my (17F) brother (13M) is going down a dark path. don’t know what to do.

(disclaimer: i am not against the use of weed or nicotine, it just so happens that my 13 year old brother is using them and it’s visibly deteriorating him.)

my brother is 13, is 6’1 weighs around 200 pounds (also plays football) - he smokes pot every day, vapes, drinks, self-harms and has run away from home on several occasions. he is very aggressive and verbal. if he were older, it would be easier to help him out or understand what to do, but he is so so so young. our parents are separated, he doesn’t respect my mom’s boyfriend (he is a bit of a dick but never abusive) and he’s currently living with my mom. she is heartbroken and has admitted to being suicidal. whenever my brother does anything inappropriate, i never hear the end of it. it kills my motivation and my passion for life knowing that my kid brother is wasting his away.

i don’t know what to do. we try to talk to him kindly, understand him and make him feel welcome in either my mom or dad’s home, and it ends up in increased stupid behaviour. he uses it to his advantage and does shit behind our backs. if we express any anger towards him, he blows up. screams. yells. breaks things. runs away. i’m afraid we’re going to lose him if nothing changes. he also stole approx. $100 worth of alcohol from my mom’s house a few weeks ago and proceeded to run away after my mom calmly asked about it.

i have no idea what to do. i’m home alone with him right now and caught him smoking on the balcony and got really upset. he blew up. i try not to “snitch” on him, but i’m not sure what is right or wrong. my parents don’t know he vapes or smokes this much. i know a lot that they don’t know.

what the hell should i do? is it my responsibility to assist with this? not to be rude, but advice like “just listen to him”, “take away his shit” or “don’t get angry” will not help. we have tried everything.

btw we live in ontario, canada. not sure if that helps at all but resources would possibly be appreciated.

TL;DR: my 13 year old brother is a heavy pot, alcohol and vape user. he has run away multiple times and is very aggressive and verbal. i don’y know what to do. i can’t explain it all here.



Submitted December 29, 2019 at 12:17AM

(disclaimer: i am not against the use of weed or nicotine, it just so happens that my 13 year old brother is using them and it’s visibly deteriorating him.)my brother is 13, is 6’1 weighs around 200 pounds (also plays football) - he smokes pot every day, vapes, drinks, self-harms and has run away from home on several occasions. he is very aggressive and verbal. if he were older, it would be easier to help him out or understand what to do, but he is so so so young. our parents are separated, he doesn’t respect my mom’s boyfriend (he is a bit of a dick but never abusive) and he’s currently living with my mom. she is heartbroken and has admitted to being suicidal. whenever my brother does anything inappropriate, i never hear the end of it. it kills my motivation and my passion for life knowing that my kid brother is wasting his away.i don’t know what to do. we try to talk to him kindly, understand him and make him feel welcome in either my mom or dad’s home, and it ends up in increased stupid behaviour. he uses it to his advantage and does shit behind our backs. if we express any anger towards him, he blows up. screams. yells. breaks things. runs away. i’m afraid we’re going to lose him if nothing changes. he also stole approx. $100 worth of alcohol from my mom’s house a few weeks ago and proceeded to run away after my mom calmly asked about it.i have no idea what to do. i’m home alone with him right now and caught him smoking on the balcony and got really upset. he blew up. i try not to “snitch” on him, but i’m not sure what is right or wrong. my parents don’t know he vapes or smokes this much. i know a lot that they don’t know.what the hell should i do? is it my responsibility to assist with this? not to be rude, but advice like “just listen to him”, “take away his shit” or “don’t get angry” will not help. we have tried everything.btw we live in ontario, canada. not sure if that helps at all but resources would possibly be appreciated.TL;DR: my 13 year old brother is a heavy pot, alcohol and vape user. he has run away multiple times and is very aggressive and verbal. i don’y know what to do. i can’t explain it all here.
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