My gf (21F) just broke up with me (24M) because her Mormon family that's never met me disapproves of me
We started dating about 5 months ago. When I met her she was visiting from the next state over but was already planning on moving to where I live for the 2020 spring semester so we decided to do the long distance thing until then. We'd drive to see each other about every 2 or 3 weeks and would talk to each other daily. She is secretly jack-Mormon and questions the church but her family has no idea. About 3 months in I asked her if she'd want to make things official. She said yes and seemed happy about it, but then a few days later she told me she'd like to hold off on it since she was still scared to tell her parents she was dating a non-Mormon boy. It didn't bug me too much since I didn't really care about our "status" much and we were both having a good time anyways.
She went back home to her family for the holidays and that's when things got a little weird. I could tell that something was bugging her and when I asked she said she was having family issues and that she wanted to talk to me about them when she moved down here for the semester next week.
Today she told me over the phone that she doesn't think things are going to work out. After a little prying she mentioned that it has to do with her family, and that she realized that their approval of her is more important to her than she realized. She knows that they wouldn't like me just because I'm not Mormon.
My question is this: Do I have any chance of convincing her to think for herself and continuing the relationship despite her parents dissaproval? Or should I even try? Everything was going great and I believe we still have the same feelings for each other, it's just that she's afraid of her parents and the church. My ex-Mormon friends told me that getting married in the temple is beaten into you from a young age and that she's probably just really scared of what would happen if she continues to date me.
TL;DR jack-Mormon gf broke up with me because her family wouldn't approve of a non-Mormon boy and they still think she's a good Mormon girl. We still have feelings for each other, she's mostly just scared of her parents approval and the church. Should I try to convince her to think for herself or just let the relationship end?
Submitted January 04, 2020 at 12:05AM
We started dating about 5 months ago. When I met her she was visiting from the next state over but was already planning on moving to where I live for the 2020 spring semester so we decided to do the long distance thing until then. We'd drive to see each other about every 2 or 3 weeks and would talk to each other daily. She is secretly jack-Mormon and questions the church but her family has no idea. About 3 months in I asked her if she'd want to make things official. She said yes and seemed happy about it, but then a few days later she told me she'd like to hold off on it since she was still scared to tell her parents she was dating a non-Mormon boy. It didn't bug me too much since I didn't really care about our "status" much and we were both having a good time anyways.She went back home to her family for the holidays and that's when things got a little weird. I could tell that something was bugging her and when I asked she said she was having family issues and that she wanted to talk to me about them when she moved down here for the semester next week.Today she told me over the phone that she doesn't think things are going to work out. After a little prying she mentioned that it has to do with her family, and that she realized that their approval of her is more important to her than she realized. She knows that they wouldn't like me just because I'm not Mormon.My question is this: Do I have any chance of convincing her to think for herself and continuing the relationship despite her parents dissaproval? Or should I even try? Everything was going great and I believe we still have the same feelings for each other, it's just that she's afraid of her parents and the church. My ex-Mormon friends told me that getting married in the temple is beaten into you from a young age and that she's probably just really scared of what would happen if she continues to date me.TL;DR jack-Mormon gf broke up with me because her family wouldn't approve of a non-Mormon boy and they still think she's a good Mormon girl. We still have feelings for each other, she's mostly just scared of her parents approval and the church. Should I try to convince her to think for herself or just let the relationship end?
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