Wife (29) left me (30) after six years after I was disrespectful for the last time

After much thought into my life and the mistakes I made - it was time I was honest with myself. Thought I would shared my letter with you people here. Has anyone else been in such a situation where you were able to work it out? Is it possible to continue a life with someone who broke your trust or once lost, is it gone forever?

M30 F29 together 6 years

First and last paragraph are wrote talking to my wife. Everything in between was me writing to myself owning what I've done.

If there is anything that I've proven when I've been with you it's that I never really truly cared. How many times can a person say they are sorry and keep repeating the same mistakes. The damage has been done.The mind can be persuaded the heart not so much. It's too late for honesty and forgiveness.

You can't go back. You can't beg your way back into someone's life when you broke in the same promises you're trying to make again. She loved you and you threw that away for selfish Pleasures. You failed your wife and kid and don't deserve them back. How can you tell someone you've changed when you've changed before.

When she says she's done leave it alone. Better yet, you should have never put her in the position to have to say that she was done.

Just because you hurt and are afraid over her going out with someone else one night doesn't me a damn thing when you did the same and worse. And not just once. How Could You have been so selfish to try and put blame on someone that cared and never wanted to fight from the start. You scared and scarred the person you said you loved. No one should ever have to be afraid of the person there with. No one should ever be afraid of wanting out or getting out. Still now, she said she is done and you keep making the same apologies and promises. Why should she believ you? You did this. She was always kind and forgiving and took you back once already. You did this. Not her anyone else. Your situation doesn't mean shit nor is it an excuse what you've done recently.

Why do you think you would even stand a chance again? Can you blame her for saying she thought about dating again? You say things had been good - this shit that shit - but when you have a pattern of abuse it doesn't matter, YOU fucked up. Yeah, things may have been good in YOUR eyes. But guess what? She's walking on egg shells around you not wanting to provoke you. You instilled fear into the person you were supposed to be taking care of and showing you loved. You thought things were good but she was miserable still because of what you and others had already put her through.

Do you really think she believes you? Or is she just thinking, oh... He knows I'm ready to leave. He knows I went and had a good time and NOW he cares and is scared. She probably feels like she'll take you and now he thinks he's in control again. Oh, "round three of more bullshit to come"

You know what her and her family went through with there father. You know what she went through with her exes. You know now what you've done but does that change anything?

What do you do when you've proven nothing but you're a piece of shit. Sorry isn't enough. Saying you've changed isn't enough. Your understanding and hurt doesn't mean shit to the person you subjected it to. You tried to prove yourself before. Why the fuck would she believe that anything has changed now? So you say you care. SHOW IT. You love her? SHOW IT. If she wants someone else, support her. You fucked up. You know in her eyes that saying yes to you at this point must be the dumbest option available. Can you blame her?

Why did you ever fight to begin with? She never did anything wrong. You couldn't own up to YOUR own mistakes and would lie. So she called you on your bullshit you got defensive. She had every right to question what you were doing.

I don't blame you if you don't believe me and don't want take a step forward with me again. I did this.. All I can do is do what I said I would do . Love you, support you and take care of you. You mean the world to me and always will. You still melt my heart. I just want to wake up next to you again and know I'm still luckiest man alive to have a woman like you. I'm sorry.

Tl;Dr I was an absolute wreck due to alcohol and was never able to control it. My wife finally had enough before Christmas and now I fear losing her forever. Is it possible to come back from putting someone thru 6 years of hell? Have you ever been in such a situation to where you were able to work out after a positive change?

Submitted December 25, 2019 at 12:06AM

After much thought into my life and the mistakes I made - it was time I was honest with myself. Thought I would shared my letter with you people here. Has anyone else been in such a situation where you were able to work it out? Is it possible to continue a life with someone who broke your trust or once lost, is it gone forever?M30 F29 together 6 yearsFirst and last paragraph are wrote talking to my wife. Everything in between was me writing to myself owning what I've done.If there is anything that I've proven when I've been with you it's that I never really truly cared. How many times can a person say they are sorry and keep repeating the same mistakes. The damage has been done.The mind can be persuaded the heart not so much. It's too late for honesty and forgiveness.You can't go back. You can't beg your way back into someone's life when you broke in the same promises you're trying to make again. She loved you and you threw that away for selfish Pleasures. You failed your wife and kid and don't deserve them back. How can you tell someone you've changed when you've changed before.When she says she's done leave it alone. Better yet, you should have never put her in the position to have to say that she was done.Just because you hurt and are afraid over her going out with someone else one night doesn't me a damn thing when you did the same and worse. And not just once. How Could You have been so selfish to try and put blame on someone that cared and never wanted to fight from the start. You scared and scarred the person you said you loved. No one should ever have to be afraid of the person there with. No one should ever be afraid of wanting out or getting out. Still now, she said she is done and you keep making the same apologies and promises. Why should she believ you? You did this. She was always kind and forgiving and took you back once already. You did this. Not her anyone else. Your situation doesn't mean shit nor is it an excuse what you've done recently.Why do you think you would even stand a chance again? Can you blame her for saying she thought about dating again? You say things had been good - this shit that shit - but when you have a pattern of abuse it doesn't matter, YOU fucked up. Yeah, things may have been good in YOUR eyes. But guess what? She's walking on egg shells around you not wanting to provoke you. You instilled fear into the person you were supposed to be taking care of and showing you loved. You thought things were good but she was miserable still because of what you and others had already put her through.Do you really think she believes you? Or is she just thinking, oh... He knows I'm ready to leave. He knows I went and had a good time and NOW he cares and is scared. She probably feels like she'll take you and now he thinks he's in control again. Oh, "round three of more bullshit to come"You know what her and her family went through with there father. You know what she went through with her exes. You know now what you've done but does that change anything?What do you do when you've proven nothing but you're a piece of shit. Sorry isn't enough. Saying you've changed isn't enough. Your understanding and hurt doesn't mean shit to the person you subjected it to. You tried to prove yourself before. Why the fuck would she believe that anything has changed now? So you say you care. SHOW IT. You love her? SHOW IT. If she wants someone else, support her. You fucked up. You know in her eyes that saying yes to you at this point must be the dumbest option available. Can you blame her?Why did you ever fight to begin with? She never did anything wrong. You couldn't own up to YOUR own mistakes and would lie. So she called you on your bullshit you got defensive. She had every right to question what you were doing.I don't blame you if you don't believe me and don't want take a step forward with me again. I did this.. All I can do is do what I said I would do . Love you, support you and take care of you. You mean the world to me and always will. You still melt my heart. I just want to wake up next to you again and know I'm still luckiest man alive to have a woman like you. I'm sorry.Tl;Dr I was an absolute wreck due to alcohol and was never able to control it. My wife finally had enough before Christmas and now I fear losing her forever. Is it possible to come back from putting someone thru 6 years of hell? Have you ever been in such a situation to where you were able to work out after a positive change?