I get quiet as cemetery during sex. Are my friends right that I just need to find a man who can make me scream?

And does such a person even exist?

Honestly, I'm just naturally a very quiet and subdued person, it's not that I'm not passionate or that my voice is soft in fact my voice is surprisingly deep for a woman my size, I don't dislike (it's great for jazz standards!) but I don't sound like a porn star and honestly, the fake porny lady screams turn me off a little bit, hypocritically I do like when male porn stars moan even if I am aware their fake.

I suffer from the common ill 'been masturbating at home silently for the past almost decade' and when I finally did have sex with someone, it didn't spontaneously make me loud. I didn't have a problem with expressing some discomfort ('please move, I don't like that' 'that's not the right hole') or when I needed lube, but I never felt like saying anything, the idea of me dirty talking causes me cringe, I just don't think I sound sexy even tho I wish I did sometimes. It didn't help that my ex was like me, we were both quiet and it made sex frankly boring.

The most sound I made was a slight grunting, exhale sorta thing when he got a bit rough, when it was a little painful bit not the bad kind of pain. I've always had a very mild sadomasochist streak, some of the porn and erotica I've enjoyed have a pain or discomfort element to them, and even tho I feel a little guilty, it gets me off. But I've always felt like too much of a pussy to pursue it further, my pain freshold isn't that high.

But the idea of being with someone who can force the sound out of me is in all honesty very hot, it's funny but frustrating because I think my friends imagine something entirely different when they imagine a man who can make them scream, buuut they don't have to know that.

I'm just afraid of being a dissapointment to myself and a future partner if it turns out I can't really scream during the act. Is it really a good idea to answer someones' "you need to be more vocal" with a "make me", when you're not sure if that's possible? Is it a recipe for insecurity?



Submitted February 10, 2020 at 11:55PM

And does such a person even exist?Honestly, I'm just naturally a very quiet and subdued person, it's not that I'm not passionate or that my voice is soft in fact my voice is surprisingly deep for a woman my size, I don't dislike (it's great for jazz standards!) but I don't sound like a porn star and honestly, the fake porny lady screams turn me off a little bit, hypocritically I do like when male porn stars moan even if I am aware their fake.I suffer from the common ill 'been masturbating at home silently for the past almost decade' and when I finally did have sex with someone, it didn't spontaneously make me loud. I didn't have a problem with expressing some discomfort ('please move, I don't like that' 'that's not the right hole') or when I needed lube, but I never felt like saying anything, the idea of me dirty talking causes me cringe, I just don't think I sound sexy even tho I wish I did sometimes. It didn't help that my ex was like me, we were both quiet and it made sex frankly boring.The most sound I made was a slight grunting, exhale sorta thing when he got a bit rough, when it was a little painful bit not the bad kind of pain. I've always had a very mild sadomasochist streak, some of the porn and erotica I've enjoyed have a pain or discomfort element to them, and even tho I feel a little guilty, it gets me off. But I've always felt like too much of a pussy to pursue it further, my pain freshold isn't that high.But the idea of being with someone who can force the sound out of me is in all honesty very hot, it's funny but frustrating because I think my friends imagine something entirely different when they imagine a man who can make them scream, buuut they don't have to know that.I'm just afraid of being a dissapointment to myself and a future partner if it turns out I can't really scream during the act. Is it really a good idea to answer someones' "you need to be more vocal" with a "make me", when you're not sure if that's possible? Is it a recipe for insecurity?
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