My (f18) [kind of] boyfriend (m20) refuses to eat on dates

TL;DR: I’ve gone on a few dates with someone and they don’t eat anything. I really like them otherwise, so I don’t know what to do. What do I even say to him?

I have known H for about a year as friends. We were pretty close friends and I felt like I knew him decently well. I ended up getting romantic feelings for him a few months ago and asked H out.

We just hung out and walked around our uni, and it went super well! We had hung out as friends before, but this was our first date date. It was a tad awkward at the end because I asked if I could kiss him and uhm he said no.

There was some context making it less bad, but essentially he said he didn’t want to kiss me because “we” (read I) had just gotten ice cream.

Legitimately, the date went well enough otherwise that it made up for this moment.

I was kind of expecting him to ask me out for our second date, so we kind of didn’t do anything for like 2 weeks. I eventually just asked him what his thoughts were about if he still wanted to date me. H was super complimentary and said yes.... but didn’t ask me out.

Ok, so I just asked on another date for that weekend: this time it was taking a walk and then having dinner together.

The walk was lovely and we actually did kiss when I asked. Essentially the previous date would have been totally perfect had it ended with that kiss.

The dinner on the other hand was pretty bad. He suggested splitting something —ok, that’s cute— but then he ate literally none of it. We just talked “normally,” but it was so confusing why he wasn’t eating.

I just stopped eating too and then he asked me if there was something wrong with the food??? Eventually H came up with the semi-serious explanation that he wasn’t eating because he didn’t want to take my food (he knew I was paying for the date)???

It obvi ended early and I was kinda upset that he was being dumb.

Surprisingly he actually asked me out without any prompting for a third date. It was really confusing because I thought he just wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship.

Essentially it would be another time walking around but then we would be watching a movie at his apartment. Upfront, I asked if we were going to be eating anything, and he legitimately said that he thought it would be more romantic if neither of us ate.

I have no idea what to even say. I honestly don’t care wether we eat or not on dates, but it just seems weird that he actually had a preference. It’s confusing because this seems weird, but I love being around him otherwise... I don’t know what to do.

Submitted March 18, 2020 at 12:14AM

TL;DR: I’ve gone on a few dates with someone and they don’t eat anything. I really like them otherwise, so I don’t know what to do. What do I even say to him?I have known H for about a year as friends. We were pretty close friends and I felt like I knew him decently well. I ended up getting romantic feelings for him a few months ago and asked H out.We just hung out and walked around our uni, and it went super well! We had hung out as friends before, but this was our first date date. It was a tad awkward at the end because I asked if I could kiss him and uhm he said no.There was some context making it less bad, but essentially he said he didn’t want to kiss me because “we” (read I) had just gotten ice cream.Legitimately, the date went well enough otherwise that it made up for this moment.I was kind of expecting him to ask me out for our second date, so we kind of didn’t do anything for like 2 weeks. I eventually just asked him what his thoughts were about if he still wanted to date me. H was super complimentary and said yes.... but didn’t ask me out.Ok, so I just asked on another date for that weekend: this time it was taking a walk and then having dinner together.The walk was lovely and we actually did kiss when I asked. Essentially the previous date would have been totally perfect had it ended with that kiss.The dinner on the other hand was pretty bad. He suggested splitting something —ok, that’s cute— but then he ate literally none of it. We just talked “normally,” but it was so confusing why he wasn’t eating.I just stopped eating too and then he asked me if there was something wrong with the food??? Eventually H came up with the semi-serious explanation that he wasn’t eating because he didn’t want to take my food (he knew I was paying for the date)???It obvi ended early and I was kinda upset that he was being dumb.Surprisingly he actually asked me out without any prompting for a third date. It was really confusing because I thought he just wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship.Essentially it would be another time walking around but then we would be watching a movie at his apartment. Upfront, I asked if we were going to be eating anything, and he legitimately said that he thought it would be more romantic if neither of us ate.I have no idea what to even say. I honestly don’t care wether we eat or not on dates, but it just seems weird that he actually had a preference. It’s confusing because this seems weird, but I love being around him otherwise... I don’t know what to do.