Am I [22F] Gay/Lesbian??

TL;DR-I haven't really had lesbian crushes or really resonate with things I read other lesbians who discovered their sexuality had, and I've had crushes on men and enjoy hetero sex with them-why do I still feel so stressed that I might be lesbian though? Anxiety or truth from my subconscious?

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Hi reddit! Not sure if this is the right place for it, just need to get it off my chest. Honestly, considering if I'm posting here maybe I am? Who knows

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. He was my first boyfriend ever at 22. And now I'm confused. I have been stressed this past week that maybe I'm gay or bi? And I'm not sure why. I've had mild crushes on girls, but I've also had some crushes on guys. I've never really had a crush on a female actor or whatever-if anything it's been more the men. But now I'm noticing the girls more this past week, but honestly not sure if it's because the girls are prettier, or I've been anxious about this (I have anxiety and see a therapist). I've never really liked romance films, I always thought it was because the romance was forced, but now I'm like "what if it's just because I'm not into straight stuff?". I had a sex dream a few days ago about me and one of my female friends, and that was weird and not sure how into that I was tbh-but then again I have had weird sex dreams about male friends and also didn't like that, because hey they're my friends!

I really enjoyed having a boyfriend. I definitely loved kissing him and having sex! I started getting a bit bored of it later on in the relationship (of about 8-9 months) but not sure if that's just because it was a relationship and these things happen. I loved watching him jerk off and stuff (altho giving head was meh) and I'm pretty sure I enjoy penises? But I guess the worry is that it took me so long to get a crush on somebody, find him attractive, etc, and I'm worried I only finally, at 22, got into this relationship because of I had spent long enough around him and it was some forced heteronormativity thing.

I feel like I'm basically stressed that all my crushes on guys were not real enough, or were me convincing myself to have crushes on people., and that being with a man will never make me happy. And the thought of having that thought, seems to convince me that something about men pulls me off maybe?? And I will only be happy with a woman. I feel like it all pulls back to a Tumblr post I saw where it said that if you'd never gotten serious crushes or dated people, or people you did crush on tended to be authority figures or people you'd never had a chance with really, that you might actually be gay.

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Idk Reddit, if anybody can talk to me or help me pull my thoughts together, has been in a similar place, etc. I'm not sure if it's just anxiety or if it's my sunconscious trying to tell me something or what.



Submitted November 24, 2019 at 12:07AM

TL;DR-I haven't really had lesbian crushes or really resonate with things I read other lesbians who discovered their sexuality had, and I've had crushes on men and enjoy hetero sex with them-why do I still feel so stressed that I might be lesbian though? Anxiety or truth from my subconscious?​Hi reddit! Not sure if this is the right place for it, just need to get it off my chest. Honestly, considering if I'm posting here maybe I am? Who knowsI broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. He was my first boyfriend ever at 22. And now I'm confused. I have been stressed this past week that maybe I'm gay or bi? And I'm not sure why. I've had mild crushes on girls, but I've also had some crushes on guys. I've never really had a crush on a female actor or whatever-if anything it's been more the men. But now I'm noticing the girls more this past week, but honestly not sure if it's because the girls are prettier, or I've been anxious about this (I have anxiety and see a therapist). I've never really liked romance films, I always thought it was because the romance was forced, but now I'm like "what if it's just because I'm not into straight stuff?". I had a sex dream a few days ago about me and one of my female friends, and that was weird and not sure how into that I was tbh-but then again I have had weird sex dreams about male friends and also didn't like that, because hey they're my friends!I really enjoyed having a boyfriend. I definitely loved kissing him and having sex! I started getting a bit bored of it later on in the relationship (of about 8-9 months) but not sure if that's just because it was a relationship and these things happen. I loved watching him jerk off and stuff (altho giving head was meh) and I'm pretty sure I enjoy penises? But I guess the worry is that it took me so long to get a crush on somebody, find him attractive, etc, and I'm worried I only finally, at 22, got into this relationship because of I had spent long enough around him and it was some forced heteronormativity thing.I feel like I'm basically stressed that all my crushes on guys were not real enough, or were me convincing myself to have crushes on people., and that being with a man will never make me happy. And the thought of having that thought, seems to convince me that something about men pulls me off maybe?? And I will only be happy with a woman. I feel like it all pulls back to a Tumblr post I saw where it said that if you'd never gotten serious crushes or dated people, or people you did crush on tended to be authority figures or people you'd never had a chance with really, that you might actually be gay.​Idk Reddit, if anybody can talk to me or help me pull my thoughts together, has been in a similar place, etc. I'm not sure if it's just anxiety or if it's my sunconscious trying to tell me something or what.
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