I [27F] don't know is things can be repaired/am confused by [30M]

Hey, This is my first Reddit post, so please let me know if there's anything I'm missing here.

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For a while (a few months) I was flirtatious back and forth with the dude in question, who failed to make a move for some time. Eventually, I initiated a conversation with him, and we really hit it off. We began to share all kind of personal details and I felt immensely comfortable doing so with him. He always knew what to say, and it was going really well. Sex was great, and we were talking all the time over text. He seemed smitten with me, and I was falling fast. I am not the type to jump into things AT ALL, but I really felt a connection to this guy I haven't felt in a very long time.

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This continued for about a month, until we were having sex and I asked him to get a little rough. He obliged, it was great. Until he began to choke me. I freaked out--I screamed, and immediately felt foolish. He stopped right away, but I could tell he was very put off. We also could not continue to have sex. To make matters worse, I then began to 'over apologize' and make a fool of myself. I just felt so stupid, because I felt that I could have just asked him to stop rather than screaming, and because I felt I should have discussed that choking is not in my definition of rough beforehand.

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The next day, I reached out asking if would like to hang out. He said he could not, and also told me that he needed some time alone. I told him I respected that, but wanted to be clear beforehand that I was not upset about the last night. I had just been surprised, and should have cleared that up before. He acknowledged that, and encouraged me to 'not take the blame so heavy'.

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Since then (about a week ago), I've tried to respect his request for time alone by not initiating contact with him--and it's killing me. He also narrowed down on me over-apologizing, so I feel like if I reached out, I'd only be doing more of that. He has initiated contact with me once, just to chat, and I was friendly in response, but then back to nothing.

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It feels so odd to me to go from talking all the time, to never talking at all. It also feels so bizarre that so many good times together are all being dashed for what feels to me like a misunderstanding. We used to be able to talk about anything at all, but I don't know how to go about talking about this.

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I guess my questions are: Did I screw up here? Can this be repaired? Why did he reach at all if he needs space?

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If so--how? Should I reach out? Or wait for him?

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And if I should extend the olive branch--how do I do that after not talking for days? Is a week enough time for that?

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TLDR: After a misunderstanding in the bedroom, he's not talking to me and I don't know if this is salvageable.

Submitted December 28, 2019 at 12:08AM

Hey, This is my first Reddit post, so please let me know if there's anything I'm missing here.​For a while (a few months) I was flirtatious back and forth with the dude in question, who failed to make a move for some time. Eventually, I initiated a conversation with him, and we really hit it off. We began to share all kind of personal details and I felt immensely comfortable doing so with him. He always knew what to say, and it was going really well. Sex was great, and we were talking all the time over text. He seemed smitten with me, and I was falling fast. I am not the type to jump into things AT ALL, but I really felt a connection to this guy I haven't felt in a very long time.​This continued for about a month, until we were having sex and I asked him to get a little rough. He obliged, it was great. Until he began to choke me. I freaked out--I screamed, and immediately felt foolish. He stopped right away, but I could tell he was very put off. We also could not continue to have sex. To make matters worse, I then began to 'over apologize' and make a fool of myself. I just felt so stupid, because I felt that I could have just asked him to stop rather than screaming, and because I felt I should have discussed that choking is not in my definition of rough beforehand.​The next day, I reached out asking if would like to hang out. He said he could not, and also told me that he needed some time alone. I told him I respected that, but wanted to be clear beforehand that I was not upset about the last night. I had just been surprised, and should have cleared that up before. He acknowledged that, and encouraged me to 'not take the blame so heavy'.​Since then (about a week ago), I've tried to respect his request for time alone by not initiating contact with him--and it's killing me. He also narrowed down on me over-apologizing, so I feel like if I reached out, I'd only be doing more of that. He has initiated contact with me once, just to chat, and I was friendly in response, but then back to nothing.​It feels so odd to me to go from talking all the time, to never talking at all. It also feels so bizarre that so many good times together are all being dashed for what feels to me like a misunderstanding. We used to be able to talk about anything at all, but I don't know how to go about talking about this.​I guess my questions are: Did I screw up here? Can this be repaired? Why did he reach at all if he needs space?​If so--how? Should I reach out? Or wait for him?​And if I should extend the olive branch--how do I do that after not talking for days? Is a week enough time for that?​TLDR: After a misunderstanding in the bedroom, he's not talking to me and I don't know if this is salvageable.