I don't know how feel when a meetup pulls a 180, very confused?

Went to meet someone and we both agreed it was casual because she travels, but before hand we talked for like 4 hours on the phone and we had discussed what we wanted to do the night of. I had such good vibes and she even trusted me enough to book her hotel for us (IE give me the money before hand). During our convo she told me she enjoyed strawberries so I went out on got a box of chocolate covered strawberries as a gift. We had both discussed that we didn't want this to be a one night stand, more of a FWB I had mentioned that I thought she was a cool person and I felt like we both actually liked each other so I was curious if she was totally against any potential relationships and she said she wasn't sure and I was like no worries was just curious. Anyways show up at the hotel get the room for us, wait for her to arrive. She gets there everything seems great having good convo hugging, I give her the strawberries. I'm feeling really positive and then out of nowhere she says she's not sure she want's to have sex anymore. I said okay any reason why, she says she's unsure. So I ask if I should leave, keep in mind we were at this point cuddling on the couch in the room. She says no don't leave, and she explains she has feelings for this person who burned her pretty badly six months ago and that she's out of nowhere is feeling like a hoe. Honestly in my head at this point I'm wondering what went wrong or if that's even the truth, I explain to her that I don't put sex on a pedestal and I don't think of her that way and that we both agreed this was supposed to be just a casual thing. We begin talking about I ask he why it's making her feel this way etc. I ask again if she wants me to leave she once again says no, she then says that she also partly feels like I'm giving off a vibe that this isn't just casual and I explain to her that just because I like her and I'm interested in her as a person doesn't mean I had higher expectations than this being casual if happened great if not no worries. The conversation continues and she asks if we can just not do anything tonight, at this point I'm so confused and feeling kind of hurt and I explain like we kind of had a game plan about how things were going to go tonight and then you kind of dropped this big awkward bomb on me, like you absolutely have the right to say no but that was something I was expecting and excited for (white knights please don't crucify me). The conversation starts to get a bit heated because at this point I'm upset at the situation and I just kind of want to leave and I feel like everything I'm saying is making the situation worse and nothing is going to save it or change her mind. She then says she knows it's her fault and I'm justified in the way I feel but she says she would be interested in being friends and would like to hang out when she gets back in 10 days from her trip. I bluntly tell her you travel a lot and I'm not sure that I'm not sure we have enough in common to forge a strong friendship with you not being here on top of which I would still be sexually interested in you and it would be difficult for me to suppress those feelings. She seemed confused by this and didn't understand what I meant and why it was a bad thing to make a new friend, and that sometimes a friend can become sexually interested. I told her I have a hand full of really close friends and if we don't things often those friendships typically end up fizzling for me, and honestly most of my friendships with girls don't bloom into those types of feelings later on it's probably something with me but it just doesn't happen. I said I guess we could try but I don't want to play around with your emotions like the guy who did six months ago I'd rather be blunt than hurt you because I do like you. We're both pretty upset at this point and I decide that I've had enough at this point and I want to leave. She's sitting on the bed and before I leave I crouch down hold her hands and I explain I know I'm being kind of big jerk and I wish this went a lot better, I know I should've just left instead of trying to fix or talk about it but I was just upset, you're a beautiful girl sincerely one of the prettiest girls I would've ever had the good fortune to be with and I enjoy talking to you and I'm willing to try if you want to, I have trust issues so it's hard for me to believe that you'll want to come back and hang out with me after we had such a bad interaction but I'm willing to try. She says thank you that the apology was nice and that the guy who played with her heart never even called her beautiful. We both stand up hug each other and we kiss each other and I say goodbye.

She's now going to be gone for 10 days in a different state, and I'm not honestly sure how to feel I know I wasn't the best but I feel like my trust with her is waning and I don't know if she's going to lament over things or get more in her head about it. I'm not really sure what to do I didn't handle the situation perfectly but for me I feel like for me it was the best that I could do at the time. If she comes back and does want to see me again should I give her a chance or should I just chalk this up as an unfortunate failure? I'm just really confused on my feelings with this. Ideally she'd comeback we hang out and then start seeing each other but I don't know if that's too optimistic. I wouldn't care if I didn't like her but gosh it's just really playing with my mind. I don't know if she was telling me the truth, or if it was really something to do with me, she said she hadn't seen anyone for six months, but who know she could hook up with some people while she's back home. Honestly the whole thing is giving really bad anxiety at this point.

If anyone has some meaningful advice I would appreciate it, but if you want to chew me out feel free to as well. For reference Im 25 and she's 22 if that matters.

