How Do I (24F) Have a Relationship With My Parents When I Feel Like I Can’t Connect With Them (62 M&F)?

TL;DR I feel like there is something wrong with me, in that, I only find talking to about two or three people in my life deeply fulfilling because apparently, I see and analyze things and the world on a deep level and would rather be alone than bored talking to someone. I don’t know how to keep my relationship with my parents alive because my dad answers things in a very simplistic, logical way and my mom sometimes belittles my struggles because she doesn’t understand them. Also, when making friends, I struggle because I feel like no one sees me for the real me (no one gets me). Most people don’t fulfill me. I feel very alone and am seeking some advice on how to maintain relationships, even if they aren’t completely fulfilling.

Ever since I was a kid, people have told me that I’m an “indigo child” or like special in some way in that I see the world—the entire world and I see through people and can stand back and oversee and analyze situations and emotions on a deep level. Segway into my title.

I have struggled with my parents for years, specifically my dad. His answers to questions are very simplistic emotionally and his responses are extremely logical and surface level. If I say I had a tough day and explain an entire situation for like ten minutes, he’ll say something like, “long day, long day. Yeah, but you got through it.” Like he never is able to deeply analyze anything or respond to something in-depth in a way that I would. And so for me, his presence and responses are extremely isolating and to be honest, quite boring to the point where I avoid talking to him because it feels like literal work. I am also introverted so to me, this act of constantly engaging in small talk is extremely draining. I would like to have a relationship with my dad, but quite honestly, I know that people don’t change. So if anything’s gonna change, it’s gonna have to be me. I’m going to have to bend to comply with how he is and I just can’t bring myself to do that at this point in my life because it is so incredibly draining (being that I see him everyday and I live at home). Has anyone else dealt with a person in their life where it feels like he/she doesn’t understand you, but you made the relationship work anyway? How did you accomplish this?

To be honest, I feel quite lonely a lot because I only seem to feel fulfilled my deep, close relationships where I share my feelings with some often and discuss and analyze things with my best friend in a witty manner, with good banter and jokes. I recently have been at a bit of a social stand-still because a lot of my friends from high school moved away and my college friends live far away. I feel lonely and want to make friends, but I just also in general, struggle to find people interesting, because I can’t connect with a lot of them on a deep level.

I have struggled with this since a young age. I had a best friend for several years, but that relationship was tumultuous and painful, so I’m thinking about ending it. Does anyone have any advice for someone like me, that feels isolated, even when in a crowd? I just want to be seen for who I am. I feel like you only exist as much as you are acknowledged as who you really are. Someone who really sees you and your soul’s existence. I haven’t felt that acknowledgement recently and I’m starving for some meaning, some feeling. Any insight is greatly appreciated. Thanks

Submitted November 23, 2019 at 11:43PM

TL;DR I feel like there is something wrong with me, in that, I only find talking to about two or three people in my life deeply fulfilling because apparently, I see and analyze things and the world on a deep level and would rather be alone than bored talking to someone. I don’t know how to keep my relationship with my parents alive because my dad answers things in a very simplistic, logical way and my mom sometimes belittles my struggles because she doesn’t understand them. Also, when making friends, I struggle because I feel like no one sees me for the real me (no one gets me). Most people don’t fulfill me. I feel very alone and am seeking some advice on how to maintain relationships, even if they aren’t completely fulfilling.Ever since I was a kid, people have told me that I’m an “indigo child” or like special in some way in that I see the world—the entire world and I see through people and can stand back and oversee and analyze situations and emotions on a deep level. Segway into my title.I have struggled with my parents for years, specifically my dad. His answers to questions are very simplistic emotionally and his responses are extremely logical and surface level. If I say I had a tough day and explain an entire situation for like ten minutes, he’ll say something like, “long day, long day. Yeah, but you got through it.” Like he never is able to deeply analyze anything or respond to something in-depth in a way that I would. And so for me, his presence and responses are extremely isolating and to be honest, quite boring to the point where I avoid talking to him because it feels like literal work. I am also introverted so to me, this act of constantly engaging in small talk is extremely draining. I would like to have a relationship with my dad, but quite honestly, I know that people don’t change. So if anything’s gonna change, it’s gonna have to be me. I’m going to have to bend to comply with how he is and I just can’t bring myself to do that at this point in my life because it is so incredibly draining (being that I see him everyday and I live at home). Has anyone else dealt with a person in their life where it feels like he/she doesn’t understand you, but you made the relationship work anyway? How did you accomplish this?To be honest, I feel quite lonely a lot because I only seem to feel fulfilled my deep, close relationships where I share my feelings with some often and discuss and analyze things with my best friend in a witty manner, with good banter and jokes. I recently have been at a bit of a social stand-still because a lot of my friends from high school moved away and my college friends live far away. I feel lonely and want to make friends, but I just also in general, struggle to find people interesting, because I can’t connect with a lot of them on a deep level.I have struggled with this since a young age. I had a best friend for several years, but that relationship was tumultuous and painful, so I’m thinking about ending it. Does anyone have any advice for someone like me, that feels isolated, even when in a crowd? I just want to be seen for who I am. I feel like you only exist as much as you are acknowledged as who you really are. Someone who really sees you and your soul’s existence. I haven’t felt that acknowledgement recently and I’m starving for some meaning, some feeling. Any insight is greatly appreciated. Thanks