BF cannot stop belittling me when playing games together

My boyfriend [23] & I [22] have been together for almost 2 years. We’ve met through tinder (yes you can find love there trust me) & we really connected through this game called league of legends (aka lol). We’ve found that we both had the same interests in this game & we both started playing together often.

Recently we both have started playing more lol & when we do we always play with each other. Like any games, this game has a streak of making people get very emotional as it’s a competitive game & can make some ppl toxic. Again it’s just like any other game you see out there that can bring the worst out of a person (ie fortnite, cod, overwatch, etc). My boyfriend has been lashing out in games & recently I have been the one getting the baggage. We’re both gold (I’m gold 4 & he’s gold 3) & he has a lot more experience playing that game as he played it way before i did. Because of that he’s been very verbally aggressive with me through this game. He always calls me “dogshit”, that I’m so bad at this game, & that it’s because I lost to all our teammates. It always hurts me when he does this & I start crying. He would even say things to me in game & my other teammates would follow his steps. These teammates I get say things that will try to get me to have a breakdown. When we finish a match & go back to lobby we start arguing. I’ll admit I let this game get over my head too & I sometimes lash out but I have been controlling it as my boyfriend says it’s not a good thing to do. But I really do think he’s being hypocritical & whenever I tell him to stop he just tells me no because it was my fault that we lost. I have told him multiple times that I do not like this behavior & that it’s not okay for him to act this cold to me when we play together & then when we hang out he acts like nothing happened. He would apologize to me but I always tell him I do not forgive him because I know he’s going to do it again.

What hurts me the most is that he lets other ppl shame me too after he’s threw flaming me. I just sit there & cry while playing. He knows that I have severe depression (to the point where I have attempted suicide), anxiety, & low self confidence. Yet idk why he thinks it’s okay to treat me like this while we’re playing the game. When we don’t do bad during games he doesn’t lash out, also when we are together he is the type of guy that you just can’t help but love. I know he can become a better person but idk what to do anymore. I even considered ending it with him because it feels like the more he belittles me, the more I just wanna cut him off. I obviously love him but how do I embed it in his head that it may be too late to save our relationship if he keeps this up?

TL;DR: When I don’t do well, BF cannot stop belittling me when we play a certain game together. Which has gotten bad to the point where my teammates also target me & I get no help. What do I do?

Submitted December 29, 2019 at 12:04AM

My boyfriend [23] & I [22] have been together for almost 2 years. We’ve met through tinder (yes you can find love there trust me) & we really connected through this game called league of legends (aka lol). We’ve found that we both had the same interests in this game & we both started playing together often.Recently we both have started playing more lol & when we do we always play with each other. Like any games, this game has a streak of making people get very emotional as it’s a competitive game & can make some ppl toxic. Again it’s just like any other game you see out there that can bring the worst out of a person (ie fortnite, cod, overwatch, etc). My boyfriend has been lashing out in games & recently I have been the one getting the baggage. We’re both gold (I’m gold 4 & he’s gold 3) & he has a lot more experience playing that game as he played it way before i did. Because of that he’s been very verbally aggressive with me through this game. He always calls me “dogshit”, that I’m so bad at this game, & that it’s because I lost to all our teammates. It always hurts me when he does this & I start crying. He would even say things to me in game & my other teammates would follow his steps. These teammates I get say things that will try to get me to have a breakdown. When we finish a match & go back to lobby we start arguing. I’ll admit I let this game get over my head too & I sometimes lash out but I have been controlling it as my boyfriend says it’s not a good thing to do. But I really do think he’s being hypocritical & whenever I tell him to stop he just tells me no because it was my fault that we lost. I have told him multiple times that I do not like this behavior & that it’s not okay for him to act this cold to me when we play together & then when we hang out he acts like nothing happened. He would apologize to me but I always tell him I do not forgive him because I know he’s going to do it again.What hurts me the most is that he lets other ppl shame me too after he’s threw flaming me. I just sit there & cry while playing. He knows that I have severe depression (to the point where I have attempted suicide), anxiety, & low self confidence. Yet idk why he thinks it’s okay to treat me like this while we’re playing the game. When we don’t do bad during games he doesn’t lash out, also when we are together he is the type of guy that you just can’t help but love. I know he can become a better person but idk what to do anymore. I even considered ending it with him because it feels like the more he belittles me, the more I just wanna cut him off. I obviously love him but how do I embed it in his head that it may be too late to save our relationship if he keeps this up?TL;DR: When I don’t do well, BF cannot stop belittling me when we play a certain game together. Which has gotten bad to the point where my teammates also target me & I get no help. What do I do?