I [M 24] feel like I am moving too fast with my new girlfriend [F 23]. I have an urge to ignore her, but not because I don't like her. Please give me your opinion.

TL;DR - I have been moving fast with my current long distance girlfriend and have anxiety every week or so that she does not feel the same way despite daily reassurance without my asking. I want to take a few days without talking to her, but I am not sure if that is the right way to approach this, especially since she returns home in a week.

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I met my current girlfriend about two months ago, and we couldn't stop hanging out after the first time we were together. We were only together for about two weeks before she had to leave to visit her family for a month in Brazil (we both live in the US currently). She told me she wanted to be exclusive before she left and I agreed. She gets back in a week now, and we have talked everyday a bunch since she had been away. I feel like we have only gotten closer since she has been away. I really miss her despite only knowing her for such a short time, and she always tells me she misses me as well. We told one another that we loved each other. It feels very wrong to care this much for someone so quickly and while they are so far away. I believe I trust her a lot, and she seems like a genuine person. She has all of the qualities that I am looking for in someone I want to be with and more.

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The problem that I have right now is that there is a thought in the back of my head saying that she doesn't give a fuck about me and I care far too much about her. Mind you, she gives me constant reassurance. Everyday she says how much she misses me and how much she adores me. She is seriously great. Most days I am completely fine and don't worry about this at all, but sometimes when I have nothing better to think about it hits me really hard. The problem is that all I want to do when I think about her not liking me is to ignore her completely and block her off. I know that would cause a bunch of problems, but it would get my mind off her. I acknowledge that this is toxic behavior, but I just want to do it so bad. The best solution I have to stop the anxiety is to ignore her for a few days.

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Is this reasonable behavior? Should I just have a few days to myself to try to regain my thoughts and calm down? I feel like its not unreasonable to have some time to myself after spending so much time talking to this person. I just feel like its for the wrong reason. I also don't know how to say "I don't want to talk for a few days, but it's not your fault." without sounding like a huge asshole.

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She gets back in a week, and I don't want to feel this same way when she returns.



Submitted July 01, 2019 at 12:08AM

TL;DR - I have been moving fast with my current long distance girlfriend and have anxiety every week or so that she does not feel the same way despite daily reassurance without my asking. I want to take a few days without talking to her, but I am not sure if that is the right way to approach this, especially since she returns home in a week.​I met my current girlfriend about two months ago, and we couldn't stop hanging out after the first time we were together. We were only together for about two weeks before she had to leave to visit her family for a month in Brazil (we both live in the US currently). She told me she wanted to be exclusive before she left and I agreed. She gets back in a week now, and we have talked everyday a bunch since she had been away. I feel like we have only gotten closer since she has been away. I really miss her despite only knowing her for such a short time, and she always tells me she misses me as well. We told one another that we loved each other. It feels very wrong to care this much for someone so quickly and while they are so far away. I believe I trust her a lot, and she seems like a genuine person. She has all of the qualities that I am looking for in someone I want to be with and more.​The problem that I have right now is that there is a thought in the back of my head saying that she doesn't give a fuck about me and I care far too much about her. Mind you, she gives me constant reassurance. Everyday she says how much she misses me and how much she adores me. She is seriously great. Most days I am completely fine and don't worry about this at all, but sometimes when I have nothing better to think about it hits me really hard. The problem is that all I want to do when I think about her not liking me is to ignore her completely and block her off. I know that would cause a bunch of problems, but it would get my mind off her. I acknowledge that this is toxic behavior, but I just want to do it so bad. The best solution I have to stop the anxiety is to ignore her for a few days.​Is this reasonable behavior? Should I just have a few days to myself to try to regain my thoughts and calm down? I feel like its not unreasonable to have some time to myself after spending so much time talking to this person. I just feel like its for the wrong reason. I also don't know how to say "I don't want to talk for a few days, but it's not your fault." without sounding like a huge asshole.​She gets back in a week, and I don't want to feel this same way when she returns.
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