Debating quitting school to help my [29F] husband's [30M] depression.

Tl;dr: Me working full-time and going to school is making my husband's depression worse. I’m debating if I should just drop out of school.

I realize this is outside of Reddit’s pay grade, but I would just like some different opinions.

My husband and I have 3 kids. I had the oldest when I was 18, so I didn’t actually start taking college classes until around 23. Over the past 6 years, I have taken a class or two every semester to chip away. We also added 2 more kids to the mix during that time (one intentional, one surprise). I have still continued to work full-time and work towards my degree by taking online classes and it hasn’t really been an issue until now.

I’m at a point in my degree where the classes I need are only offered on campus and primarily during the day. So I got a job at a clinic that is open 7 days a week, that way I can work nights and weekends to afford putting the kids in daycare while I attend day classes. My husband told me last week that he’s sick of being the babysitter. I have been the primary caretaker to our children for 11 years, so this is definitely a lot more responsibility for him.

Furthermore, my husband has also been struggling with alcoholism/addiction and depression for about 10 years now. During our conversation last week about him being tired of babysitting, he told me this is the lowest he’s felt in his life. He is already battling so much mentally, and him being alone with the kids 3 nights a week and every other weekend is taking away the last bit of sanity he has. He doesn’t believe in medication or therapy, and he says nothing brings him happiness. I don’t know what else to do for him besides take the responsibility of kids away.

I feel like my only option is to drop out of school and go back to working 8-5 so that I can become the primary caretaker again. He would never ask me to quit school, because he has always been the biggest supporter. But he has constantly brought it up to me lately that I should have never had any of the kids until I finished my degree, which I don’t disagree with but can’t change now. However, if I don’t finish school, I will never be able to financially support my family and it’ll always be on my husband to be the breadwinner. It would take me 2 more years to obtain a bachelors.

So the question is do I continue to selfishly push through school or do I drop out to help my husband’s sanity? What would you do?

Submitted September 18, 2019 at 11:50PM

Tl;dr: Me working full-time and going to school is making my husband's depression worse. I’m debating if I should just drop out of school.I realize this is outside of Reddit’s pay grade, but I would just like some different opinions.My husband and I have 3 kids. I had the oldest when I was 18, so I didn’t actually start taking college classes until around 23. Over the past 6 years, I have taken a class or two every semester to chip away. We also added 2 more kids to the mix during that time (one intentional, one surprise). I have still continued to work full-time and work towards my degree by taking online classes and it hasn’t really been an issue until now.I’m at a point in my degree where the classes I need are only offered on campus and primarily during the day. So I got a job at a clinic that is open 7 days a week, that way I can work nights and weekends to afford putting the kids in daycare while I attend day classes. My husband told me last week that he’s sick of being the babysitter. I have been the primary caretaker to our children for 11 years, so this is definitely a lot more responsibility for him.Furthermore, my husband has also been struggling with alcoholism/addiction and depression for about 10 years now. During our conversation last week about him being tired of babysitting, he told me this is the lowest he’s felt in his life. He is already battling so much mentally, and him being alone with the kids 3 nights a week and every other weekend is taking away the last bit of sanity he has. He doesn’t believe in medication or therapy, and he says nothing brings him happiness. I don’t know what else to do for him besides take the responsibility of kids away.I feel like my only option is to drop out of school and go back to working 8-5 so that I can become the primary caretaker again. He would never ask me to quit school, because he has always been the biggest supporter. But he has constantly brought it up to me lately that I should have never had any of the kids until I finished my degree, which I don’t disagree with but can’t change now. However, if I don’t finish school, I will never be able to financially support my family and it’ll always be on my husband to be the breadwinner. It would take me 2 more years to obtain a bachelors.So the question is do I continue to selfishly push through school or do I drop out to help my husband’s sanity? What would you do?