Thinking waaayyy too hard about what to do here

So I (24m) met a girl (23f) while I was on a gig (I play trombone with a band) on 2/7. Normally I'm super nervous to approach women I find attractive so I was going about my business and packing up my horn for the night when she came up to me and started basically telling me her life story - from the sorority she was a part of in college to her life plans to how obsessed she is with planning stuff in her calendar. I liked how forward she was and she was also super funny and I was impressed with how organized and generally put together she was. Oh and she was so freakin' cute too. We hit it off pretty good and exchanged numbers but here's where the thinking too hard starts: I left for a trip to spain two days after we met. I gave her the ol' "hey if you wanna keep up with all my travelling adventures add me on snapchat" and she did. We managed to keep a streak going all while I was on vacation so it wasn't like we never spoke the whole time, it was just not super deep conversation (if any). We had a tentative date for last night very loosely planned for belated Valentine's day on Saturday (hibachi and my show later) but when I got back (Saturday morning) she said she had to cancel because of some assignments she forgot to finish for one of the classes she was taking. She said we could do next weekend or weeknights if that's easier and I suggested Monday/Wednesday but she didn't respond to that so we still haven't set a date in stone yet. Later that night she snapped me a video while I was driving and I had my phone in my pocket so I totally missed it - I sent her the sign for where I was playing and another saying I missed her video totally by accident. She saw both of those almost a whole day ago but hasn't said anything since.

The only reason I'm so worried about how this whole thing is going is that this is the first time I've been so excited about going on a date/getting to know someone better since my ex of 6 1/2 years broke up with me in July. I went on one date with a different girl in December but the chemistry we had was nowhere near as good as the girl I met recently. She seemed really into me (at one point she took my hand and said she liked me) and I don't want to come on super strong or mess it up in some other way. My biggest question is how should I go about setting up another day/time without scaring her off? I'm wound super tightly about this whole thing so any kind of reassurance/advice would be super awesome. Thanks!



Submitted February 17, 2020 at 12:21AM

So I (24m) met a girl (23f) while I was on a gig (I play trombone with a band) on 2/7. Normally I'm super nervous to approach women I find attractive so I was going about my business and packing up my horn for the night when she came up to me and started basically telling me her life story - from the sorority she was a part of in college to her life plans to how obsessed she is with planning stuff in her calendar. I liked how forward she was and she was also super funny and I was impressed with how organized and generally put together she was. Oh and she was so freakin' cute too. We hit it off pretty good and exchanged numbers but here's where the thinking too hard starts: I left for a trip to spain two days after we met. I gave her the ol' "hey if you wanna keep up with all my travelling adventures add me on snapchat" and she did. We managed to keep a streak going all while I was on vacation so it wasn't like we never spoke the whole time, it was just not super deep conversation (if any). We had a tentative date for last night very loosely planned for belated Valentine's day on Saturday (hibachi and my show later) but when I got back (Saturday morning) she said she had to cancel because of some assignments she forgot to finish for one of the classes she was taking. She said we could do next weekend or weeknights if that's easier and I suggested Monday/Wednesday but she didn't respond to that so we still haven't set a date in stone yet. Later that night she snapped me a video while I was driving and I had my phone in my pocket so I totally missed it - I sent her the sign for where I was playing and another saying I missed her video totally by accident. She saw both of those almost a whole day ago but hasn't said anything since.The only reason I'm so worried about how this whole thing is going is that this is the first time I've been so excited about going on a date/getting to know someone better since my ex of 6 1/2 years broke up with me in July. I went on one date with a different girl in December but the chemistry we had was nowhere near as good as the girl I met recently. She seemed really into me (at one point she took my hand and said she liked me) and I don't want to come on super strong or mess it up in some other way. My biggest question is how should I go about setting up another day/time without scaring her off? I'm wound super tightly about this whole thing so any kind of reassurance/advice would be super awesome. Thanks!
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