[Dating] How do I [30F] tell this guy [32M] I'm seeing to tone it down?

I've known this guy for a few months now, and we recently have gone on a few dates --and he seems pretty great so far-- but he's just a lot. A lot, a lot.

  1. Constantly saying outrageous over-the-top compliments... working them into almost all points of the conversation.
  2. Calls me every pet name in the book Hun, sweetheart, beautiful, gorgeous, sweetie... you name it, he's said it. And I really don't like pet names (I find them kinda lazy? Say my name, not the names everyone calls everyone).
  3. Good morning texts every day. No conversation, just [Insert greeting] [insert pet name] [insert compliment]. If I don't respond I still get them everyday.
  4. Constantly telling me how happy/excited he is to see/talk/hear my voice... any interaction whatsoever.
  5. Constantly "oh I was just going to say that you read my mind!" or "oh me too, something else we have in common!"

Like, dude, slow your roll.

When he's not doing those things he's fun, kind, funny... so far ticks all my boxes...

And I would like to continue seeing him...

But only if he tones it the. fuck. down.

I'm pretty independent, sarcastic and a bit of a tomboy. All of this attention makes me uncomfortable. I want a partner who will tease me and/or put me in my place when I deserve it. Someone I can rely on in a zombie apocalypse. Not someone who's constantly worshiping the ground I walk on... it just seems... disingenuous? Contrived? Fake? We're not living in a goddamn rom com here (which, btw, I tend to hate and find incredibly ridiculous. I'm more into kung fu and superheroes)!

So my question is: How do I tell him this without:

a) Sounding like a huge ungrateful bitch.

b) Being mean and hurting his feelings.

c) Making everything super awkward.

I know I need to use my big girl adult words, but I'm really struggling here guys.

TL;DR I like this guy, but he thinks we live in a rom com and more is always better. How do I tell him to tone it down without ruining what we have so far?



Submitted November 23, 2019 at 11:34PM

I've known this guy for a few months now, and we recently have gone on a few dates --and he seems pretty great so far-- but he's just a lot. A lot, a lot.Constantly saying outrageous over-the-top compliments... working them into almost all points of the conversation.Calls me every pet name in the book Hun, sweetheart, beautiful, gorgeous, sweetie... you name it, he's said it. And I really don't like pet names (I find them kinda lazy? Say my name, not the names everyone calls everyone).Good morning texts every day. No conversation, just [Insert greeting] [insert pet name] [insert compliment]. If I don't respond I still get them everyday.Constantly telling me how happy/excited he is to see/talk/hear my voice... any interaction whatsoever.Constantly "oh I was just going to say that you read my mind!" or "oh me too, something else we have in common!"Like, dude, slow your roll.When he's not doing those things he's fun, kind, funny... so far ticks all my boxes...And I would like to continue seeing him...But only if he tones it the. fuck. down.I'm pretty independent, sarcastic and a bit of a tomboy. All of this attention makes me uncomfortable. I want a partner who will tease me and/or put me in my place when I deserve it. Someone I can rely on in a zombie apocalypse. Not someone who's constantly worshiping the ground I walk on... it just seems... disingenuous? Contrived? Fake? We're not living in a goddamn rom com here (which, btw, I tend to hate and find incredibly ridiculous. I'm more into kung fu and superheroes)!So my question is: How do I tell him this without:a) Sounding like a huge ungrateful bitch.b) Being mean and hurting his feelings.c) Making everything super awkward.I know I need to use my big girl adult words, but I'm really struggling here guys.TL;DR I like this guy, but he thinks we live in a rom com and more is always better. How do I tell him to tone it down without ruining what we have so far?
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