Am I Missing Something?

So, I'm really new to this thread, but I've been wrestling with this question for months...

I'm a cishet dude in my late 20's.

I'm confused by something that's been happening to me for awhile.

I would love to hear some female opinions on this...

I've been trying to "put myself out there" more since recovering from a deep heartbreak several months ago.

Since it's almost 2020, I figured that I would give dating apps a try. News flash, they're still horrible!

I'm looking to build a mutual friendship that (hopefully) leads to marriage and eventual family, while maintaining my values and personal faith (no FWB or one-night-stands).

Once I get past the hurdle of "matching" with someone, I either get "ghosted" or have the woman decline to chat on the phone (After a back and forth mutual conversation in text of some length, for at least 48 hours, but usually more like a week.), and then they disappear for good, without a trace.

What are some reasons that a woman wouldn't want to chat (voice only) over the phone with someone they seem to have chemistry with?

What can I do to change this?

Conversation and connection are very important to me, (and to most of my female friends) so I would love to know what I am missing!

The conversation is usually strong, with mutual interest and questions back and forth (I'm an author, so this comes really easy for me).

I totally understand not wanting to talk to someone who won't answer messages, is rude, or who asks for nudes or something. I'm not talking about that.

It's just confusing for me, that's all. I understand that each woman has different experience with this, so I thank you in advance for your feedback!

Sincerely, Heartbroken in Not-Hoboken

TLDR: I'd love to know why a woman doesn't want to chat on the phone (voice only) after there seems to be chemistry.



Submitted December 17, 2019 at 12:09AM

So, I'm really new to this thread, but I've been wrestling with this question for months...I'm a cishet dude in my late 20's.I'm confused by something that's been happening to me for awhile.I would love to hear some female opinions on this...I've been trying to "put myself out there" more since recovering from a deep heartbreak several months ago.Since it's almost 2020, I figured that I would give dating apps a try. News flash, they're still horrible!I'm looking to build a mutual friendship that (hopefully) leads to marriage and eventual family, while maintaining my values and personal faith (no FWB or one-night-stands).Once I get past the hurdle of "matching" with someone, I either get "ghosted" or have the woman decline to chat on the phone (After a back and forth mutual conversation in text of some length, for at least 48 hours, but usually more like a week.), and then they disappear for good, without a trace.What are some reasons that a woman wouldn't want to chat (voice only) over the phone with someone they seem to have chemistry with?What can I do to change this?Conversation and connection are very important to me, (and to most of my female friends) so I would love to know what I am missing!The conversation is usually strong, with mutual interest and questions back and forth (I'm an author, so this comes really easy for me).I totally understand not wanting to talk to someone who won't answer messages, is rude, or who asks for nudes or something. I'm not talking about that.It's just confusing for me, that's all. I understand that each woman has different experience with this, so I thank you in advance for your feedback!Sincerely, Heartbroken in Not-HobokenTLDR: I'd love to know why a woman doesn't want to chat on the phone (voice only) after there seems to be chemistry.
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