I left. Maybe around 1-2 months ago he popped the question on a call and I said yes (to being his gf!)

I am faced with a couple of issues, which I worry they will snowball into something huge down the line...

I come from a conservative background (parents, culture) and different religion than my bf. My parents have only ever known about 1 boyfriend I had before when I was a teen. We weren't on speaking terms for a long time but slowly we started talking more. But I remember them being extremely extremely angry.

Very early in the "talking stage" between me and my bf, we were on the phone and my mom asked who I'm speaking to.. I told her I was speaking to one of my girl friends - my bf got annoyed and thought i was embarrassed of him or hiding him... I explained why and he is still trying to understand these things and doing his best which I appreciate. Sometimes leaves sly remarks like "tell your mom [my friends name] said hello" ...

I dont plan on telling them about him until a year or 2.. I have met his family over FaceTime (long distance). I assume that he would want to meet mine.. my sisters aren't too fond of him, but probably since they liked my ex a lot (in a friendly way, of course) and dont know him yet?

My first question is, is this a dealbreaker for guys? Not being able to meet their gf's family and being "hidden" for a long time? I know that if and when I tell them, my relationship with my parents and my family WILL go south very fast and it'll create a huge rift..

Secondly, Im a virgin and I plan to stay until marriage. My ex, who I was in love with, he was from the same background so he understood completely and held this same value. We were intimate in other ways, which I do not have too big of a problem with, but I remember we both would feel some guilt after engaging in anything sexual (though slowly we got more open to it with each other)

My boyfriend isn't a virgin, and although we haven't spoken about this clearly (it's too early and awkward to, I feel), I know that asking him to wait for me (until marriage), or turning it down might be a huge deal... of course I am assuming but is this something which would be considered a dealbreaker for men?

I do like him a lot, but I can't help but have these worries, that he will eventually decide to leave due to these reasons/values I hold, or ask me to make a decision I'm not ready to make.. that i'll have to choose between him or my family...

Thanks in advance!

​

TlDr; im from a conservative background (parents, culture) and diff religion than my bf. I know my parents wont be happy with the relationship.. they knew about 1bf in my teens and we didnt speak for a long time - they were extremely angry. I've met my bfs family and Im sure he'd like to meet mine, but I dont plan on telling them until a year or two as itll create a huge rift betw us... he is trying to be understanding but idk if this is a dealbreaker for men. Also due to my religious beliefs, im a virgin and plan to stay one until marriage. my bf is not and although we havent spoke about it, i assume most wouldn't be okay to "wait" until marriage... my ex and i used to be intimate sexually, although we never did have sex as he was from the same background and held the same values, so it was never a worry. Im just unsure of how guys think about things like this



Submitted April 09, 2020 at 11:50PM

I dated him a few years ago but we reconnected last year before I went on study abroad and we had been texting a lot since I left. Maybe around 1-2 months ago he popped the question on a call and I said yes (to being his gf!)I am faced with a couple of issues, which I worry they will snowball into something huge down the line...I come from a conservative background (parents, culture) and different religion than my bf. My parents have only ever known about 1 boyfriend I had before when I was a teen. We weren't on speaking terms for a long time but slowly we started talking more. But I remember them being extremely extremely angry.Very early in the "talking stage" between me and my bf, we were on the phone and my mom asked who I'm speaking to.. I told her I was speaking to one of my girl friends - my bf got annoyed and thought i was embarrassed of him or hiding him... I explained why and he is still trying to understand these things and doing his best which I appreciate. Sometimes leaves sly remarks like "tell your mom [my friends name] said hello" ...I dont plan on telling them about him until a year or 2.. I have met his family over FaceTime (long distance). I assume that he would want to meet mine.. my sisters aren't too fond of him, but probably since they liked my ex a lot (in a friendly way, of course) and dont know him yet?My first question is, is this a dealbreaker for guys? Not being able to meet their gf's family and being "hidden" for a long time? I know that if and when I tell them, my relationship with my parents and my family WILL go south very fast and it'll create a huge rift..Secondly, Im a virgin and I plan to stay until marriage. My ex, who I was in love with, he was from the same background so he understood completely and held this same value. We were intimate in other ways, which I do not have too big of a problem with, but I remember we both would feel some guilt after engaging in anything sexual (though slowly we got more open to it with each other)My boyfriend isn't a virgin, and although we haven't spoken about this clearly (it's too early and awkward to, I feel), I know that asking him to wait for me (until marriage), or turning it down might be a huge deal... of course I am assuming but is this something which would be considered a dealbreaker for men?I do like him a lot, but I can't help but have these worries, that he will eventually decide to leave due to these reasons/values I hold, or ask me to make a decision I'm not ready to make.. that i'll have to choose between him or my family...Thanks in advance!​TlDr; im from a conservative background (parents, culture) and diff religion than my bf. I know my parents wont be happy with the relationship.. they knew about 1bf in my teens and we didnt speak for a long time - they were extremely angry. I've met my bfs family and Im sure he'd like to meet mine, but I dont plan on telling them until a year or two as itll create a huge rift betw us... he is trying to be understanding but idk if this is a dealbreaker for men. Also due to my religious beliefs, im a virgin and plan to stay one until marriage. my bf is not and although we havent spoke about it, i assume most wouldn't be okay to "wait" until marriage... my ex and i used to be intimate sexually, although we never did have sex as he was from the same background and held the same values, so it was never a worry. Im just unsure of how guys think about things like this
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