I (20M) Recently Broke Up with My Girlfriend (22F), But Don't Want to Cut Her Out of My Life

I recently (Friday) broke up with my girlfriend of one year. We initially found each other on the subreddit make friends here, where I made a post and she replied. We had no idea we went to the same university or lived in the same city. When we talked and found out more about each other, we both felt a natural attraction. It wasn't long before we wanted to meet each other and started hanging out, which took place around late 2017.

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This was the first real relationship for both of us, but for the most part things went smoothly. We enjoyed each others company, loved, supported and trusted each other, and had fun. Over the time we were together, it was essentially me who was making the sexual aspect of our relationship develop. She was really insecure about herself, and had no experience doing anything with anyone. I tried to be patient and took things slowly, but I pushed too hard sometimes. It was my first time doing anything with a partner, and I know I have a high libido. She didn't like that I wanted to fool around so much and worried I was only in the relationship for that, kind of like fwb. We talked it over, and I realized my mistake and tried to be more aware of how she felt and what she wanted to do whenever I wanted to initiate something sexual from then on.

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Around exam time (December), we didn't spend a lot of time together. Things got busy for us both, but we still talked almost if not everyday. After exams, around February, we spent a lot of time together. We went on dates and got food and hung out watching TV shows. Each time we hung out, by the end of the night we were both feeling like fooling around. By this point, we were doing everything but have piv sex. We both have our v card still, and I had asked her a while prior if she wanted to go all the way. She took her time to think but told me yes not too long before the days when we were hanging out. I think we were just waiting for the right moment to come around, but it never did.

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Right after the clump of days where we spent a lot of time together, there was a period of ~2 weeks where I thought she was busy with assignments and University stuff. We hardly talked and had really basic conversations, just saying how were doing and what we were up to. Replying every couple of hours and stuff. I realized that something was wrong after the ~2 weeks had gone by, and asked her about it. She said that it was kind of the same problem as before, where she thought I wanted to do sexual stuff too much and valued it over the relationship. This parts not too important, because we talked it over and even after that she felt like she had a problem with the relationship.

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We decided it would be best to take a break so she could think about things and figure it out. We both reaffirmed that we didn't want to break up and loved each other. She was going out of city, so the timing worked out. Initially it was supposed to be for 2 weeks, but she ended up staying with her family for almost 2 months, and came back last Thursday. We met and talked Friday.

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To be honest, I can't really remember what exactly she said or meant, but it went something along the lines of this: She realized that she was in the relationship because of how I made her feel secure and happier, but that she didn't really love me in a romantic kind of way. The way we both found each other and the way I changed how she felt about herself, made her feel like she was in love with me. But I think she said that she realized that love wasn't a romantic kind deep inside. She told me that she still cared about me and loved me but just not in that way anymore, and that she still wanted to be friends.

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I'm really antisocial and have no other close friends I talk to or hang out with at all. I don't want to cut her out of my life, but I have no idea how to make a friendship with her work. The pain of losing that love and relationship hurts, but I'm so scared of being alone. How can I be friends with her while still having the memories and feelings from the time we spent together? Will they just change over time if I try?

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TL;DR Broke up with my girlfriend of one year. She wants to be friends, and I don't know how to make it work.

Submitted June 23, 2019 at 11:52PM

I recently (Friday) broke up with my girlfriend of one year. We initially found each other on the subreddit make friends here, where I made a post and she replied. We had no idea we went to the same university or lived in the same city. When we talked and found out more about each other, we both felt a natural attraction. It wasn't long before we wanted to meet each other and started hanging out, which took place around late 2017.​This was the first real relationship for both of us, but for the most part things went smoothly. We enjoyed each others company, loved, supported and trusted each other, and had fun. Over the time we were together, it was essentially me who was making the sexual aspect of our relationship develop. She was really insecure about herself, and had no experience doing anything with anyone. I tried to be patient and took things slowly, but I pushed too hard sometimes. It was my first time doing anything with a partner, and I know I have a high libido. She didn't like that I wanted to fool around so much and worried I was only in the relationship for that, kind of like fwb. We talked it over, and I realized my mistake and tried to be more aware of how she felt and what she wanted to do whenever I wanted to initiate something sexual from then on.​Around exam time (December), we didn't spend a lot of time together. Things got busy for us both, but we still talked almost if not everyday. After exams, around February, we spent a lot of time together. We went on dates and got food and hung out watching TV shows. Each time we hung out, by the end of the night we were both feeling like fooling around. By this point, we were doing everything but have piv sex. We both have our v card still, and I had asked her a while prior if she wanted to go all the way. She took her time to think but told me yes not too long before the days when we were hanging out. I think we were just waiting for the right moment to come around, but it never did.​Right after the clump of days where we spent a lot of time together, there was a period of ~2 weeks where I thought she was busy with assignments and University stuff. We hardly talked and had really basic conversations, just saying how were doing and what we were up to. Replying every couple of hours and stuff. I realized that something was wrong after the ~2 weeks had gone by, and asked her about it. She said that it was kind of the same problem as before, where she thought I wanted to do sexual stuff too much and valued it over the relationship. This parts not too important, because we talked it over and even after that she felt like she had a problem with the relationship.​We decided it would be best to take a break so she could think about things and figure it out. We both reaffirmed that we didn't want to break up and loved each other. She was going out of city, so the timing worked out. Initially it was supposed to be for 2 weeks, but she ended up staying with her family for almost 2 months, and came back last Thursday. We met and talked Friday.​To be honest, I can't really remember what exactly she said or meant, but it went something along the lines of this: She realized that she was in the relationship because of how I made her feel secure and happier, but that she didn't really love me in a romantic kind of way. The way we both found each other and the way I changed how she felt about herself, made her feel like she was in love with me. But I think she said that she realized that love wasn't a romantic kind deep inside. She told me that she still cared about me and loved me but just not in that way anymore, and that she still wanted to be friends.​I'm really antisocial and have no other close friends I talk to or hang out with at all. I don't want to cut her out of my life, but I have no idea how to make a friendship with her work. The pain of losing that love and relationship hurts, but I'm so scared of being alone. How can I be friends with her while still having the memories and feelings from the time we spent together? Will they just change over time if I try?​TL;DR Broke up with my girlfriend of one year. She wants to be friends, and I don't know how to make it work.