My friend (22M) never texts or invites me (20F) and I'm thinking of ending the friendship

I (20F) have a male friend (22M) who I was in the same class with since 5th grade but we only became friends in grade 11 (out of 12). We bonded over how boring our classes were and our shared interest in anime and art. He's a very quiet and reserved person, and also seems a bit, um, less mature? I don't mean this in a bad way, but he has a very vivid imagination, doesn't care about stuff others of his age care about and stuff like that. That makes him very endearing and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. Fast forward a couple years and I've been abroad a lot so we haven't had much contact. We texted occasionally but last month we met up for the first time in over a year. It wasn't particularly fun, because I'm not into anime or art anymore so we don't actually have much to talk about. My main issue though is that whenever we meet up, I have to invite him. He also barely texts me. I haven't been to his house, never got an invitation to hang out somewhere. It's always me who has to ask. Our birthdays are in the same week, he's first and I congratulated him but he didn't do the same for me. I'm thinking of not continuing the friendship. It's less that our common ground is lost, it's more that I feel like I have to put in all the effort. I've never really done this on purpose so I asked my BF (23) for an opinion and he said that he doesn't invite his friends but that he'll just wait to be invited. His explanation was that he's scared of rejection and that he still has friends so clearly it is working for him. This had me pretty stumped to be honest. Like my BF I'm a very introverted person and for me inviting someone isn't super easy either. It's not just the inviting part, I also have to come up with what to do in addition to cleaning. With my other (female) friends it's much more mutual and I don't have this issue. Depression and anxiety have hit me really hard lately but I still went out of my way to organise a 6 people party, so I have a very hard time understanding how my partner and friend can have such a different perspective on things. For me going out of my way to make sure we can hang out is the minimum amount of effort I expect from a friend. Can anyone shed some light on the issue? Is this some weird female/male friends thing? Should I end my friendship? My friend did nothing wrong and I'm sure we could still have fun together but I'm just tired of having to do all the reaching out. I would like some objective opinions before I talk to him about it/end it.

TL;DR: Friend from high school never texts me or invites me to hang out so I have to do it every time. I see this kind of "work" as a given when I'm friends with someone but my BF disagrees and now I'm confused as to who's the weirdo here. :^(

Submitted November 23, 2019 at 11:45PM

I (20F) have a male friend (22M) who I was in the same class with since 5th grade but we only became friends in grade 11 (out of 12). We bonded over how boring our classes were and our shared interest in anime and art. He's a very quiet and reserved person, and also seems a bit, um, less mature? I don't mean this in a bad way, but he has a very vivid imagination, doesn't care about stuff others of his age care about and stuff like that. That makes him very endearing and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. Fast forward a couple years and I've been abroad a lot so we haven't had much contact. We texted occasionally but last month we met up for the first time in over a year. It wasn't particularly fun, because I'm not into anime or art anymore so we don't actually have much to talk about. My main issue though is that whenever we meet up, I have to invite him. He also barely texts me. I haven't been to his house, never got an invitation to hang out somewhere. It's always me who has to ask. Our birthdays are in the same week, he's first and I congratulated him but he didn't do the same for me. I'm thinking of not continuing the friendship. It's less that our common ground is lost, it's more that I feel like I have to put in all the effort. I've never really done this on purpose so I asked my BF (23) for an opinion and he said that he doesn't invite his friends but that he'll just wait to be invited. His explanation was that he's scared of rejection and that he still has friends so clearly it is working for him. This had me pretty stumped to be honest. Like my BF I'm a very introverted person and for me inviting someone isn't super easy either. It's not just the inviting part, I also have to come up with what to do in addition to cleaning. With my other (female) friends it's much more mutual and I don't have this issue. Depression and anxiety have hit me really hard lately but I still went out of my way to organise a 6 people party, so I have a very hard time understanding how my partner and friend can have such a different perspective on things. For me going out of my way to make sure we can hang out is the minimum amount of effort I expect from a friend. Can anyone shed some light on the issue? Is this some weird female/male friends thing? Should I end my friendship? My friend did nothing wrong and I'm sure we could still have fun together but I'm just tired of having to do all the reaching out. I would like some objective opinions before I talk to him about it/end it.TL;DR: Friend from high school never texts me or invites me to hang out so I have to do it every time. I see this kind of "work" as a given when I'm friends with someone but my BF disagrees and now I'm confused as to who's the weirdo here. :^(