My (25M) ex (22F) expressed she hates me and blocked me on everything.

TLDR; Girlfriend of 5 and a half year now hates me.

Hey, So i rly F****d up. My ex and i broke up in late August 2019 and werent talking for a month, we still lived together though. after that we started talking again. even got romantic on and off. We stayed in touch via social media and mutual friends (we are in the same core group of friends). We moved away from each other in december but stayed in touch over social media. She said prior to new years eve that we should only remain as friends and thats all she wanted.

We both went to a new years party and everything was great and we had a lot of fun. Later that night i got awfully drunk and thought she had left the party, ( she came back ). Everyone at the party was close friends btw. So its 5am, im drunk out of my mind i go to my friends room to pass out. my ex was there aswell, I didn't want to bother her so i lay down next to my friends who happens to be one of her best girl friends. Out of nowhere (atleast in my head) her friend turns around and kisses me, I kiss her back, for 1 second- then i freak out a bit and leave the room for a minute or two. then i go back to go to sleep and it happens again. My ex is full on furious at this point. she leaves the room and locks herself in the bathroom and is mad af and crying (fully understandale tho). I was so drunk i didnt realise what was going on. I tried to talk to her and tried to explain to her over text that she kissed me and stopped it. she was firing away at me that she was sleeping ( which i can't understand when she kissed me) and that im an the biggest dickedhead alive. I tried to apoligise but she wouldnt have it.

The next day, I told everything to her best friend aka the girl who kissed me who was apperantly drunk aswell and didnt remember this. I also sent my ex another apology over. she was obviously still furious, she told me to leave the apartment where we all were and to stay away from her best friend. ( i would never try anything with this girl, as she is only a friend etc). Then my ex started threatening me with destroying everything i own, and then she blocked me from everything (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook) not phone tho. Ex later talked with her friend on the phone for an hour, and now none is talking to me like i was the only culprit. That im aware of she was the one who kissed me but I think my ex saw it differntly and told her that it wasnt as I said. now my ex as deleted all pictures of us and the last 5 years and she said she deleted all our chats etc and never wants to hear my name or see my face again.

I later that day sent a sincere apology for my behviour during and after the episode. She replied later that night. "This makes me extremly sad. I really cared for you and thought last night was so great, just talking, laughing and playing games. I was so happy that it seemed like we could actually be friends and still hang out. Sad that it had to end this way"

We had a really special bond during the relationship and somewhat special after. I thought she didnt have any feelings for me.

What am I going to do?, I understand that she is upset but does she really have to "delete me from her life and all the memories we shared". Is there a way I can make this right?

Submitted January 02, 2020 at 11:53PM

TLDR; Girlfriend of 5 and a half year now hates me.Hey, So i rly F****d up. My ex and i broke up in late August 2019 and werent talking for a month, we still lived together though. after that we started talking again. even got romantic on and off. We stayed in touch via social media and mutual friends (we are in the same core group of friends). We moved away from each other in december but stayed in touch over social media. She said prior to new years eve that we should only remain as friends and thats all she wanted.We both went to a new years party and everything was great and we had a lot of fun. Later that night i got awfully drunk and thought she had left the party, ( she came back ). Everyone at the party was close friends btw. So its 5am, im drunk out of my mind i go to my friends room to pass out. my ex was there aswell, I didn't want to bother her so i lay down next to my friends who happens to be one of her best girl friends. Out of nowhere (atleast in my head) her friend turns around and kisses me, I kiss her back, for 1 second- then i freak out a bit and leave the room for a minute or two. then i go back to go to sleep and it happens again. My ex is full on furious at this point. she leaves the room and locks herself in the bathroom and is mad af and crying (fully understandale tho). I was so drunk i didnt realise what was going on. I tried to talk to her and tried to explain to her over text that she kissed me and stopped it. she was firing away at me that she was sleeping ( which i can't understand when she kissed me) and that im an the biggest dickedhead alive. I tried to apoligise but she wouldnt have it.The next day, I told everything to her best friend aka the girl who kissed me who was apperantly drunk aswell and didnt remember this. I also sent my ex another apology over. she was obviously still furious, she told me to leave the apartment where we all were and to stay away from her best friend. ( i would never try anything with this girl, as she is only a friend etc). Then my ex started threatening me with destroying everything i own, and then she blocked me from everything (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook) not phone tho. Ex later talked with her friend on the phone for an hour, and now none is talking to me like i was the only culprit. That im aware of she was the one who kissed me but I think my ex saw it differntly and told her that it wasnt as I said. now my ex as deleted all pictures of us and the last 5 years and she said she deleted all our chats etc and never wants to hear my name or see my face again.I later that day sent a sincere apology for my behviour during and after the episode. She replied later that night. "This makes me extremly sad. I really cared for you and thought last night was so great, just talking, laughing and playing games. I was so happy that it seemed like we could actually be friends and still hang out. Sad that it had to end this way"We had a really special bond during the relationship and somewhat special after. I thought she didnt have any feelings for me.What am I going to do?, I understand that she is upset but does she really have to "delete me from her life and all the memories we shared". Is there a way I can make this right?