Really bad mistake, can it be saved 26F + 27M, ~2 year

So i'm the dumbest man on earth, I made a huge mistake. I had a perfect relationship with my girlfriend then for whatever reason. While traveling abroad I received oral sex from a prostitute (protected). It wasn't something I was really seeking. A colleague brought us to bar, and they offered to take us in the back room. I went along with it for some reason thinking it would be more like a lap-dance type thing and it for some reason I just let it happen. I stopped her before it was over. I really don't know what I was thinking but clearly not through the consequences, or about my lovely girlfriend.

This was the biggest mistake i've made in my entire life. I went back to my hotel, had a panic attack, didn't really sleep for several days after. I knew there was no way I could live with the thought, so as soon as I could in person I told my girlfriend about it. She was clearly very upset, but we talked about trying to get through it. We parted ways for a bit but after sleeping, I woke up and asked her to come pick me up. We ended up driving around and talking and walking through an area at night holding hands, and it was really nice. Things began to feel normal again.

The next day started okay, but shes obviously still stuck on the thought ( of course I am as well.) I vowed to never let anything like that ever happen again (I have no desire to at all).

One stupid action just thrust both of our lives into depression. I don't know how I can live with myself or if things will ever be the same again. Our relationship was wonderful before this and we literally never fought about anything. I will never be this dumb again as long as I live. I obviously have some aspects of my personality to address, but honestly nothing like this has ever happened before and I've been sick since it has. Also very depressed and feel worthless and like I've ruined everything.

She was okay for a bit after yesterday, but just said to me she can't stop imagining it. What can I do to help the situation. I really don't want to give up what we had if at all possible. I think I would be sufficiently destroyed after that.

I don't know if it will be possible to get her to forgive me (I obviously can't ask for any forgiveness).

​

Please help..

tldr; had a perfect relation, screwed it up being an idiot and getting a blowjob



Submitted June 23, 2019 at 11:42PM

So i'm the dumbest man on earth, I made a huge mistake. I had a perfect relationship with my girlfriend then for whatever reason. While traveling abroad I received oral sex from a prostitute (protected). It wasn't something I was really seeking. A colleague brought us to bar, and they offered to take us in the back room. I went along with it for some reason thinking it would be more like a lap-dance type thing and it for some reason I just let it happen. I stopped her before it was over. I really don't know what I was thinking but clearly not through the consequences, or about my lovely girlfriend.This was the biggest mistake i've made in my entire life. I went back to my hotel, had a panic attack, didn't really sleep for several days after. I knew there was no way I could live with the thought, so as soon as I could in person I told my girlfriend about it. She was clearly very upset, but we talked about trying to get through it. We parted ways for a bit but after sleeping, I woke up and asked her to come pick me up. We ended up driving around and talking and walking through an area at night holding hands, and it was really nice. Things began to feel normal again.The next day started okay, but shes obviously still stuck on the thought ( of course I am as well.) I vowed to never let anything like that ever happen again (I have no desire to at all).One stupid action just thrust both of our lives into depression. I don't know how I can live with myself or if things will ever be the same again. Our relationship was wonderful before this and we literally never fought about anything. I will never be this dumb again as long as I live. I obviously have some aspects of my personality to address, but honestly nothing like this has ever happened before and I've been sick since it has. Also very depressed and feel worthless and like I've ruined everything.She was okay for a bit after yesterday, but just said to me she can't stop imagining it. What can I do to help the situation. I really don't want to give up what we had if at all possible. I think I would be sufficiently destroyed after that.I don't know if it will be possible to get her to forgive me (I obviously can't ask for any forgiveness).​Please help..tldr; had a perfect relation, screwed it up being an idiot and getting a blowjob
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