My (25F) husband (29M) is asking me for permission to get nudes from his friend.

Let me start off by saying that this is a throw away account and that this post may be a little long, so thank you for sticking with it. TL;DR at the bottom.

So my husband and I have been together for 4.5 years, but married for 1. During the first 7 months of our marriage, he was away for job related stuff. It was difficult but with communication, we stuck through it. When he came back, we spent about 2 or so months together and now he's currently away for job related stuff.

While on business the other day, he's asked me permission for him to get nudes from his friend (M, early 30's) since his friend had offered to show him "what he was packing". My husband is bi-curious, his friend is gay and I have no issue with either of them. His friend has trouble getting into relationships, he also has issues with self confidence and being very self deprecating. I had told my husband, "it's an odd request for a guy to offer another guy a picture of his junk even if they're just friends. Did you think that he may be feeling lonely, upset or have any feelings for you and that's why he offered to send dick pics?" My husband agreed to what I said and I furthered the conversation saying, "Then don't you think it would be unfair for him if he were to send these pictures without the relationship going any further than just being friends? Or thinking that you're gonna leave me to be with him?"

I had told him no to getting pictures. I had also told my husband that I was upset with his friend for this. For a little more insight; in the past his friend has been very negative towards his straight friends getting married and leaving him and said that's probably what my husband will do to him. However my husband has still remained friends with him and continues to help him when he's in the dumps.

Later on in the night, my husband asked, "Am I ever going to be allowed to explore my sexuality?" I told him that eventually we'll be able to have a threesome. I just don't feel comfortable with it just yet." I'm battling my own self worth and self conscious issues right now and he KNOWS this as I've told him. Anyways that's besides the point. Things then had gone back to 'normal' for that night.

Flash forward to today, my husband said he told his friend that I said no and his friend said "Is there anything I can do to make her more comfortable with the idea?" my husband told him "it's something that she'll have to think about." I still didn't want him to get the nudes and I told my husband. Later on during the evening, my husband asks, "I was wondering if it was okay for _____ to send nudes? Not because I'm particularly attracted to him and I'm not interested in a relationship with him, I find the idea of him sending me nudes enticing for some reason. Like knowing that he finds me attractive makes me feel good if that makes sense." I told him that it's something that I have to think about.

Am I being over dramatic with this? Should I let my husband get these pictures? I understand that these are pictures, but it's from someone that he knows, instead of random porn on the internet. Do I put my foot down and stand my ground on this? I'd really love for your guys' input on this as I have no one else to talk to about it. His family doesn't know that he's bi-curious and my family would be quick to tell me to leave him because I don't think they liked him from the start.

​

TL;DR- Husband wants nudes from his male friend and I told him no. He asked me again a few days later and I want to tell him no but I don't want to sound like I don't support his bi-curiousness.



Submitted November 23, 2019 at 11:24PM

Let me start off by saying that this is a throw away account and that this post may be a little long, so thank you for sticking with it. TL;DR at the bottom.So my husband and I have been together for 4.5 years, but married for 1. During the first 7 months of our marriage, he was away for job related stuff. It was difficult but with communication, we stuck through it. When he came back, we spent about 2 or so months together and now he's currently away for job related stuff.While on business the other day, he's asked me permission for him to get nudes from his friend (M, early 30's) since his friend had offered to show him "what he was packing". My husband is bi-curious, his friend is gay and I have no issue with either of them. His friend has trouble getting into relationships, he also has issues with self confidence and being very self deprecating. I had told my husband, "it's an odd request for a guy to offer another guy a picture of his junk even if they're just friends. Did you think that he may be feeling lonely, upset or have any feelings for you and that's why he offered to send dick pics?" My husband agreed to what I said and I furthered the conversation saying, "Then don't you think it would be unfair for him if he were to send these pictures without the relationship going any further than just being friends? Or thinking that you're gonna leave me to be with him?"I had told him no to getting pictures. I had also told my husband that I was upset with his friend for this. For a little more insight; in the past his friend has been very negative towards his straight friends getting married and leaving him and said that's probably what my husband will do to him. However my husband has still remained friends with him and continues to help him when he's in the dumps.Later on in the night, my husband asked, "Am I ever going to be allowed to explore my sexuality?" I told him that eventually we'll be able to have a threesome. I just don't feel comfortable with it just yet." I'm battling my own self worth and self conscious issues right now and he KNOWS this as I've told him. Anyways that's besides the point. Things then had gone back to 'normal' for that night.Flash forward to today, my husband said he told his friend that I said no and his friend said "Is there anything I can do to make her more comfortable with the idea?" my husband told him "it's something that she'll have to think about." I still didn't want him to get the nudes and I told my husband. Later on during the evening, my husband asks, "I was wondering if it was okay for _____ to send nudes? Not because I'm particularly attracted to him and I'm not interested in a relationship with him, I find the idea of him sending me nudes enticing for some reason. Like knowing that he finds me attractive makes me feel good if that makes sense." I told him that it's something that I have to think about.Am I being over dramatic with this? Should I let my husband get these pictures? I understand that these are pictures, but it's from someone that he knows, instead of random porn on the internet. Do I put my foot down and stand my ground on this? I'd really love for your guys' input on this as I have no one else to talk to about it. His family doesn't know that he's bi-curious and my family would be quick to tell me to leave him because I don't think they liked him from the start.​TL;DR- Husband wants nudes from his male friend and I told him no. He asked me again a few days later and I want to tell him no but I don't want to sound like I don't support his bi-curiousness.
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