I (F21) went on date with a guy (M23) and found out he’s married

TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.

We matched on a dating app two weeks ago, but only messaged about superficial things. Well, he seemed nice and interesting to talk to, so I asked him if he’d like to meetup. Anyway, fast forward to this week, we went out to eat and things went great. The conversation flowed, seemed like we both found each other attractive, and most importantly, I found him to be very easy to talk to and felt pretty comfortable around him (important to me given my last boyfriend was hypercritical and made me feel anxious). Since I liked him a lot, I went ahead and looked him up on facebook to see if there were any red flags that I didn’t catch on the date. Well, I found a post he made two days before our date announcing that “[wife] and I have split ties and are currently going through a divorce, but I wish her well.” And then he mentioned that he tried dating other women to move on, but realized that it’s just better for him to focus on his career and self right now.

Now I know that there’s nothing wrong with dating a person who has been married and divorced before, but I’m conflicted because 1) We’re so young (me especially) and he’s already been married and divorced, 2) He’s not even divorced by the looks of it, just started the divorce process and he’s already dating. 3) He posted on facebook that he’s not ready to move on, yet he’s dating. 4) But then again, I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now, since I’m a busy college student and only have time for weekend dating.

Basically what I’m looking for is for y’all to give me advice on how to go about this. What are y’all’s experiences in similar situations? I liked him, and don’t want to judge him for his past, but that facebook post makes me feel weird, I guess. Would it be worth continuing to date him even with this info? Should I tell him I know because I stalked his Facebook? That makes me feel bad, but then again, it posted it on a public place for everyone to see.

TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.



Submitted January 26, 2020 at 12:04AM

TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.We matched on a dating app two weeks ago, but only messaged about superficial things. Well, he seemed nice and interesting to talk to, so I asked him if he’d like to meetup. Anyway, fast forward to this week, we went out to eat and things went great. The conversation flowed, seemed like we both found each other attractive, and most importantly, I found him to be very easy to talk to and felt pretty comfortable around him (important to me given my last boyfriend was hypercritical and made me feel anxious). Since I liked him a lot, I went ahead and looked him up on facebook to see if there were any red flags that I didn’t catch on the date. Well, I found a post he made two days before our date announcing that “[wife] and I have split ties and are currently going through a divorce, but I wish her well.” And then he mentioned that he tried dating other women to move on, but realized that it’s just better for him to focus on his career and self right now.Now I know that there’s nothing wrong with dating a person who has been married and divorced before, but I’m conflicted because 1) We’re so young (me especially) and he’s already been married and divorced, 2) He’s not even divorced by the looks of it, just started the divorce process and he’s already dating. 3) He posted on facebook that he’s not ready to move on, yet he’s dating. 4) But then again, I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now, since I’m a busy college student and only have time for weekend dating.Basically what I’m looking for is for y’all to give me advice on how to go about this. What are y’all’s experiences in similar situations? I liked him, and don’t want to judge him for his past, but that facebook post makes me feel weird, I guess. Would it be worth continuing to date him even with this info? Should I tell him I know because I stalked his Facebook? That makes me feel bad, but then again, it posted it on a public place for everyone to see.TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.
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