I (F,22) think my boyfriend (20, M) is obsessed with games and Youtube

Just some background information:

I have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year now, going on two this year. When we first met, he told me he enjoyed playing computer games and watching youtube and that was totally fine with me. Everyone has the things that they enjoy and I told him that if it made him happy then that's okay. I also told him that I wouldn't mind watching his games either and or playing with him if I could.

At first, of course, everything was fine. He made a lot of effort towards communicating without gaming or youtube. We could spend hours talking to each other, which we still can do, but it would just be us with no distractions. Some days he would tell me that he and his friends would play online games, it would last hours but I had NO issues with it whatsoever because he gave me the one-on-one communication with no distractions. He could play games for all I cared and I let him. We met for the first time in person and it was WONDERFUL. He is great, thoughtful, loving, caring, etc. The whole nine yards. He didn't game or anything during our first meeting, mainly because I was there.

A couple to a few months after our first meeting was when I began to notice that nearly every day or every other day when we are talking he is playing a game or watching youtube. I made time to speak to him with no distractions insight for the most part. During this time I was in nursing school and some days I had to study but I even had him up on my computer and when I took breaks it was just him. Sometimes I may have talked on the phones with my friends during that time but nothing ever continuously had my attention. Soon every time we began talking, he has a game up or he's watching a youtube video. Then it starts up that when I talk to him it's taking him time to respond to what I am saying which makes me have to either repeat myself or wait until he responds. Repeating myself multiple times makes me very annoyed. I brought this up to him immediately because I came from a toxic relationship beforehand where I bottled up how I felt a lot of the times and now in this relationship, we feel like communication is the key. I told him about how I felt, he thanked me for it and he'll work on it. He told me that he plays a lot of games when I'm not there because it is a bad old habit and that's what he did when he was alone but when I am there with him in person, he doesn't because I am there. Okay cool, said he'll work on it but it lasts about a week, maybe a week and a half and he's back doing it again. Constant gaming and YouTubing while we are on video chat. We are in a long-distance relationship, communication is very important and is like the only thing we have to keep things afloat for the most part.

I tell him that I am not going to keep telling him something that irritates me. I used to do it with my ex but it isn't worth it. I will communicate my thoughts and feelings but I won't keep repeating myself over and over. Time passes and I see he continues it and then I'll tell him once more and then watch and he starts back up again.

We meet for the second time in person and it's absolutely wonderful. No gaming, no YouTubing, it's perfect.

Present-day:

At this point, I am really annoyed with him playing games and YouTubing while we are talking on the phone. It's to the point where it's every day now. If I come home and we decide to skype, most likely he's already playing a video game and can't stop to just give one-on-one communication and talk most days. There are days where he does communicate with no distractions and we watch a show/movie or something but if he has time after it's back to youtube or back to playing a game. Other times he will stay and talk some. Most days though, it will be coming home and calling him on skype or discord and then him messing around on his computer for hours up until it's time for him to go to bed. During this time I say absolutely nothing the issue to him to see what he does. Then when it's time for him to go to bed, he takes the laptop with him in bed and then he wants all the attention. Like dude, we had about five or more hours to give each other attention and now you want my full attention twenty minutes before you go to sleep? No.

Like let's say we could be watching a movie and I pause it to use the bathroom or check something, I come back and he's watching a youtube video already. I'm like dude I was away for like 2 minutes. Prior this wouldn't annoy me but now knowing that he has to be doing one or the other or both now, it's the little things that are beginning to irk me.

My boyfriend and I are 5-6 hours apart, depends on the time change sometimes, but I understand that he stays up until around 1 A.M. to speak to me on days that he has class and stuff but this also is with him staying up playing on the computer and stuff.

Recently schools have been canceled for him, due to the virus, and I finally thought we would have more time to talk with his classes being online now. 1 am hits and he said he's going to bed because he has school work tomorrow. I asked him aren't his classes online now? He told me he had an online lecture. Okay, he goes to bed at 1 A.M. The next day we are talking and he tells me he can go to bed later tonight. I think he said that because he felt I was angry from going to bed at 1 A.M. which I was a bit annoyed about but I understood. I, myself am currently taking 4 online classes (was prior to the virus for my bachelor's degree and juggling a new nursing job) So today he comes home from working a long shift. I suggested that we have taco night together, he tells me he can't because he promised his friends that he was going to play a game with them tonight. It's currently lasting beyond 1 A.M. right now.

I understand that breaking an old habit for people is very hard but I also don't feel like I should have to keep telling him about it. Once, twice, three times potentially but more than that? No. He goes to school to work with computers, he works with computers at work, and then comes home and is glued to one with gaming and YouTubing. I guess skyping me doesn't help either but it's like he can not just like relax with just us anymore. He has to be doing something else in the background, always.

Does it seem like I am overreacting or is it something serious that needs to be thoroughly discussed? As anyone else dealt with this before?

TL;DR: My boyfriend plays so much videogames and youtube while we talk on the phone and it is really starting to get to me now.

