Advice for domestic abuse from parents (60s)? - I (20F) can’t leave home (involves student loan)

tl;dr Both parents are stopping me from leaving through finances - they refuse to confirm that I am financially independent (although both are unemployed), and have been trying to coerce me into giving them my student loan which doesn’t cover half of my rent as it is. Both parents are mentally ill but undiagnosed and there has been physical abuse involving police on several occasions

I’ll try to keep this short so here is factual background:

I’m 20, so no longer can be assisted by social services. I have reached out to my university and to the national student loan company aiming to be granted independent status. Unfortunately my university is notoriously unhelpful and can’t (by policy) write notes for the student loan company. Student loan company has been unhelpful so far and dismissed the factor of domestic abuse, however I am in appeal.

University is my only immediate way to get away from home - I can’t stay longer and wait it out, because it’s really detrimental to my wellbeing. The abuse is constant, and I have PTSD. I also don’t have anywhere else to go, no friends or extended family.

However there is university accommodation which I have laid down a deposit for - I can stay there until 1st October if I have to leave home immediately within the next few days. However on the 1st I will have to pay the full semester of rent - if my student loan appeal outcome (which will come out by the 22nd September) fails, I will not be able to pay this amount and I will have to move out.

I have less than £20 right now. Everything I saved from earlier work I had to spend on my deposit

Besides financial duress involving student loan there has been severe domestic violence involving police. However there was never a proper solution - last incidents when I was 18, the police didn’t take it very seriously, for example I ended up being taken to the station, but not arrested, even though I called the police because of assault. Therefore I don’t know if police records will be of any help (or if it is possible for me to request them).

They have also lied to police, neighbours and family members about me- I don’t have anyone to turn to because in the past they have tried to call interventions when I was about to leave based on lies about things I never did.

My parents are undiagnosed but definitely have mental illness. While my mother is more evidently mentally ill, my father appears less so, if not at all and controls most of her life. However I think my mother has some sort of Stockholm syndrome which has progressed into more serious mental illness (possibly has schizophrenia or maybe early dementia but of course I’m not a doctor so I can’t be sure).

I’m supposed to be going into my third year at university (UK). However I might not be able to afford it - I’m in the middle of an appeal for my student loan, which is currently on minimum because parents refuse to confirm I am financially independent.

• I worked part time through term-time but because the loan was limited I was still living pay check to pay check, which means that for the past two summers I’ve had to return home which has disqualified me from being an independent student. I couldn’t afford the city rent at all it was the only way I could pay the next tear’s deposit.

I’m trying to keep this as short as possible , but essentially I need a doctors note - but in the remote area I live all of the doctors are my parent’s doctors too. And I don’t know how to set police reports straight. On top of this my parents are still holding some of my documents (exam results I need for a job interview).

Submitted September 18, 2019 at 11:54PM

tl;dr Both parents are stopping me from leaving through finances - they refuse to confirm that I am financially independent (although both are unemployed), and have been trying to coerce me into giving them my student loan which doesn’t cover half of my rent as it is. Both parents are mentally ill but undiagnosed and there has been physical abuse involving police on several occasionsI’ll try to keep this short so here is factual background:I’m 20, so no longer can be assisted by social services. I have reached out to my university and to the national student loan company aiming to be granted independent status. Unfortunately my university is notoriously unhelpful and can’t (by policy) write notes for the student loan company. Student loan company has been unhelpful so far and dismissed the factor of domestic abuse, however I am in appeal.University is my only immediate way to get away from home - I can’t stay longer and wait it out, because it’s really detrimental to my wellbeing. The abuse is constant, and I have PTSD. I also don’t have anywhere else to go, no friends or extended family.However there is university accommodation which I have laid down a deposit for - I can stay there until 1st October if I have to leave home immediately within the next few days. However on the 1st I will have to pay the full semester of rent - if my student loan appeal outcome (which will come out by the 22nd September) fails, I will not be able to pay this amount and I will have to move out.I have less than £20 right now. Everything I saved from earlier work I had to spend on my depositBesides financial duress involving student loan there has been severe domestic violence involving police. However there was never a proper solution - last incidents when I was 18, the police didn’t take it very seriously, for example I ended up being taken to the station, but not arrested, even though I called the police because of assault. Therefore I don’t know if police records will be of any help (or if it is possible for me to request them).They have also lied to police, neighbours and family members about me- I don’t have anyone to turn to because in the past they have tried to call interventions when I was about to leave based on lies about things I never did.My parents are undiagnosed but definitely have mental illness. While my mother is more evidently mentally ill, my father appears less so, if not at all and controls most of her life. However I think my mother has some sort of Stockholm syndrome which has progressed into more serious mental illness (possibly has schizophrenia or maybe early dementia but of course I’m not a doctor so I can’t be sure).I’m supposed to be going into my third year at university (UK). However I might not be able to afford it - I’m in the middle of an appeal for my student loan, which is currently on minimum because parents refuse to confirm I am financially independent.I worked part time through term-time but because the loan was limited I was still living pay check to pay check, which means that for the past two summers I’ve had to return home which has disqualified me from being an independent student. I couldn’t afford the city rent at all it was the only way I could pay the next tear’s deposit.I’m trying to keep this as short as possible , but essentially I need a doctors note - but in the remote area I live all of the doctors are my parent’s doctors too. And I don’t know how to set police reports straight. On top of this my parents are still holding some of my documents (exam results I need for a job interview).