Am I (31M) selfish for ending our (34F) friendship

TL;DR :End friendship with girl of my dreams because she got a boyfriend. Am I wrong?

Our relationship started sexual. It grew into a beautiful long distance friendship despite all odds. I tried dating her but She told me She wasn't ready for a relationship despite previously wanting me to relocate and us trying to have a child together. She ask me to come visit her again for the fifth time because every other month we would go on trips together and hook up (cruises, flights, etc). The day before my flight she said “her boyfriend don’t like the idea of me staying with her which is understandable but I didn’t even know she got a boyfriend in the 3-4 weeks of her asking me to come see he and that she decided to tell me about it the day before I arrived. I had a great time on my trip. I respected her relationship despite seeing her with her new love of her life especially knowing that how we used to be. I decided to distance myself and emotions. Am I selfish for protecting my heart and not wanting to interact with her no more. I don’t wanna just ghost her. I tried to be just friends but I realized I can’t just be friends with her. I want the best for her but I don’t know what to do anymore. Ps: we were actually great friends and offered each other great advice but I think I was just fooling myself for the opportunity to date her.



Submitted December 29, 2019 at 12:05AM

TL;DR :End friendship with girl of my dreams because she got a boyfriend. Am I wrong?Our relationship started sexual. It grew into a beautiful long distance friendship despite all odds. I tried dating her but She told me She wasn't ready for a relationship despite previously wanting me to relocate and us trying to have a child together. She ask me to come visit her again for the fifth time because every other month we would go on trips together and hook up (cruises, flights, etc). The day before my flight she said “her boyfriend don’t like the idea of me staying with her which is understandable but I didn’t even know she got a boyfriend in the 3-4 weeks of her asking me to come see he and that she decided to tell me about it the day before I arrived. I had a great time on my trip. I respected her relationship despite seeing her with her new love of her life especially knowing that how we used to be. I decided to distance myself and emotions. Am I selfish for protecting my heart and not wanting to interact with her no more. I don’t wanna just ghost her. I tried to be just friends but I realized I can’t just be friends with her. I want the best for her but I don’t know what to do anymore. Ps: we were actually great friends and offered each other great advice but I think I was just fooling myself for the opportunity to date her.
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