A surprise first date. Needing some advice.

Background: I’m a 23F, he’s a 28M. met online. We FaceTimed three times. both have a lot of commonalities and I thought he has a lot of potential. We got a long great!

He messages me he has the first date planned out and it’s a surprise.

Now that pisses me off and scares me. I also told him I had been sexually assaulted prior and to take it slow if we meet up.

I explain my concerns to him and how I am a planner and I actually hate surprises and he goes “yeah me too.” 😶 and quickly follows up with “but this isn’t a surprise for me because I’m in the know.”

I just find the whole thing inconsiderate and part of me wants to cancel the whole date in its entirety or I wonder if it’s my PTSD and trust. I haven’t dated anyone since highschool so I wonder if it’s fear also. Opinions?



Submitted January 30, 2020 at 12:05AM

Background: I’m a 23F, he’s a 28M. met online. We FaceTimed three times. both have a lot of commonalities and I thought he has a lot of potential. We got a long great!He messages me he has the first date planned out and it’s a surprise.Now that pisses me off and scares me. I also told him I had been sexually assaulted prior and to take it slow if we meet up.I explain my concerns to him and how I am a planner and I actually hate surprises and he goes “yeah me too.” 😶 and quickly follows up with “but this isn’t a surprise for me because I’m in the know.”I just find the whole thing inconsiderate and part of me wants to cancel the whole date in its entirety or I wonder if it’s my PTSD and trust. I haven’t dated anyone since highschool so I wonder if it’s fear also. Opinions?
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