Submitted March 18, 2020 at 12:16AM

Just some background information:I have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year now, going on two this year. When we first met, he told me he enjoyed playing computer games and watching youtube and that was totally fine with me. Everyone has the things that they enjoy and I told him that if it made him happy then that's okay. I also told him that I wouldn't mind watching his games either and or playing with him if I could.At first, of course, everything was fine. He made a lot of effort towards communicating without gaming or youtube. We could spend hours talking to each other, which we still can do, but it would just be us with no distractions. Some days he would tell me that he and his friends would play online games, it would last hours but I had NO issues with it whatsoever because he gave me the one-on-one communication with no distractions. He could play games for all I cared and I let him. We met for the first time in person and it was WONDERFUL. He is great, thoughtful, loving, caring, etc. The whole nine yards. He didn't game or anything during our first meeting, mainly because I was there.A couple to a few months after our first meeting was when I began to notice that nearly every day or every other day when we are talking he is playing a game or watching youtube. I made time to speak to him with no distractions insight for the most part. During this time I was in nursing school and some days I had to study but I even had him up on my computer and when I took breaks it was just him. Sometimes I may have talked on the phones with my friends during that time but nothing ever continuously had my attention. Soon every time we began talking, he has a game up or he's watching a youtube video. Then it starts up that when I talk to him it's taking him time to respond to what I am saying which makes me have to either repeat myself or wait until he responds. Repeating myself multiple times makes me very annoyed. I brought this up to him immediately because I came from a toxic relationship beforehand where I bottled up how I felt a lot of the times and now in this relationship, we feel like communication is the key. I told him about how I felt, he thanked me for it and he'll work on it. He told me that he plays a lot of games when I'm not there because it is a bad old habit and that's what he did when he was alone but when I am there with him in person, he doesn't because I am there. Okay cool, said he'll work on it but it lasts about a week, maybe a week and a half and he's back doing it again. Constant gaming and YouTubing while we are on video chat. We are in a long-distance relationship, communication is very important and is like the only thing we have to keep things afloat for the most part.I tell him that I am not going to keep telling him something that irritates me. I used to do it with my ex but it isn't worth it. I will communicate my thoughts and feelings but I won't keep repeating myself over and over. Time passes and I see he continues it and then I'll tell him once more and then watch and he starts back up again.We meet for the second time in person and it's absolutely wonderful. No gaming, no YouTubing, it's perfect.Present-day:At this point, I am really annoyed with him playing games and YouTubing while we are talking on the phone. It's to the point where it's every day now. If I come home and we decide to skype, most likely he's already playing a video game and can't stop to just give one-on-one communication and talk most days. There are days where he does communicate with no distractions and we watch a show/movie or something but if he has time after it's back to youtube or back to playing a game. Other times he will stay and talk some. Most days though, it will be coming home and calling him on skype or discord and then him messing around on his computer for hours up until it's time for him to go to bed. During this time I say absolutely nothing the issue to him to see what he does. Then when it's time for him to go to bed, he takes the laptop with him in bed and then he wants all the attention. Like dude, we had about five or more hours to give each other attention and now you want my full attention twenty minutes before you go to sleep? No.Like let's say we could be watching a movie and I pause it to use the bathroom or check something, I come back and he's watching a youtube video already. I'm like dude I was away for like 2 minutes. Prior this wouldn't annoy me but now knowing that he has to be doing one or the other or both now, it's the little things that are beginning to irk me.My boyfriend and I are 5-6 hours apart, depends on the time change sometimes, but I understand that he stays up until around 1 A.M. to speak to me on days that he has class and stuff but this also is with him staying up playing on the computer and stuff.Recently schools have been canceled for him, due to the virus, and I finally thought we would have more time to talk with his classes being online now. 1 am hits and he said he's going to bed because he has school work tomorrow. I asked him aren't his classes online now? He told me he had an online lecture. Okay, he goes to bed at 1 A.M. The next day we are talking and he tells me he can go to bed later tonight. I think he said that because he felt I was angry from going to bed at 1 A.M. which I was a bit annoyed about but I understood. I, myself am currently taking 4 online classes (was prior to the virus for my bachelor's degree and juggling a new nursing job) So today he comes home from working a long shift. I suggested that we have taco night together, he tells me he can't because he promised his friends that he was going to play a game with them tonight. It's currently lasting beyond 1 A.M. right now.I understand that breaking an old habit for people is very hard but I also don't feel like I should have to keep telling him about it. Once, twice, three times potentially but more than that? No. He goes to school to work with computers, he works with computers at work, and then comes home and is glued to one with gaming and YouTubing. I guess skyping me doesn't help either but it's like he can not just like relax with just us anymore. He has to be doing something else in the background, always.Does it seem like I am overreacting or is it something serious that needs to be thoroughly discussed? As anyone else dealt with this before?TL;DR: My boyfriend plays so much videogames and youtube while we talk on the phone and it is really starting to get to me now.