I (F21) went on date with a guy (M23) and found out he’s married

TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.

We matched on a dating app two weeks ago, but only messaged about superficial things. Well, he seemed nice and interesting to talk to, so I asked him if he’d like to meetup. Anyway, fast forward to this week, we went out to eat and things went great. The conversation flowed, seemed like we both found each other attractive, and most importantly, I found him to be very easy to talk to and felt pretty comfortable around him (important to me given my last boyfriend was hypercritical and made me feel anxious). Since I liked him a lot, I went ahead and looked him up on facebook to see if there were any red flags that I didn’t catch on the date. Well, I found a post he made two days before our date announcing that “[wife] and I have split ties and are currently going through a divorce, but I wish her well.” And then he mentioned that he tried dating other women to move on, but realized that it’s just better for him to focus on his career and self right now.

Now I know that there’s nothing wrong with dating a person who has been married and divorced before, but I’m conflicted because 1) We’re so young (me especially) and he’s already been married and divorced, 2) He’s not even divorced by the looks of it, just started the divorce process and he’s already dating. 3) He posted on facebook that he’s not ready to move on, yet he’s dating. 4) But then again, I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now, since I’m a busy college student and only have time for weekend dating.

Basically what I’m looking for is for y’all to give me advice on how to go about this. What are y’all’s experiences in similar situations? I liked him, and don’t want to judge him for his past, but that facebook post makes me feel weird, I guess. Would it be worth continuing to date him even with this info? Should I tell him I know because I stalked his Facebook? That makes me feel bad, but then again, it posted it on a public place for everyone to see.

TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.



Submitted January 26, 2020 at 12:04AM

TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.We matched on a dating app two weeks ago, but only messaged about superficial things. Well, he seemed nice and interesting to talk to, so I asked him if he’d like to meetup. Anyway, fast forward to this week, we went out to eat and things went great. The conversation flowed, seemed like we both found each other attractive, and most importantly, I found him to be very easy to talk to and felt pretty comfortable around him (important to me given my last boyfriend was hypercritical and made me feel anxious). Since I liked him a lot, I went ahead and looked him up on facebook to see if there were any red flags that I didn’t catch on the date. Well, I found a post he made two days before our date announcing that “[wife] and I have split ties and are currently going through a divorce, but I wish her well.” And then he mentioned that he tried dating other women to move on, but realized that it’s just better for him to focus on his career and self right now.Now I know that there’s nothing wrong with dating a person who has been married and divorced before, but I’m conflicted because 1) We’re so young (me especially) and he’s already been married and divorced, 2) He’s not even divorced by the looks of it, just started the divorce process and he’s already dating. 3) He posted on facebook that he’s not ready to move on, yet he’s dating. 4) But then again, I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now, since I’m a busy college student and only have time for weekend dating.Basically what I’m looking for is for y’all to give me advice on how to go about this. What are y’all’s experiences in similar situations? I liked him, and don’t want to judge him for his past, but that facebook post makes me feel weird, I guess. Would it be worth continuing to date him even with this info? Should I tell him I know because I stalked his Facebook? That makes me feel bad, but then again, it posted it on a public place for everyone to see.TL;DR: Matched with guy on dating app, went on date and liked him, but stalked his FB and saw that he’s married and just started the divorce process. Feeling conflicted.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more