I have a great marriage, but rarely have sex. How can I reignite that part of our relationship?

My wife (29F) and I (32M) have been married for 5 years. We have a wonderful marriage. We communicate really well, are extremely supportive of each other, share responsibilities, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Right now, she is working from home full-time, and I am down to part-time hours, but also working from home. Despite being around each other almost non-stop, we are as close as ever and have had no conflicts or stresses on our relationship.

The one area which has been a concern for years, though, is our sex life. We used to have sex a few times a week, which was fantastic. I knew that sex might taper off a bit as time went on, but I wasn't prepared for what has happened. We now have sex no more than twice a month, sometimes only once a month. I try to initiate much more often, but she always shoots me down. We never have sex on weeknights, only weekends. She never initiates, never tries to seduce me, never makes any attempt at being sexy. When we do have sex, there's no romance to it; she just takes off her clothes and lays on the bed.

I have tried to talk to her about this a number of times. I've expressed that I am unhappy with our sex life. I told her that I want to have sex more often, that I want to experiment more, that I want her to initiate, that I want to have more foreplay and romance. But nothing ever changes. I ask her what her fantasies are, and she says she doesn't know. She swears that she has a sex drive and enjoys sex (she always gets off a few times), but it just doesn't seem that way over the last couple years.

Recently, I've felt particularly rejected. She developed a yeast infection and refused to see a doctor about it for almost a month. During that time, we didn't have sex at all. It felt like she was intentionally letting the infection go on so that she had an excuse to avoid sex. This is starting to really depress me, as it just feels like she has no interest in this part of our life which she knows is very important to me.

What can I do resurrect my sex life with my wife? What, if anything, can I do to get her to take an interest in sex again?

Submitted May 07, 2020 at 12:15AM

My wife (29F) and I (32M) have been married for 5 years. We have a wonderful marriage. We communicate really well, are extremely supportive of each other, share responsibilities, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Right now, she is working from home full-time, and I am down to part-time hours, but also working from home. Despite being around each other almost non-stop, we are as close as ever and have had no conflicts or stresses on our relationship.The one area which has been a concern for years, though, is our sex life. We used to have sex a few times a week, which was fantastic. I knew that sex might taper off a bit as time went on, but I wasn't prepared for what has happened. We now have sex no more than twice a month, sometimes only once a month. I try to initiate much more often, but she always shoots me down. We never have sex on weeknights, only weekends. She never initiates, never tries to seduce me, never makes any attempt at being sexy. When we do have sex, there's no romance to it; she just takes off her clothes and lays on the bed.I have tried to talk to her about this a number of times. I've expressed that I am unhappy with our sex life. I told her that I want to have sex more often, that I want to experiment more, that I want her to initiate, that I want to have more foreplay and romance. But nothing ever changes. I ask her what her fantasies are, and she says she doesn't know. She swears that she has a sex drive and enjoys sex (she always gets off a few times), but it just doesn't seem that way over the last couple years.Recently, I've felt particularly rejected. She developed a yeast infection and refused to see a doctor about it for almost a month. During that time, we didn't have sex at all. It felt like she was intentionally letting the infection go on so that she had an excuse to avoid sex. This is starting to really depress me, as it just feels like she has no interest in this part of our life which she knows is very important to me.What can I do resurrect my sex life with my wife? What, if anything, can I do to get her to take an interest in sex again?