Advice on relationship/sexuality

So I have a question for you guys. My boyfriend told me he doesn’t think he’s capable of love and has never felt love before that wasn’t platonic. We have been dating for almost a year, and our relationship works really well. I enjoy being with him a lot and he enriches my life. Although I really think I do love him sometimes, it’s almost like - yes... I do love him because I love who he is. But I just learned about the sexuality “aromantic” and it made me think. Maybe I have never loved anyone before. The first time I “liked” a guy, I was in the eighth grade and everyone made fun of me because of people were starting to have sex at that point. (I’m 22 years old now) i even experimented with other women, thinking I was gay, because I didn’t feel “romantic” feelings towards men, but then I found out I didn’t towards women either. I like the idea of romance and sometimes I desire it but I don’t desire it as often as I feel a normal person does. I don’t want to spend all my time with anyone and I enjoy our separate lives. We only spend 1day/1night a week together. Two at the very most, ever so often, vs most couples I know spend everyday together and put each other before others in their life. I find when I am in that type of relationship I am very unhappy. (We are both artists, so we mark our own individuality at very important to the both of us) he also told me that he thinks he could possibly love me one day, and that he truly wants to be with me. My question is, could it be possible that we are both aromantic, and that’s why our relationship works so well? At the end of the day- all of the feelings are there and we love being “partners” as we call each other. And I’m not going to lie, at times I’ve wanted him to tell me that he loves me, but I feel like only for validating reasons. I think that we both do want to have a relationship with each other, but we just aren’t as “romantic” and “lovey” as our other friends who are dating. What do you guys think?

Submitted February 17, 2020 at 12:40AM

So I have a question for you guys. My boyfriend told me he doesn’t think he’s capable of love and has never felt love before that wasn’t platonic. We have been dating for almost a year, and our relationship works really well. I enjoy being with him a lot and he enriches my life. Although I really think I do love him sometimes, it’s almost like - yes... I do love him because I love who he is. But I just learned about the sexuality “aromantic” and it made me think. Maybe I have never loved anyone before. The first time I “liked” a guy, I was in the eighth grade and everyone made fun of me because of people were starting to have sex at that point. (I’m 22 years old now) i even experimented with other women, thinking I was gay, because I didn’t feel “romantic” feelings towards men, but then I found out I didn’t towards women either. I like the idea of romance and sometimes I desire it but I don’t desire it as often as I feel a normal person does. I don’t want to spend all my time with anyone and I enjoy our separate lives. We only spend 1day/1night a week together. Two at the very most, ever so often, vs most couples I know spend everyday together and put each other before others in their life. I find when I am in that type of relationship I am very unhappy. (We are both artists, so we mark our own individuality at very important to the both of us) he also told me that he thinks he could possibly love me one day, and that he truly wants to be with me. My question is, could it be possible that we are both aromantic, and that’s why our relationship works so well? At the end of the day- all of the feelings are there and we love being “partners” as we call each other. And I’m not going to lie, at times I’ve wanted him to tell me that he loves me, but I feel like only for validating reasons. I think that we both do want to have a relationship with each other, but we just aren’t as “romantic” and “lovey” as our other friends who are dating. What do you guys think?