For my Soulmate

You'll still be staring at your wounds when he shows up, but unexpectedly, he'll come. Smelling of both love and sadness, intertwined in a way that defies all rules.

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It doesn't make sense. Live a thousand years. Analyze hundreds and thousands of people, look them in the eyes, deeply into their souls, thinking you have become an expert on humankind. People are now open books to you, you invoke their emotions, suffocate them with your empathy, till you no longer have to read, you are now being read to. Eventually all humans become the same to you, narrators, telling the stories of their lives to  anyone who would listen. This human however, didn't read his story, you already knew it, word by word.

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He was different, a black hole, an immaculate conception, an error message that crashed the server, except, that server was you. You don't know what to do with yourself anymore, you are now at his mercy, begging, pleading, for an innate feeling you've never experienced that was within you all along. You have no choice, that concept no longer exists.

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You don't give yourself to him like you have with the others, rather he takes you into himself, engulfs you, surrounds you in every direction you turn. But instead of planning your escape, constructing a wall, fighting for air, running away, screaming for someone, anyone, to save you; you let yourself fall. There was never an option anyway. And you knew it. From the second he looked into you, the moment your life-reel started to play itself in front of his eyes, shamelessly uncovering everything there ever was to know about you. You just knew.

You want to weep with both misery and bliss, drain every tear that exists in you, for now you have seen light and you exist of it. So you fall, deeper and deeper, hoping that landing will be as soft as you'd imagined. There is no way he'd ever let you shatter, for he is trapped in you, in the same way you are trapped in him. You are connected, and have always been one. Your heart no longer a constant static organ, a cosmological constant, it will now and forever be expanding.

You recognize the universe, and the universe within yourself, infinitely growing yet never imploding, its mystery, the dark energy that causes it to do so, you see it all within yourself. Then you realize, it all makes sense, he was YOU all along, and the beauty that you never recognized within yourself, he was the very reflection of all that, and for a moment you were blinded. You were Einstein before the Hubble telescope, failing to understand the most intricate part of life, that this universe and everyone in it is infinite. He looks at you, and for the first time you see yourself in someone else, smelling of both love and sadness. 

Submitted April 17, 2019 at 01:00AM

You'll still be staring at your wounds when he shows up, but unexpectedly, he'll come. Smelling of both love and sadness, intertwined in a way that defies all rules.​It doesn't make sense. Live a thousand years. Analyze hundreds and thousands of people, look them in the eyes, deeply into their souls, thinking you have become an expert on humankind. People are now open books to you, you invoke their emotions, suffocate them with your empathy, till you no longer have to read, you are now being read to. Eventually all humans become the same to you, narrators, telling the stories of their lives to  anyone who would listen. This human however, didn't read his story, you already knew it, word by word.​He was different, a black hole, an immaculate conception, an error message that crashed the server, except, that server was you. You don't know what to do with yourself anymore, you are now at his mercy, begging, pleading, for an innate feeling you've never experienced that was within you all along. You have no choice, that concept no longer exists.​You don't give yourself to him like you have with the others, rather he takes you into himself, engulfs you, surrounds you in every direction you turn. But instead of planning your escape, constructing a wall, fighting for air, running away, screaming for someone, anyone, to save you; you let yourself fall. There was never an option anyway. And you knew it. From the second he looked into you, the moment your life-reel started to play itself in front of his eyes, shamelessly uncovering everything there ever was to know about you. You just knew.You want to weep with both misery and bliss, drain every tear that exists in you, for now you have seen light and you exist of it. So you fall, deeper and deeper, hoping that landing will be as soft as you'd imagined. There is no way he'd ever let you shatter, for he is trapped in you, in the same way you are trapped in him. You are connected, and have always been one. Your heart no longer a constant static organ, a cosmological constant, it will now and forever be expanding.You recognize the universe, and the universe within yourself, infinitely growing yet never imploding, its mystery, the dark energy that causes it to do so, you see it all within yourself. Then you realize, it all makes sense, he was YOU all along, and the beauty that you never recognized within yourself, he was the very reflection of all that, and for a moment you were blinded. You were Einstein before the Hubble telescope, failing to understand the most intricate part of life, that this universe and everyone in it is infinite. He looks at you, and for the first time you see yourself in someone else, smelling of both love and sadness.