Submitted August 07, 2020 at 11:50PM

Went to meet someone and we both agreed it was casual because she travels, but before hand we talked for like 4 hours on the phone and we had discussed what we wanted to do the night of. I had such good vibes and she even trusted me enough to book her hotel for us (IE give me the money before hand). During our convo she told me she enjoyed strawberries so I went out on got a box of chocolate covered strawberries as a gift. We had both discussed that we didn't want this to be a one night stand, more of a FWB I had mentioned that I thought she was a cool person and I felt like we both actually liked each other so I was curious if she was totally against any potential relationships and she said she wasn't sure and I was like no worries was just curious. Anyways show up at the hotel get the room for us, wait for her to arrive. She gets there everything seems great having good convo hugging, I give her the strawberries. I'm feeling really positive and then out of nowhere she says she's not sure she want's to have sex anymore. I said okay any reason why, she says she's unsure. So I ask if I should leave, keep in mind we were at this point cuddling on the couch in the room. She says no don't leave, and she explains she has feelings for this person who burned her pretty badly six months ago and that she's out of nowhere is feeling like a hoe. Honestly in my head at this point I'm wondering what went wrong or if that's even the truth, I explain to her that I don't put sex on a pedestal and I don't think of her that way and that we both agreed this was supposed to be just a casual thing. We begin talking about I ask he why it's making her feel this way etc. I ask again if she wants me to leave she once again says no, she then says that she also partly feels like I'm giving off a vibe that this isn't just casual and I explain to her that just because I like her and I'm interested in her as a person doesn't mean I had higher expectations than this being casual if happened great if not no worries. The conversation continues and she asks if we can just not do anything tonight, at this point I'm so confused and feeling kind of hurt and I explain like we kind of had a game plan about how things were going to go tonight and then you kind of dropped this big awkward bomb on me, like you absolutely have the right to say no but that was something I was expecting and excited for (white knights please don't crucify me). The conversation starts to get a bit heated because at this point I'm upset at the situation and I just kind of want to leave and I feel like everything I'm saying is making the situation worse and nothing is going to save it or change her mind. She then says she knows it's her fault and I'm justified in the way I feel but she says she would be interested in being friends and would like to hang out when she gets back in 10 days from her trip. I bluntly tell her you travel a lot and I'm not sure that I'm not sure we have enough in common to forge a strong friendship with you not being here on top of which I would still be sexually interested in you and it would be difficult for me to suppress those feelings. She seemed confused by this and didn't understand what I meant and why it was a bad thing to make a new friend, and that sometimes a friend can become sexually interested. I told her I have a hand full of really close friends and if we don't things often those friendships typically end up fizzling for me, and honestly most of my friendships with girls don't bloom into those types of feelings later on it's probably something with me but it just doesn't happen. I said I guess we could try but I don't want to play around with your emotions like the guy who did six months ago I'd rather be blunt than hurt you because I do like you. We're both pretty upset at this point and I decide that I've had enough at this point and I want to leave. She's sitting on the bed and before I leave I crouch down hold her hands and I explain I know I'm being kind of big jerk and I wish this went a lot better, I know I should've just left instead of trying to fix or talk about it but I was just upset, you're a beautiful girl sincerely one of the prettiest girls I would've ever had the good fortune to be with and I enjoy talking to you and I'm willing to try if you want to, I have trust issues so it's hard for me to believe that you'll want to come back and hang out with me after we had such a bad interaction but I'm willing to try. She says thank you that the apology was nice and that the guy who played with her heart never even called her beautiful. We both stand up hug each other and we kiss each other and I say goodbye.She's now going to be gone for 10 days in a different state, and I'm not honestly sure how to feel I know I wasn't the best but I feel like my trust with her is waning and I don't know if she's going to lament over things or get more in her head about it. I'm not really sure what to do I didn't handle the situation perfectly but for me I feel like for me it was the best that I could do at the time. If she comes back and does want to see me again should I give her a chance or should I just chalk this up as an unfortunate failure? I'm just really confused on my feelings with this. Ideally she'd comeback we hang out and then start seeing each other but I don't know if that's too optimistic. I wouldn't care if I didn't like her but gosh it's just really playing with my mind. I don't know if she was telling me the truth, or if it was really something to do with me, she said she hadn't seen anyone for six months, but who know she could hook up with some people while she's back home. Honestly the whole thing is giving really bad anxiety at this point.If anyone has some meaningful advice I would appreciate it, but if you want to chew me out feel free to as well. For reference Im 25 and she's 22 if that matters.