I (33F) told my boyfriend (29M) a lie about my ex boyfriend in the heat of the moment when he asked me. Is it worth it to tell him the truth over something so small, even though its been three weeks since then? Should I just let it go?

This has been kind of eating me up inside lately for some reason. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 15 months now. He asked me about my ex boyfriends and we discussed it. I told him about a guy I dated for 2 years after college, and he asked what he did, and in the heat of the moment I just said he was an electrician. The reality was that the guy was a model. I just felt suddenly so weird in that moment to say he was a model because I know my boyfriend can be incredibly insecure about his looks and his weight and I don't know why but I just figured he would never find out. It feels so silly in retrospect, that was 10 years ago, why would he care if I dated a model 10 years ago? It felt so out of character for me to lie about that in that situation, but I didn't want him thinking that he was a 'downgrade' from my hot model ex boyfriend or something.

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Its been three whole weeks since then and I just feel bad about it still. I hate lying and this was really out of character for me to lie like that.

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Should I tell him? Is there even any point in it? The ex boyfriend is literally a continent away now, there is basically no chance they will ever meet. I also feel like by admitting I am lying, I am also admitting that I did it to protect his feelings about his looks... which in some ways is kind of saying "you are ugly, and i didnt want you to think that you were a downgrade, so I lied". Even if that isn't what I think, he might possibly take it that way, which I would hate.

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TLDR: I gave a white lie to my boyfriend about my ex's profession. Wondering if I should tell the truth.



Submitted June 24, 2019 at 12:17AM

This has been kind of eating me up inside lately for some reason. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 15 months now. He asked me about my ex boyfriends and we discussed it. I told him about a guy I dated for 2 years after college, and he asked what he did, and in the heat of the moment I just said he was an electrician. The reality was that the guy was a model. I just felt suddenly so weird in that moment to say he was a model because I know my boyfriend can be incredibly insecure about his looks and his weight and I don't know why but I just figured he would never find out. It feels so silly in retrospect, that was 10 years ago, why would he care if I dated a model 10 years ago? It felt so out of character for me to lie about that in that situation, but I didn't want him thinking that he was a 'downgrade' from my hot model ex boyfriend or something.​Its been three whole weeks since then and I just feel bad about it still. I hate lying and this was really out of character for me to lie like that.​Should I tell him? Is there even any point in it? The ex boyfriend is literally a continent away now, there is basically no chance they will ever meet. I also feel like by admitting I am lying, I am also admitting that I did it to protect his feelings about his looks... which in some ways is kind of saying "you are ugly, and i didnt want you to think that you were a downgrade, so I lied". Even if that isn't what I think, he might possibly take it that way, which I would hate.​TLDR: I gave a white lie to my boyfriend about my ex's profession. Wondering if I should tell the truth.
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