My (21) GF wants to go work on cruise ships. I don't know how to feel honestly.

So me (23M) am in a somewhat happy relationship with my girlfriend, I'll explain the "somewhat" part further down.

INFO

• Been together for almost 2 years
• She's a music student and wants to do multiple contracts as an entertainer
• Im a soldier in a very time demanding unit
• We've broken up but not due to cheating, fighting etc.
• We live about 45 mins away from eachother but we make it work
• She studies halfway between both towns

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We've always managed to conjugate our free time (weekends, and the occasional week day) just fine. Eventually falling into a routine of sorts. Which led her to doubt her feelings for me, and my plan on emigrating and making her end the relationship once. And another after i felt insecure about cruiseships and other issues in our lives, which led her to believe she was being toxic to me. Both break ups were very hard on her (her tears weren't an act), but were significantly less hard on me. We always kept in touch after the breakups because we wanted to remain friends, we're literally best friends who happen to be dating.

The 2nd time was very hard on her and she said it dawned on her that the thought of breaking up was killing her inside because she felt i could meet a potential gf at any moment,. So aight, we get back together, but this time apart made me grow a bit distant from her. During the first break up I tried improving myself and getting some clarity in my head to make myself a better man for her and to re-attract her. The 2nd time i just didn't care if she came back or not. Okay so we're re-re-starting our relationship with this mindset, so time goes by and the cruiseship issue is looming in my head once again. I start reading on cruise ships and all i can find is that the staff have sex with eachother quite often. And i told her that is what worries me, and she got offended. I know for a fact that the people around influence you and your behaviour to a certain degree (eg:Spending weeks on end with the army boys and you turn a bit into a frat boy on steroids). So every time i try to address the issue it just turns into a big fight. I get tired of it I break up.

She tries to talk me out of it, I keep my decision.

During this period she lowers her projection of doing 5 contracts ( 6+ months) to MAYBE 2... maybe, who the fuck knows, not me that's for sure. I still keep on saying I don't see a future because in 3 years we'll be over and she asks me to give her time to think about if she wants to move to another country with me. She comes back with she's open to it.

So we get back together and have the next 2 months completely bliss, but deep down I know I have this thought looming in my head.

I just can't get it out, I feel like i'll wait for her to go and i'll get cheated on, or she'll break it up to go fully experience her life on the cruise (she told me multiple times she only wants me).

I know how much of a turn off it is for girls when your bf is being insecure, so this is why I've stopped addressing the issue with her.

All my instincts are screaming " you're going to get fucked " but my brain says " if she considers moving to another country with you, she loves you ". So now i'm torn between my heart and my brain. I honestly don't want another girl I know I can do better in the looks department, but I fell in love with who this girl is, and that matters way more.

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So if you guys and girls could help me out I'll appreciate it.

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TL;DR: GF going to work 6+ months away, I'm being insecure, is it justifiable or nah?

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I can answer the dumbest military questions too...

Submitted November 23, 2019 at 11:21PM

So me (23M) am in a somewhat happy relationship with my girlfriend, I'll explain the "somewhat" part further down.INFOBeen together for almost 2 yearsShe's a music student and wants to do multiple contracts as an entertainerIm a soldier in a very time demanding unitWe've broken up but not due to cheating, fighting etc.We live about 45 mins away from eachother but we make it workShe studies halfway between both towns​We've always managed to conjugate our free time (weekends, and the occasional week day) just fine. Eventually falling into a routine of sorts. Which led her to doubt her feelings for me, and my plan on emigrating and making her end the relationship once. And another after i felt insecure about cruiseships and other issues in our lives, which led her to believe she was being toxic to me. Both break ups were very hard on her (her tears weren't an act), but were significantly less hard on me. We always kept in touch after the breakups because we wanted to remain friends, we're literally best friends who happen to be dating.The 2nd time was very hard on her and she said it dawned on her that the thought of breaking up was killing her inside because she felt i could meet a potential gf at any moment,. So aight, we get back together, but this time apart made me grow a bit distant from her. During the first break up I tried improving myself and getting some clarity in my head to make myself a better man for her and to re-attract her. The 2nd time i just didn't care if she came back or not. Okay so we're re-re-starting our relationship with this mindset, so time goes by and the cruiseship issue is looming in my head once again. I start reading on cruise ships and all i can find is that the staff have sex with eachother quite often. And i told her that is what worries me, and she got offended. I know for a fact that the people around influence you and your behaviour to a certain degree (eg:Spending weeks on end with the army boys and you turn a bit into a frat boy on steroids). So every time i try to address the issue it just turns into a big fight. I get tired of it I break up.She tries to talk me out of it, I keep my decision.During this period she lowers her projection of doing 5 contracts ( 6+ months) to MAYBE 2... maybe, who the fuck knows, not me that's for sure. I still keep on saying I don't see a future because in 3 years we'll be over and she asks me to give her time to think about if she wants to move to another country with me. She comes back with she's open to it.So we get back together and have the next 2 months completely bliss, but deep down I know I have this thought looming in my head.I just can't get it out, I feel like i'll wait for her to go and i'll get cheated on, or she'll break it up to go fully experience her life on the cruise (she told me multiple times she only wants me).I know how much of a turn off it is for girls when your bf is being insecure, so this is why I've stopped addressing the issue with her.All my instincts are screaming " you're going to get fucked " but my brain says " if she considers moving to another country with you, she loves you ". So now i'm torn between my heart and my brain. I honestly don't want another girl I know I can do better in the looks department, but I fell in love with who this girl is, and that matters way more.​So if you guys and girls could help me out I'll appreciate it.​TL;DR: GF going to work 6+ months away, I'm being insecure, is it justifiable or nah?​I can answer the dumbest military questions too...