The truth is that he doesn't like you enough, and THAT'S OK.

( I am a heterosexual woman so I used 'he', but you can replace it with anything )

Every time someone ghosted us, didn't want to commit, was flaky... we all wondered, why?

The answer is easy. He just doesn't like you enough.

We might go over every conversation, every interaction, every text, every red flag.

We ask ourselves "Did I do something wrong?" "Did he find someone better?"

Or maybe we blame them "He must have emotional problems" "He wasn't good enough for me, I am too good for him"

Yes you did something wrong, yes he found someone better, yes he must have emotional problems, yes he wasn't good enough for you and yes you are too good for him.

BUT ALL OF THIS IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Because unless you did something VERY wrong and unless he is seriously emotionally impaired (i.e. narcissist/sociopath), the only reason why he couldn't settle with you is that he didn't like you enough to get over all the obstacles.

Maybe you did say something that put him off. Does this mean you're bad, that you have to blame yourself forever? NO. Because when someone likes you ENOUGH, he gets past silly mistakes. He might not even see them.

Maybe he found someone better. So what? Maybe it's someone better FOR HIM. This doesn't mean you are not good. It just means that he didn't like you ENOUGH to stop looking.

Maybe he has emotional problems, but maybe he didn't like you ENOUGH to get over his problems with you.

Maybe he wasn't good enough for you, you were too good for him, or maybe he just didn't like you ENOUGH to show the best part of himself, or maybe you are trying to portrait him like a bad person and you like a good one because you can't accept that someone doesn't like you ENOUGH. Or as much as you like them.

And ALL OF THIS

IT'S OK.

​

Just because someone doesn't like us enough to pursue a relationship with us, it doesn't mean we are ugly, not interesting, not worthy of love. It just means that THAT PERSON DOESN'T LIKE US ENOUGH.

It's not your fault, it's not his fault.

How many times did you reject people because you didn't like them enough? Did you think bad about them? Does that make them ugly, disinteresting or not worthy of love? Maybe in your eyes, maybe. But NOT IN EVERYONE ELSE'S EYES.

It's ok if people don't like us, that DOESN'T DEFINE US as people as a whole. It just means sometimes people like us, sometimes they don't.

I'll end this by saying that this shouldn't be the end of questioning. BUT STOP FOCUSING ON THEM.

I think it's great to wonder what we did wrong because it allows growth.
I have understood that self-love is not thinking 'I am beautiful, I am amazing' but it is especially self-ACCEPTANCE.

Accept that you are not perfect, that you can make mistakes. Accept that those mistakes WEREN'T the end of the relationship ( unless again they are really bad or a pattern, then maybe you should work on it ) and BE COMPASSIONATE towards YOURSELF.
Accept that it's ok if you are crying over a guy who didn't like you enough. Accept that it's ok to be vulnerable and fall in love quickly even when the red flags were clear from the beginning.

When you accept all your flaws and give yourself a hug and think 'it's ok, I am human, it can happen, I shouldn't be embarrassed to want to fall in love', then it's when you love yourself, and then it's when you'll be happy to say

"Cool, he just didn't like me enough, and that's ok, and I don't need to find excuses to sugar coat it, because it's ok if people don't like me, because their taste doesn't define who I am and doesn't define them either'



Submitted February 11, 2020 at 12:15AM

( I am a heterosexual woman so I used 'he', but you can replace it with anything )Every time someone ghosted us, didn't want to commit, was flaky... we all wondered, why?The answer is easy. He just doesn't like you enough.We might go over every conversation, every interaction, every text, every red flag.We ask ourselves "Did I do something wrong?" "Did he find someone better?"Or maybe we blame them "He must have emotional problems" "He wasn't good enough for me, I am too good for him"Yes you did something wrong, yes he found someone better, yes he must have emotional problems, yes he wasn't good enough for you and yes you are too good for him.BUT ALL OF THIS IT DOESN'T MATTER.Because unless you did something VERY wrong and unless he is seriously emotionally impaired (i.e. narcissist/sociopath), the only reason why he couldn't settle with you is that he didn't like you enough to get over all the obstacles.Maybe you did say something that put him off. Does this mean you're bad, that you have to blame yourself forever? NO. Because when someone likes you ENOUGH, he gets past silly mistakes. He might not even see them.Maybe he found someone better. So what? Maybe it's someone better FOR HIM. This doesn't mean you are not good. It just means that he didn't like you ENOUGH to stop looking.Maybe he has emotional problems, but maybe he didn't like you ENOUGH to get over his problems with you.Maybe he wasn't good enough for you, you were too good for him, or maybe he just didn't like you ENOUGH to show the best part of himself, or maybe you are trying to portrait him like a bad person and you like a good one because you can't accept that someone doesn't like you ENOUGH. Or as much as you like them.And ALL OF THISIT'S OK.​Just because someone doesn't like us enough to pursue a relationship with us, it doesn't mean we are ugly, not interesting, not worthy of love. It just means that THAT PERSON DOESN'T LIKE US ENOUGH.It's not your fault, it's not his fault.How many times did you reject people because you didn't like them enough? Did you think bad about them? Does that make them ugly, disinteresting or not worthy of love? Maybe in your eyes, maybe. But NOT IN EVERYONE ELSE'S EYES.It's ok if people don't like us, that DOESN'T DEFINE US as people as a whole. It just means sometimes people like us, sometimes they don't.I'll end this by saying that this shouldn't be the end of questioning. BUT STOP FOCUSING ON THEM.I think it's great to wonder what we did wrong because it allows growth.I have understood that self-love is not thinking 'I am beautiful, I am amazing' but it is especially self-ACCEPTANCE.Accept that you are not perfect, that you can make mistakes. Accept that those mistakes WEREN'T the end of the relationship ( unless again they are really bad or a pattern, then maybe you should work on it ) and BE COMPASSIONATE towards YOURSELF.Accept that it's ok if you are crying over a guy who didn't like you enough. Accept that it's ok to be vulnerable and fall in love quickly even when the red flags were clear from the beginning.When you accept all your flaws and give yourself a hug and think 'it's ok, I am human, it can happen, I shouldn't be embarrassed to want to fall in love', then it's when you love yourself, and then it's when you'll be happy to say"Cool, he just didn't like me enough, and that's ok, and I don't need to find excuses to sugar coat it, because it's ok if people don't like me, because their taste doesn't define who I am and doesn't define them either'
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