How to navigate getting to know someone with a rough past?

I’ve been texting this guy for a few weeks and I’m really starting to like him. I haven’t met him in person yet, but he went to high school with my best friend who said he was kind of wild, but nothing too bad. She said she really liked hanging out with him.

So from what I’ve gathered, he’s had a really rough life. His mom used to be an alcoholic, he was homeless at one point, he’s dated some insane girls, he’s been abused, taken advantage of etc...and I just found out he was adopted and he said his bio cousin and bio brother are literal, clinical psychopaths.

I really like this guy and think he’s really sweet. I don’t want to pry and make him tell me his life story so I can properly psychoanalyze him, but I’m also kind of worried going in somewhat blind. I’m driving to their (him and my friends) city for New Years so I’ll meet him this week.

Any advice?

Please don’t tell me to run. I’ve dated other guys that had problems/dealt with abuse that weren’t abusive/insane at all. I don’t mind putting in a little extra emotional labor.



Submitted December 29, 2019 at 12:25AM

I’ve been texting this guy for a few weeks and I’m really starting to like him. I haven’t met him in person yet, but he went to high school with my best friend who said he was kind of wild, but nothing too bad. She said she really liked hanging out with him.So from what I’ve gathered, he’s had a really rough life. His mom used to be an alcoholic, he was homeless at one point, he’s dated some insane girls, he’s been abused, taken advantage of etc...and I just found out he was adopted and he said his bio cousin and bio brother are literal, clinical psychopaths.I really like this guy and think he’s really sweet. I don’t want to pry and make him tell me his life story so I can properly psychoanalyze him, but I’m also kind of worried going in somewhat blind. I’m driving to their (him and my friends) city for New Years so I’ll meet him this week.Any advice?Please don’t tell me to run. I’ve dated other guys that had problems/dealt with abuse that weren’t abusive/insane at all. I don’t mind putting in a little extra emotional labor.
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