My [36/F] boyfriend [34/M] doesn't communicate between seeing each other and it's causing me anxiety.

I have talked to him about this, but it's just how he is (he's like this with everyone), he has a busy life and I suspect he has issues with executive dysfunction as he seems to lose track of time. We also currently only see each other once a week, often it's only when I prompt him (although I'm the type of person who likes to know plans in advance so maybe he'd get around to arranging things if I didn't contact him first).

I'm used to partners who message all the time, it doesn't have to be a 24/7 conversation but just chatting throughout the day or sending odd messages - it makes me feel like I'm part of their lives, and helps me get to know them better.

As it is with my current boyfriend (7 months) I feel like I'm not part of his life, it feels like I'm still single in a way because of this lack of contact.

When we're together it's fine, he shows me he cares and of anything he may be more into me than the other way around - he lead the way in making us official, introducing me to people in his life, we've not said the 'L' word yet but he's slipped up and said it during conversations.

This causes me problems because it makes me insecure, without regular contact I get anxious about plans and get anxious not having any sort of validation from him that he's thinking about me etc. I worry that this is more my problem, because I shouldn't need this sort of validation and maybe have a warped idea of relationships from my past relationships. He's busy but I'm not so plans are made around his routine, so it's hard to tell if he'd still expect me to be available when he wants if I was the one who was more busy, you know? It's also a problem because some would say that 'he's not that into you' etc. based on this issue so I keep questioning our relationship.

TL;DR Boyfriend doesn't get in touch between seeing each other in person, I don't know what's normal or not in regards to this and so I'm anxious or always second guessing things.

Submitted December 17, 2019 at 12:16AM

I have talked to him about this, but it's just how he is (he's like this with everyone), he has a busy life and I suspect he has issues with executive dysfunction as he seems to lose track of time. We also currently only see each other once a week, often it's only when I prompt him (although I'm the type of person who likes to know plans in advance so maybe he'd get around to arranging things if I didn't contact him first).I'm used to partners who message all the time, it doesn't have to be a 24/7 conversation but just chatting throughout the day or sending odd messages - it makes me feel like I'm part of their lives, and helps me get to know them better.As it is with my current boyfriend (7 months) I feel like I'm not part of his life, it feels like I'm still single in a way because of this lack of contact.When we're together it's fine, he shows me he cares and of anything he may be more into me than the other way around - he lead the way in making us official, introducing me to people in his life, we've not said the 'L' word yet but he's slipped up and said it during conversations.This causes me problems because it makes me insecure, without regular contact I get anxious about plans and get anxious not having any sort of validation from him that he's thinking about me etc. I worry that this is more my problem, because I shouldn't need this sort of validation and maybe have a warped idea of relationships from my past relationships. He's busy but I'm not so plans are made around his routine, so it's hard to tell if he'd still expect me to be available when he wants if I was the one who was more busy, you know? It's also a problem because some would say that 'he's not that into you' etc. based on this issue so I keep questioning our relationship.TL;DR Boyfriend doesn't get in touch between seeing each other in person, I don't know what's normal or not in regards to this and so I'm anxious or always second guessing things.