M49 seeking advice on fixing relationship with wife (W40)

I screwed up yesterday and have a very angry and upset wife. And instead of making things better, I am making them worse. I need to help with how to fix things

Here's the background. Yesterday me and my wife went out to eat. After we left the house, she told me something, and instead of following up, I said "ok". She got a little upset. So I said I was busy trying to drive, which she interpreted to mean that I didn't want to talk to her. So she got more upset. And I became quiet, which made things worse. We got to the fast food restaurant, where things spiralled worse. We had a big argument in the car and came home where we talked things through and the fight was over. We ate late and I had to work so I turned in around 1130. 5 mins later my wife comes into the bedroom to make up some more and I am masturbating. First I deny it, which was a big problem. I should not have lied. It has been a busy week and we have not made love in 6 or 7 days. So my wife is very upset and I cannot fix things.

Today I wake up and go to work. I apologize again. I text and apologize. I come home and my wife is in the bedroom. I leave her alone in case she is sleeping. Bad decision. I am making things worse. I can be standoff-ish when we fight and she says I am a cold fish. Also, when we fight I worry more about making things worse than fixing things.

I am an only child and ending fights has always been a problem for me. So I need help. I am the one in the wrong here and I want to fix things. She is very upset and says I need to treat her like a woman.

I apologize that this has rambled a bit, but I really need help. How can I fix this?

TL:DR: Wife is mad at me and I am terrible at fixing things



Submitted June 24, 2019 at 12:15AM

I screwed up yesterday and have a very angry and upset wife. And instead of making things better, I am making them worse. I need to help with how to fix thingsHere's the background. Yesterday me and my wife went out to eat. After we left the house, she told me something, and instead of following up, I said "ok". She got a little upset. So I said I was busy trying to drive, which she interpreted to mean that I didn't want to talk to her. So she got more upset. And I became quiet, which made things worse. We got to the fast food restaurant, where things spiralled worse. We had a big argument in the car and came home where we talked things through and the fight was over. We ate late and I had to work so I turned in around 1130. 5 mins later my wife comes into the bedroom to make up some more and I am masturbating. First I deny it, which was a big problem. I should not have lied. It has been a busy week and we have not made love in 6 or 7 days. So my wife is very upset and I cannot fix things.Today I wake up and go to work. I apologize again. I text and apologize. I come home and my wife is in the bedroom. I leave her alone in case she is sleeping. Bad decision. I am making things worse. I can be standoff-ish when we fight and she says I am a cold fish. Also, when we fight I worry more about making things worse than fixing things.I am an only child and ending fights has always been a problem for me. So I need help. I am the one in the wrong here and I want to fix things. She is very upset and says I need to treat her like a woman.I apologize that this has rambled a bit, but I really need help. How can I fix this?TL:DR: Wife is mad at me and I am terrible at fixing things
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