Me [20, M] being bored with relationship with my [19, F] girlfriend of 2.5 years during pandemics.

Hello! I am writing this post because I feel exhausted by "status quo" in my relationship due to pandemics.

My problem is routine. We see each other about 3-4 times a week, and we do almost the same stuff - talking and watching movies, going for a brief walks. I am afraid that our future life would look like this and this exhausts me. I have absolutely boring life now, nothing happens, I study, sleep, play video games and that's it. I think, that I might have OCD, my symptoms are the same as my mother's and she is diagnosed with it.

Another important thing - soon my girlfriend is going to have final exams before going to the university. She is totally stressed out and focused on it. I am really struggling because I try my best to motivate her etc, but I lack affection for most of the time as she cant think about anything else but her exams. I dont blame her to be clear, but I am feeling lonely a bit now. Our sex life got worse, we have sex once a week, but its because she is having rough time now.

With that being said - my mind is probably a tricky one, because I obsessively think about my relationship. The thougts are mainly "Do I love her?", "Would I be happier with someone else?", "Will we be happy in the future?" "Won't I hurt her in the future?". And tho I deep down know she is the purest little thing and when I imagine her in my head I smile rapidly. One time I am sure I love her, and the other I feel nothing, like my mind was trying to block any feelings towards her.

Besides our current problems, we have pretty much healthy relationship - when she is in trouble I always feel a strong need to help her, and take care of her and vice versa; she takes care of me too, we laugh a lot and can talk about anything, before quarantine I was more than happy to imagine our future together now I can feel harmony and peace at best.

When I am with her I am sure I love her, when I am alone obsessive thoughts come to my mind and its more than exhausting.

If someone asked me if I want to build a long-term relationship with her I would say yes of course, I am really commited and willing to make this bond stronger and stronger, but now I feel completely lost of the track. Also, when I imagine I could not love her I get very, very anxious, because I would not want that at all.

My main questions are: is it possible I am having some personal issues? Can it be boredom in a relationship? Might it be ROCD? Is it fixable? (I really hope it is)

As always, thank you in advance!

PS. I think the other factor in this case might by ending of honeymoon phase for me, which messes with my head.

tl;dr: struggling with routine in a relationship, having obssesive thoughts and strong anxiety



Submitted May 31, 2020 at 12:15AM

Hello! I am writing this post because I feel exhausted by "status quo" in my relationship due to pandemics.My problem is routine. We see each other about 3-4 times a week, and we do almost the same stuff - talking and watching movies, going for a brief walks. I am afraid that our future life would look like this and this exhausts me. I have absolutely boring life now, nothing happens, I study, sleep, play video games and that's it. I think, that I might have OCD, my symptoms are the same as my mother's and she is diagnosed with it.Another important thing - soon my girlfriend is going to have final exams before going to the university. She is totally stressed out and focused on it. I am really struggling because I try my best to motivate her etc, but I lack affection for most of the time as she cant think about anything else but her exams. I dont blame her to be clear, but I am feeling lonely a bit now. Our sex life got worse, we have sex once a week, but its because she is having rough time now.With that being said - my mind is probably a tricky one, because I obsessively think about my relationship. The thougts are mainly "Do I love her?", "Would I be happier with someone else?", "Will we be happy in the future?" "Won't I hurt her in the future?". And tho I deep down know she is the purest little thing and when I imagine her in my head I smile rapidly. One time I am sure I love her, and the other I feel nothing, like my mind was trying to block any feelings towards her.Besides our current problems, we have pretty much healthy relationship - when she is in trouble I always feel a strong need to help her, and take care of her and vice versa; she takes care of me too, we laugh a lot and can talk about anything, before quarantine I was more than happy to imagine our future together now I can feel harmony and peace at best.When I am with her I am sure I love her, when I am alone obsessive thoughts come to my mind and its more than exhausting.If someone asked me if I want to build a long-term relationship with her I would say yes of course, I am really commited and willing to make this bond stronger and stronger, but now I feel completely lost of the track. Also, when I imagine I could not love her I get very, very anxious, because I would not want that at all.My main questions are: is it possible I am having some personal issues? Can it be boredom in a relationship? Might it be ROCD? Is it fixable? (I really hope it is)As always, thank you in advance!PS. I think the other factor in this case might by ending of honeymoon phase for me, which messes with my head.tl;dr: struggling with routine in a relationship, having obssesive thoughts and strong anxiety
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