Why women with trust issues are considered crazy

Me 33,f have tons of really bad experiences. I was with someone who was seeing 3 girls at the same time in 3 different cities. I was also with someone who was hunting on tinder when we were already living together. He told me it was his low self esteem but he was going out with those girls.

It's obvious that I have trust issues.

But I am a smart girl. I know I can't force anyone to do anything. I have no impact on how my bf behaves. I can't control anyone.

But I can protect myself.

I started to date a 32,m 5 mos ago and after we got exclusive I saw a tinder open when he wanted to show me something on his phone. We had a mature conversation, I explained him how important exclusivity is for me and we moved on.

Recently he became busy at work, we see each other rarely but we still are in regular touch. He being way more distant made me feel uncomfortable

I checked on him. I spied. I went on tinder and found out that he is still out there. I told him that I saw him on tinder and I don't understand why. I also told him that I might be wrong and I'm not accusing him of anything, just asking.

He told me his 5y gf was doing the same and spying on him and he can't live like this. He told me he will be quiet for a while now. I have a feeling we are done here

Did I really do such a bad thing? It was triggered by his behaviour, not my crazy mental projections. I had my reasons to do so. I don't want to think that I am a crazy woman. Am I?



Submitted March 14, 2020 at 12:06AM

Me 33,f have tons of really bad experiences. I was with someone who was seeing 3 girls at the same time in 3 different cities. I was also with someone who was hunting on tinder when we were already living together. He told me it was his low self esteem but he was going out with those girls.It's obvious that I have trust issues.But I am a smart girl. I know I can't force anyone to do anything. I have no impact on how my bf behaves. I can't control anyone.But I can protect myself.I started to date a 32,m 5 mos ago and after we got exclusive I saw a tinder open when he wanted to show me something on his phone. We had a mature conversation, I explained him how important exclusivity is for me and we moved on.Recently he became busy at work, we see each other rarely but we still are in regular touch. He being way more distant made me feel uncomfortableI checked on him. I spied. I went on tinder and found out that he is still out there. I told him that I saw him on tinder and I don't understand why. I also told him that I might be wrong and I'm not accusing him of anything, just asking.He told me his 5y gf was doing the same and spying on him and he can't live like this. He told me he will be quiet for a while now. I have a feeling we are done hereDid I really do such a bad thing? It was triggered by his behaviour, not my crazy mental projections. I had my reasons to do so. I don't want to think that I am a crazy woman. Am I?
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