First time meeting someone online after talking for 3.5 years

My(27f) and friend (36M) met online in 2016. I wasn’t really in a rush to meet someone .We met on a site (paid) dating app and have been talking since then. It was a platonic,friendly type of conversation. We never discussed about meeting or so. I didn’t give him my number right away. We talked via emails and it wasn’t like an everyday type of thing . It’s been going on like that for years. I really thought he wasn’t interested in me and just want to be friends...which was fine because we talk every one and then and just checked in how we’re doing . What I truly appreciate and like about this man is his kindness, thoughtfulness and he was there when I needed to talk to someone even at my lowest moments.

I have doubts about online dating just like everyone because anyone can turn around and say anything there and you can basically be someone you want to be . So, Meeting people wasn’t my concern. I went online to see possibilities . Maybe I can find someone Different ?compare to the guys I’ve been meeting in real life. Turned out...it’s just the same except online is safer and less pressure . There’s no physical contact and I don’t want to go on dates with random men only to find out we have nothing in common.

Fast forward (August 2019) he started showing interest and started talking about meeting. This time it’s more flirty and we’ve been talking daily. However , we’ve had disagreements. And I’m like this isn’t going to work and This didn’t happen before. We were already planning about meeting but had few issues which made me stop talking to him for several weeks...but he reached out and apologize . So, I told him it’s okay if we remain friends but I don’t see the point of talking daily and I don’t mind hearing something from him like how we used to . I said it’s okay if we talk every 3-4 months but no more than that . Can’t be romantically involved or be in a relationship...he didn’t agree and so I thought he’ll be gone forever ...Well after weeks of no talking . He finally reached out and I realize this man isn’t going anywhere. He waited enough...now I realize I need to see him. My gut is telling me...I should meet him. He lives out of state. I’m not worried about how is this going to work because we’ve known each other long enough and we talk about this. We will see each other once /twice a month . It’s only 2hrs flight. Every two weeks..with our schedule . I’m not looking for someone I can go out with every night because I work long hours and even if he lives locally . I won’t be able to see him .

TL;DR- What would you recommend?? Of course we aren’t going to meet until this virus settles down. I want to spend some time with him and perhaps meet somewhere doesn’t matter where .id like it to be out of state ? Not my state nor his state ? Instead of meeting for a dinner date or movies.



Submitted April 10, 2020 at 12:04AM

My(27f) and friend (36M) met online in 2016. I wasn’t really in a rush to meet someone .We met on a site (paid) dating app and have been talking since then. It was a platonic,friendly type of conversation. We never discussed about meeting or so. I didn’t give him my number right away. We talked via emails and it wasn’t like an everyday type of thing . It’s been going on like that for years. I really thought he wasn’t interested in me and just want to be friends...which was fine because we talk every one and then and just checked in how we’re doing . What I truly appreciate and like about this man is his kindness, thoughtfulness and he was there when I needed to talk to someone even at my lowest moments.I have doubts about online dating just like everyone because anyone can turn around and say anything there and you can basically be someone you want to be . So, Meeting people wasn’t my concern. I went online to see possibilities . Maybe I can find someone Different ?compare to the guys I’ve been meeting in real life. Turned out...it’s just the same except online is safer and less pressure . There’s no physical contact and I don’t want to go on dates with random men only to find out we have nothing in common.Fast forward (August 2019) he started showing interest and started talking about meeting. This time it’s more flirty and we’ve been talking daily. However , we’ve had disagreements. And I’m like this isn’t going to work and This didn’t happen before. We were already planning about meeting but had few issues which made me stop talking to him for several weeks...but he reached out and apologize . So, I told him it’s okay if we remain friends but I don’t see the point of talking daily and I don’t mind hearing something from him like how we used to . I said it’s okay if we talk every 3-4 months but no more than that . Can’t be romantically involved or be in a relationship...he didn’t agree and so I thought he’ll be gone forever ...Well after weeks of no talking . He finally reached out and I realize this man isn’t going anywhere. He waited enough...now I realize I need to see him. My gut is telling me...I should meet him. He lives out of state. I’m not worried about how is this going to work because we’ve known each other long enough and we talk about this. We will see each other once /twice a month . It’s only 2hrs flight. Every two weeks..with our schedule . I’m not looking for someone I can go out with every night because I work long hours and even if he lives locally . I won’t be able to see him .TL;DR- What would you recommend?? Of course we aren’t going to meet until this virus settles down. I want to spend some time with him and perhaps meet somewhere doesn’t matter where .id like it to be out of state ? Not my state nor his state ? Instead of meeting for a dinner date or movies.
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