A girl backed out of talking to me (27M) because of another guy she was also talking to, I don't know how to process it.

Quick background, I lost my V card late, this year to be exact, up till summer 2018 i had been fighting OCD and Anxiety disorder. After the correct medication though and therapy, I jumped into dating, tinder and approaching hardcore. To make up for lost time.

I've got dozens and dozens of numbers at this rate, been on about five actual dates with different girls and slept with two. Really is a numbers game it seems.

Alot of the frustrations of dating are still very raw to me, but at this point I'm pretty immune to most stuff.

Girl says no/not interested: Fine

Are not looking for anything: Fine

Like someone else/my friend/wingman: Fine

Have a bf/gf/husband/wife: Fine

But there's one scenario that I still can't process peacefully, even though it would be better to be able to. That's when I've met someone, we like eachother, we agree to a date, but before anything has even happened, they say there was someone else and they are now together.

It's happened four times now, the bittersweet thing is that with all four girls there was spoonfuls of chemistry. They all returned text messages promptly and put effort into convo, they all gave of a sincerely good person vibe.

So I guess I'm trying to ask how to swallow this particular pill?

I know I could possibly be in the wrong here, but I just can't deal with not getting the chance to qualify/prove myself/show what I have to offer, before being written off.

Take in mind, I'm talking about when a girl has exchanged numbers and agreed to a date, at that point, if they choose someone else..

How am I supposed to not feel sad/disappointed when there was chemistry and potential there? and I didn't get a chance to see it play out?.

I even said to this girl today that

"If you two are exclusive, then I totally get not wanting to continue, but if you arent yet, we shouldn't write this off, before anything has happened"

She said

"We aren't exclusive yet but I feel like we can be and i don't want to risk that, sorry"

Again, I can't be angry at this girl, i just wished her luck but I'm also just sad and disappointed.

I need advice from someone who has been in the dating pool for more than 18 months.

Because I'm upset and I don't know if I'm even justified or not.



Submitted December 16, 2019 at 11:48PM

Quick background, I lost my V card late, this year to be exact, up till summer 2018 i had been fighting OCD and Anxiety disorder. After the correct medication though and therapy, I jumped into dating, tinder and approaching hardcore. To make up for lost time.I've got dozens and dozens of numbers at this rate, been on about five actual dates with different girls and slept with two. Really is a numbers game it seems.Alot of the frustrations of dating are still very raw to me, but at this point I'm pretty immune to most stuff.Girl says no/not interested: FineAre not looking for anything: FineLike someone else/my friend/wingman: FineHave a bf/gf/husband/wife: FineBut there's one scenario that I still can't process peacefully, even though it would be better to be able to. That's when I've met someone, we like eachother, we agree to a date, but before anything has even happened, they say there was someone else and they are now together.It's happened four times now, the bittersweet thing is that with all four girls there was spoonfuls of chemistry. They all returned text messages promptly and put effort into convo, they all gave of a sincerely good person vibe.So I guess I'm trying to ask how to swallow this particular pill?I know I could possibly be in the wrong here, but I just can't deal with not getting the chance to qualify/prove myself/show what I have to offer, before being written off.Take in mind, I'm talking about when a girl has exchanged numbers and agreed to a date, at that point, if they choose someone else..How am I supposed to not feel sad/disappointed when there was chemistry and potential there? and I didn't get a chance to see it play out?.I even said to this girl today that"If you two are exclusive, then I totally get not wanting to continue, but if you arent yet, we shouldn't write this off, before anything has happened"She said"We aren't exclusive yet but I feel like we can be and i don't want to risk that, sorry"Again, I can't be angry at this girl, i just wished her luck but I'm also just sad and disappointed.I need advice from someone who has been in the dating pool for more than 18 months.Because I'm upset and I don't know if I'm even justified or not.
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