Is a healthy relationship possible with someone (30m) that has depression and alcoholism?

Hi all,

I've (30f) been friends with this guy Garrett (30m) for 4 years and recently we changed the nature of our relationship and we're romantically involved now for about 3 months. Everything is going really well, he treats me really great and we have a solid friendship and common interests.

The problem is that he has struggled with mental illness and addiction problems for many years. Sometimes he's doing well and staying sober with a stable job and other times he goes back to drinking and not working, etc.

That being said, he has a habit of lying about a lot of things, sometimes serious stuff (whether he's sober or not) and sometimes insignificant stuff.

The lying is the only thing that has really been a red flag. He's never once been abusive or any of the things that people associate with addiction and mental illness.

He has been in and out of therapy since be was a teenager and he wants to do better as well.

Most people tell me outright that it's not possible to have a healthy or happy relationship with someone knee-deep in addiction, lies and depression.

I really care about him and would hate to break things off because of these things. Am I crazy? Is this a bad idea? I'm just not sure how to address the criticism from friends and family when he has been nothing but amazing to me thus far.

Thanks.

TL;DR I'm in a new relationship with someone that struggles with mental illness and addiction, and my friends and family don't approve of my choice to be with him and I don't know how to address it or if I should end it.



Submitted July 01, 2019 at 12:03AM

Hi all,I've (30f) been friends with this guy Garrett (30m) for 4 years and recently we changed the nature of our relationship and we're romantically involved now for about 3 months. Everything is going really well, he treats me really great and we have a solid friendship and common interests.The problem is that he has struggled with mental illness and addiction problems for many years. Sometimes he's doing well and staying sober with a stable job and other times he goes back to drinking and not working, etc.That being said, he has a habit of lying about a lot of things, sometimes serious stuff (whether he's sober or not) and sometimes insignificant stuff.The lying is the only thing that has really been a red flag. He's never once been abusive or any of the things that people associate with addiction and mental illness.He has been in and out of therapy since be was a teenager and he wants to do better as well.Most people tell me outright that it's not possible to have a healthy or happy relationship with someone knee-deep in addiction, lies and depression.I really care about him and would hate to break things off because of these things. Am I crazy? Is this a bad idea? I'm just not sure how to address the criticism from friends and family when he has been nothing but amazing to me thus far.Thanks.TL;DR I'm in a new relationship with someone that struggles with mental illness and addiction, and my friends and family don't approve of my choice to be with him and I don't know how to address it or if I should end it.
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